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 Aug 2016 N Paul
Little Bear
and she placed her forehead
on the closed door
shutting her eyes
she wept
her palm flat against the wood
feeling the last place he had touched
wishing he could feel her fingers spread
through his back
into his ribs
taking her with him
and the room fell silent

in the back of her mind
she heard a dark smile
slowly opening her tired eyes
knowing now
what stood behind her

the sword he had given her
lay at her feet
too heavy to wield
weighing more
than her courage
but she very slowly
picked it up
scraping a line on the floor
and she heard him whisper
be brave little bear

turning, slowly, knowing,
with the weapon
heavy in her hands
held out before her
shaking with it's weight
her eyes traveled
from her feet
on the floor
to the 'smile'
of the grinning dragon
and right then, she knew just how very small she was
 Aug 2016 N Paul
Little Bear
 Aug 2016 N Paul
Little Bear
In a world made of
and hells  
he is the earth
Solid and life giving
Yet creating such
Even the stars
could not fathom.
 Aug 2016 N Paul
Little Bear
i sleep with the lights on
not because i am afraid of the dark
but because
what lingers in the dark
is afraid of the light
 Aug 2016 N Paul

Even in this darkness, her darkness,
when a moonless sky
preaches fear from a pulpit of shadows
pointing elongated fingers

and walls crumble
into a rubble strewn alleyway
with graffiti issues, spray painted threats
on frantic facades dripping

As common sense
hides in sealed envelopes
addressed but not delivered
to neighborhoods in need

while self professed wanderers
linger on sidewalks of
washed out hopscotch scenes
by a raincloud that never seems to stop  

Her beauty shines
in effervescent streams
illuminating a photograph, poetry
and a kind word from quivering lips

caressing my eyes
in watercolor enchantments
and pastel pleasures,
showing me it is not what, but who

For this darkness is hers,
weighted thoughts on soft shoulders
binding wrists in tethered worries,
draining dreams from casted wishes

as regrets rip at the fabric,
folding seams in crooked stitches,
her heart beats to outrun the pain
and still she finds time to smile,  for me
Let me lay you down softly
in Rose's made of red
give to me all your love tonight
let me lay you in our bed
touch me with your lips tenderly
let me feel you deep from within
hold on to me and never let go
let me feel the softness of your skin
as our bodies both entwine
give all you have to me
and make love through the night
let me be yours and you mine
and let this love of ours show
forever through time
Spiritwind ©2016
 Aug 2016 N Paul
If only I could wish to forget you.

I remember it being not so long ago, when your awkward smile imprinted itself to my memory. I remember when you brushed your hair out of your face, when your eyes told me "well, aren't you something else."

I remember the stories you told me. You told me the story of a little boy who was afraid to grow up. We relived the stories you kept in that scared head of yours and gave them hope for a better ending.

I remember the times you fell on your knees, searching for acceptance. You were always yearning for empathy. You were tired of sympathy. I cleared away the broken glass. I gave you a magic mirror, to show you the goodness you couldn't see in yourself.

I remember the tears that you let me keep. I held you in my arms, in my heart; for yours was a heavy burden I couldn't let you bear alone. I saved you from that anchor you called a soul, even if it meant that I drowned too.

I still keep them to this day.

It wasn't so long ago.

You gave me your heart. I trusted you with mine.

How easily you just threw it away.
i wish i could throw you away too
 May 2016 N Paul
Alyanne Cooper
I have good days, stretches of them even,
And stand at the top of my world.
But then a fleeting thought passes
And tips me off the ledge
Into the swallowing abyss
And I berate myself
For thinking I could conquer it.
I keep expecting a magic cure--
One that heals the scars
That never felt their wounds.
I keep thinking one day I will be normal.
And I die a little more when normal stretches
That much further away.

I'm staring up the walls of this abyss
As I tumble down to a depth I've never known.
I close my eyes in surrender,
But my soul, in the midst of its despair, revolts.

I challenge the force of gravity as I fall
With one simple thought:
What is normal?

