I left that Elementary school so relieved
Because killing myself hadn't been successful
And I just wanted to escape
Even after the rope didn't work
I somehow lasted
To the end of the year
I was eleven then.
I hoped the next time I saw you
I would look pretty
I could show you
I am more than just
The ugly girl in the back row
Who doesn't own clothes as nice as yours
Never had a pretty face
Never wore make up
Because she wasn't allowed in the sixth grade
Who wasn't a flawless dancer like you
And was endlessly depressed
Who hated herself more than anyone else
Although there were close seconds
I wanted to be really pretty, and really skinny, with friends
Three things I never had in Elementary
More importantly though,
I wanted to be smiling the next time I saw you
To prove I could be happy
Because I didn't laugh that entire last year
In fact, I smiled only 8 times in total
I hoped to maybe have a boyfriend
Because the boy I liked for 7 years
Liked you
I saw you that very first day
And as usual
You acted like we never knew each other
I looked pretty ******
I felt fat in the shirt I was wearing
And you were dressed so much prettier than me
My friends were elsewhere
So it looked like I was still a loner
I was having a bad make up day
And I was in a bad mood
So I wasnt smiling.
I guess "Goth girl"as you used to call me
If I wore black shoes that day
The suicidal loser that everyone hated
Doesn't look like she's changed much to you, does she.

I see your face everyday in the crowd
I never say hi, of course. We were never really friends.
I consider giving a tight smile, you know
Just to be polite
After all, we did sit in the same classroom for two years
After all, we have known each other's names since kindergarten
But your friends all hated me
I don't know if you did
But I sure never remember you sticking up for me
Anyway
Now I see you everyday
And just like you used to
You pretend I don't exist
And just like you used to, you look perfect, you're pretty and popular
All the boys want your number
And I don't mind
It's just that, well
I still find myself
Jealous
Because I will never ever
Be like you
And that's the only thing I ever wanted
Way back then
When you at least said hi

Wrapped in your scent
I think of then
I think what could have been
If i had felt something more
If loving people wasnt a chore
I wish i could do more
We
Could have done more
But oh
Love is a bore

No

Love is fire
We were rain
Love was never
Part of our game
Your name
It sends chills down my spine
And no
Not the good kind

We were wet
Sloppy
Gross
And you loved the most
I was new to this feeling of comfort
Comfort
Was it comfort?
Was it comfort that kept me up at night
Wondering if my head was alright
Wondering if i was holding you tight
Enough?
Because you never seemed ok
With my selfish
Distant ways
And i never knew what to say
To do
How to act

But today
Holding your essence
In the naked palm
Of my hand
I felt that slighy
Small
Maybe

We could have been something someday

I am terrified of going back to how that pain wouldn't leave me two years ago because I have enough burdens left over to carry, and I don't deal with agony very well.

I am terrified of going back to how that numbness wouldn't leave me last year because it's worse even than anguish to be unable to feel, unconvinced you are still alive.

I am terrified of going back to how that happiness wouldn't leave me just over two years ago because as soon as you get up high, the further you have to fall.

Finding a man I love who only thinks I'm pretty with makeup on so the first time he sees me in the morning makeupless, having my tea he will realize I'm horribly ugly and leave me.

I will have a child one day that I can't support and have to put up for adoption to keep them alive.

I will die by drowning.

Everyone will find out my secrets.

One day I will send that one "Wrong text to the WRONG person." (anyone else ever do that?) and it will actually matter.

Dear Maggie Grace,



I find you to be a phenomenal poet. I want to recognize, acknowledge, and express my admiration, for all of your marvelous work, you are a beautiful part of this site and I have selected some of my favorite lines from your work. It is all really spectacular, and I have put my interpretations and thoughts below each poetic phrase you wrote:






Drinking my cold chai tea,
Tears falling endlessly.
-Maggie Grace

This is so vivid and genuine. The reality and physicality captured by these lines is fascinating and incredible. The description of the sensory so simply yet brilliantly put. I love your style of poetry. Also, chai tea is amazing. ;P




“Yes, I’m fine,”
And people believe me,
-Maggie Grace

You bring to focus such an achingly relatable topic. To be so indescribably not fine, but to say it anyway and to have people believe you, it is a unique and unpretty type of pain.




Weaving their web of lies,
Their pain they hide.
Don’t say hurtful things,
-Maggie Grace

I love, love LOVE these lines “weaving their web of lies” such magnificent imagery WOW! And the message you convey is such a vital one. To fight against hurtful words.




Save the teenage girl,
she needs her life,
she needs her everything,
stop bullying.
-Maggie Grace

Bullying is such a global, agonizing problem and you have truly snared the essence of the anguish of being bullied. You are an excellent poet.




I like to wander in the snow, and think about things, like you.
-Maggie Grace

You paint a picture with words here, and so many of us can really connect with that sort of feeling, a pensive mood, pondering another soul in this world. The setting you provide is lovely. “To wander in the snow” how delicate and beautiful.





Maggie Grace,

Thank you for blessing Hello Poetry with your presence. I am proud to call you a fellow poet, I could really feel your soul in the poetic pieces you compose and you have a beautiful soul from what I can tell. Keep writing, because you are a credit to the art of writing. :)

Love Ember Evanescent