You make the world stop
And all I can focus on are the creases in the knee of your khaki pants and
My desperate hands holding one another
A buffer between our skin
Everything else fades away
You and I in this sacred place - you make me feel safe
Wrapped in the cocoon of your smile, armored in the gentleness of your being

I want to write about you until the words spilling off of the page turn into my twitchy fingertips tracing your lips
To get my fix
I can never get my fix of you

You move as though every inch of you has purpose
I’m nervous that you catch me staring
I’m betting all odds against myself

I could spend forever looking into those brown eyes that aren’t quite perfectly round
Reflecting curiosity and intensity
When you ask me to tell you what I’m thinking
You catch me off guard
Inquisitive questions probing deep into my thoughts

You say you want to understand how I think...
I think I want to understand how you make me feel the way you do
You make me feel like I matter
Like my words aren’t just meaningless syllables
You find my mind irresistible
And that makes it difficult for me to express what I really want to say to you
I’m scared

Trying to put my feelings into words is usually easy
I so freely give myself away
Wearing my heart on my sleeve is a terrible habit that I can’t seem to quit
Though I hate to admit it’s true
How can I resist you?

When I write about you, I want it to be perfect
A harmony of angels singing
Beautiful crescendos of passion and heart
I want to make you feel something; to have something resonate inside of you
Like poetry does for me

There are so many things I hate about you
But I still itch to know every flaw and every scar
I want to know who you are so wholly
That I lose myself wandering through your chapters
Every little piece of you matters
Wait
Let me try that again

There are so many things that I love about you
And if I could spend my days dreaming about
The way you hold my face in your hands
I’d dream forever
It’s hard to remember what this felt like before you

I can’t have you the way I want you
So I long from a distance
Hoping my persistence will someday pay off
And this beautiful tragedy
Won’t cause me agony any longer

I want to love you to love me so fiercely
That passion explodes from within me
And I can never stop writing words to you
It seems to be the only way to express my feelings
This is my healing
So thank you

I used to write
My secrets in the sand,
Knowing they would never stay
Long enough to be told.

I used to just swim,
pulled my hair up and never
Really tasted the salt that foamed
After the crash.

I've ran in the sand,
Sure, but never have I
Ever let it smooth my
Skin into what it could be.

Before today, I've never
Let the current take me
Under and feel what it's like
To always come back to something.

I am fragile
I chase people who don’t want to be chased
I love people who don’t want my love
I hurt for people who don’t know how to hurt for themselves
I make my own cuts deeper because I can’t help but feel everything for everyone

Words used to be my ally, but now they are something to pass the time
To allow my thoughts to wander
How do you conquer what you can’t say out loud?
I used to think that being emotional made me weak
But learning to speak from my heart has proven to be my greatest strength
Always understanding
Always bleeding for those who refuse to admit that they are holding the blade

I will not apologize for my fragility
My delicacy is anything but a curse
I feel, I feel, and I feel
I hurt, I cry, and I’m still
Breathing
I’m teaching myself resilience
For there will be a day when the burdens I carry will overwhelm me
They will try to drown me in sorrow,
Take advantage of my kindness, my softness
But there’s a toughness to this rawness
And I am able to overcome

So yes, I do cry during weddings and over little things
Like flowers blooming or puppies drooling
I get upset when I can’t make someone happy
And I’ll gladly offer myself in the place of someone’s death
I let my heart guide me and even when it hurts
I try to always do the right thing

Do not confuse being fragile with being weak
Two sides of the same coin don’t always spend equally