I wear my skin as a test,
that god is my witness to
how you treat me.

I wear it like a cross.
my crucifixion though
I could save the world.

I am the secret
of the night come
risen from its womb.

Ordained by the Sun,
My skin is a test and
I am warm inside like you.

I stared out the window
My brain, completely disengaged
No thoughts, no emotions
But a war was being waged

I could not move or even think
Stood lifeless, as I gazed
But, inside my brain
This awful darkness blazed

Outside the window, light
It seemed so warm and pure
Still, inside my head
A madness did me lure

I could not raise my voice
Could not, say a word
That evil’s lock on me
Seemed to be assured

But then an angel’s voice
So sweetly to me said
Come with me my dear
And let us go to bed
BOEMS BY JA 583      
FOR MY WIFE

I took my first wrong turn
When I stopped loving you
And letting all our memories
All the moments we shared
Wither along side me

That is when the winter came
That is when the cold became my friend

That mistress trapped me in her embrace
And somehow, I found comfort in her cold
In winter winds caressing my cheek
And being drenched in the rays of a frozen sun

But Winter eventually passed
Leaving me to perish
In the storm raging within me

I think of Him
Of what He has done for me
He brought me up when I was down
He Comforted me
Never abandoned me
So this
This is my poem
Of Thanks

i will write every time i miss you
i will choke out words and mix this feeling into permanence
i will listen to the blackness of the sky when it speaks to me
like it always has
before you,
after you,
this time, do not forget what he has done to you.
it is not your fault that you mistake pain for love
but untangle the wires
do not forget how this feels.

i will write every time i miss you
i will tell the world how i am feeling
i will tell them which i fear is worse-
the emptiness you have carved out of me,
feeling every bone in my ribcage expand and contract with my breathsounds,
versus the way i let you
the way i laid in place and pretended it did not hurt

i will write every time i miss you
i will exist openly and let the world understand how much i am feeling
because if i don't have a course of action every time
a wave of you washes over me
i will fall into the comfort it reminds me of
i will manipulate the skies until the stars spell out i forgive you

i will write every time i miss you
so you can read the damage you have done
and understand that with every word i write
with every second i do not come back
i almost do