• Keep me posted!
• Look at my hands for a while.
• You can be yourself around me.
• Hold me when I need it.
• Smile when I feel threatened.
• Look me in the eye.
• Think about the effect you have on me.
• Don't underestimate me.

A slow ache,
that comes as the price of solitude,
doesn't sound so bad
when you first make the deal.
“I'll take it!”
Whatever the cost.
All that matters is that my heart
is now solid plaster
and the rest is machine.

Whenever your eyes glaze over
after I've just giddily completed a story
I feel like beheading myself
without leaving a note.

there are brief moments when I can smell death
for a second, ******* I can taste it
and it makes me believe that it is preferable
to whatever the alternatives are.
never can I sense the aroma
when I contemplate suicide
with hot tears running down
my impassible face covered by the shade of night.
it is when I am in fair spirits
then suddenly someone laughs
and more someone's laughs
and I do not
Why hasn't joy infected me, too?
Then is when I taste it
A bittersweetness that is better
than bland that I've been tasting.
Or perhaps when someone asks me a question
seconds pass and I've opened twice only to shut it
I don't know… is all I can muster
because my mind is stimulated by sweetness again
by death

One day
you will have to look in the mirror
and see yourself

It's nice to have new ideas
though you know you're not the first one
and certainly not the last

sometimes it feel likes
my mind is wandering
through twisted halls of a circular maze
round and round until I reach a center
and there is a path
that cuts through the labyrinth
and I am released,
my god I am free
once again

What the hell
My life does not live
anymore
it is a balancing act
of keeping the mask from slipping
and putting one foot
in front of the other
Oh, god
my senses do not feel
anymore
my hands clap
my lips curl
and I do not know why
Oh, god
my train is moving
but my brain is still
my muscles are not what propels me
it is only the longing
to reach the moment
when it all
falls apart