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 Feb 2018 kristen wilson
Amada
I no longer feel alone
For when my feet are submerged in the ocean
I feel the pulse of millions of beings
As I expel a breath from my lungs
I know it will be inhaled by someone like me
Someone who once felt alone
And has now shared life with a stranger.
i wonder if you can see
     a single beauty in me
  just like I see the whole universe
           in you.
We broke up, and you found somebody new.
She's beautiful, she has everything that I've ever wanted... you.
She is pretty and smart. But she doesn't go fishing
she doesn't go muddin'
she doesn't go camping,
she doesn't go huntin'
but you had to have her so don't come crawling back
you wanted her well now you got her.
You're stuck with the little preppy princess sorry.
I'm not taking you back.
~

she paints in
well-articulated strokes,
in shades that boldly
show the seeker,
she brushes
in the open
window
the painful colors
of the searcher.
somewhere
in between,
she is the
doubter and believer;
on the edge
of learning who
and what she is;
struggling to chart
a course for
who and what
she will become.
she knows at least enough
to know her present
is not enough,
and knows too much to
call an ending
to her painful search.
she is trapped
between
lament and expectation,
between
pain and exaltation.
she is beautiful
but caught on
an ugly razor's edge.
between
the past and the future,
present...
but so distant
on this search
to her existence.
the if's, the why's
behind locked doors,
away from all
the peering eyes,
the adjournment
to her journey,
her acceptance
of acquittance;
her debt discharged,
the charge expunged;
forever free,
her best revenge.

~

*post script.


for she who came to us with broken wing,
who cannot move forward without
her own acquittance of her past.
 Mar 2015 kristen wilson
JWolfeB
I'm left here
Leaving
Knowing nothing more than moments
Of mediocre shadowed by exceptional

Searching the synaptic spaces
Where perfection finds home

Living in chaotic chemistry
With thoughts of your flawless presence

I am leaving you here now
Imagining a legacy
Discovered by failures and unreal expectations
The foundation we were built on
 Mar 2015 kristen wilson
JWolfeB
Our bodies are lampshades

Dimming our true potential to shine
This morning on the train I saw a man who had lips like you. Slender and firm, lovingly powerful, perfectly matched for mine. A pang through the heart as he walked away - just like you.
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