She sees the souls
In the flowers and trees
Hears the music
In jingling keys
She can find the light
In your black eyes
Accepts the need
Of ruthless lies
She sees the world
Yin yang
When all seems different
Nothing really changed
She sees beauty in
Everything
And everyone
All is perfection
So why do her
Rose colored eyes
Always cry
Upon her reflection

I have all these fears
that create doubt within me
I'm so sad it hurts and still
You ask me to trust.
You want me to give unconditionally
But for what?
I'm already down on my knees as
I beg and plead for someone to rescue me
Someone come save me from these demons
that are consuming me!
It's dark here where i am
and I don't know if I'll ever find a light again
I'm gasping to breathe
All this pain inside is destroying me
I just want so bad to be free
I'm tired of this life dragging me down
tired of listening to everyone around me shout
I want numbness to take a firm hold of me
I want to feel nothing, cold as can be
Because I will never trust anyone again completely
mostly because I don't even trust me
I don't know when I'm going to finally snap
Right now I'm just stuck in life's heavy trap
I've been rode hard and put up wet
and I am out of gambling chips to bet
I want to give up
and be done with it all
Let go and not fear the fall
Why do I keep pushing myself and the ones that I love?
Why can't I let well enough be and just rise above?
So much madness and hate in this world
what has it made me become?
I feel worthless as can be
when no one is ever there to help me
It's like reaching out for someone who is not there
and I'm always left alone and bare
Always playing this game of truth or dare
It's like a first time kiss,
The price you pay is so immense
So tell me why I keep on playing,
When the price is too high for me to keep on paying?
This dark cloud just keeps hanging above
and I'm standing here stuck in a rut
continually hearing "I love you, but...."
© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

Imagine yourself
a ball of wax
falling through
a cosmic crack
a ball of steel
both reflecting
and holding all that's real
part of a parade into a cave
chanting about monks
who in their trunks carried enlightenment
too light for longing
too heavy for moving
and there you stayed
what
would you really want to say?
And would it matter anyway?

Imagine yourself
a ball of wax
falling through a cosmic crack
a tiny Katamari
calculating
as you rolled along
picking sticking
lawn chairs, Chevrolets
dancing flames
poets in their heyday
accumulating
distant ideas
lover's lips
and strangers kiss
all kinds of suffering could stick.
Could you find your way home
or is this all you've ever known?

***** of wax could be real,
manufactured ideals,
splendid ribbons of illusions
unwinding and weeping
teaching taking talking twisting
through those cosmic cracks splintering
Relax
This is a a relaxation exercise after all.
Imagine your self a ball of wax
falling through a cosmic crack. ..

I love the way my voice sounds when I say your name.

It's like honey melding into the warm butter on toast.
Sipping water after eating mints.

Those sorts of capricious and silly feelings.

It is consuming, inextricably tangling my words when I am speaking.
Every little word slightly unhinges from its meaning and spells out yours.

Somehow you find your way into my laughter, giggles and smiles.

So, please don't say you are just a person.
Sure, you don't rule the universe.
But you sure do      d.o.t  the stars             in mine,
sweet heart.