Gleaming, undented shining armor?
Pristine closets with no skeletons?
A person who is whole and unbroken?

I will never be unbroken again.
The stories I've chosen not to share hide the skeletons that broke me.
I will never be whole as I once was.
The scars that line my arm bear testament to that fact.

And that...
That is normal,
For every human has their own
Definition of normal.

The fall suspends and I'm in the Fifth Dimension.
And suddenly I know I'm in control.
I'm in control because whoever I am is normal.

I open my eyes and I'm back on the top of my world.
 May 2016 N Paul
Pauline Morris
Have you ever wondered
What it's like to live a life that's been plundered
Body and emotions *****
What kind of monstrous life it shaped

Let me tell you a story
I apologize now, it maybe a little gory
It's about a little girls life
How she was forced to walk on the edge of the knife

The sadness started at her birth
At this event there was no mirth
Before her a brother at 4 months had died
She was not born a boy so her mother cried
But she was the apple of her Dad's eye

So for the next 7 years
Her world was full of cheer
Except for her mother's geers

There was mud pies
Sunny sky's
Bicycle rides
Slip and slides
Camping trips
Potato chips
Fishing poles
Daddy's hand to hold
Big sisters kisses
Mother's suppers delicious

Then came the split
Her heart was ripped

A dad rarely seen
A mother that was mean
Then came the step dad, what he did was obscene

A mom never knowing
Around the girl the darkness was growing
The keys on his belt jingled down the hall
He was coming to call
Under the covers the girl of 8 cowered
For he held all the power

Step dad beat the girl's mom all the time
He threatened the child, "tell no one, I claim you as mine"
She told not a soul, not even her Dad
She was afraid step dad would hurt him bad
Besides a new family with a new baby boy her Dad had

So she suffered in silence till the age of 14
When thinking back on what her years had gleaned
For her dad had recently passed away
It made her heart cave
She made a trip to the cemetery laid down on his grave
Took a handful of sleeping pills, death she craved
To her disappointment around noon the next day she woke up
Trudged back home, knowing she would have to drink the wrath from her mother's cup

Fast forward a few years
There was still plenty of tears
The sins of a mother is like no other
On the little girl they covered and smothered
The little girl knowing only pain as love
The girl married a man that beat and shoved

After four kids of her own, 3 daughters and a son
She found the key to her rusty cage and made a run
She was bound and determined thier childhood would be full of fun

For man's wicked way she had been shown
So for 13 years her and her kids lived all alone
She tried her hardest to protect them from the monsters
Only family was let close enough to love and foster

She didn't realize her mother had married ANOTHER *******
The little girl's  SON'S soul was tossed into the fire
Though she questioned her children all the time, the results was the same
Her son suffered in silence and shame
Even though the little girl didn't know, she was mom and she was to blame
All of her love couldn't heal her sons pain

The years ticked by
She lived under the darkest of skies
Her son's anger grew
He's words created scars that where new
Along with the constant every two year visits of the abusive alcoholic she had once been chained to

That girl decided her kids where grown and with her life she was through
Swallowed two bottles of pills
Praying it would cure all her ills
She went behind the veil to the dark quite abyss
Her children would be all she missed
Much to her chagrin
Those doctors brought her back to life again

Fast forward just two more years
There would be new founded fears
That abusive alcoholic made another visit, dragged her to the woods
***** her in the worst way he could
He left her miles from nowhere, bruised and bartered
More holes in her soul, ripped and tattered

That was a year ago
The darkness from it all still grows
She struggles every day
As she tries to keep the demons and darkness at bay
For her thoughts heavily weigh
When she thinks back on her life in decay

Are you wondering what happened to that little girl lost
How she lives on still paying the cost

Well you see
That Little girl is me

I'm still all alone
In my bedroom at home
That is where I cry
Screaming at a non existing God why
Why, I was only given a few happy years
With agony the rest was filled
Not understanding why I was spit out of deaths mouth, just to be ***** again
Tell me God, at the age of 8 what was my sin
Why was I condemned
Never to see blue skies again
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