What kind of paradise am I looking for,
When I’m rich in love, and wealth I am poor?

My mind is so ******* empty,
But I remain to be one of the friendly,
Acting as if there is nothing wrong,
But, really my arms are my way to play this sad song.

Hurry up and tear me up,
I’m slowly waiting for death….yup.

I do not fear falling in love. I am in love with many things. My family, friends, animals, sunsets, the ocean, the sky. I love these things easily and never fear loving them with my whole heart. What I do fear is falling so deeply in love with someone and investing my life into theirs only to discover that they do not feel the same way about me. To me, that is how you die while still breathing. You can never recover from that no matter how hard you try. The scariest part about it is that you’re never going to know if you’re falling for the wrong person. That is what I fear.

I watch from the outside
because I cannot seem to move
towards smiling faces, laughing.
I stand here with something to prove.

A poetry reading, a crowded pub,
even just a trip to the local store
are mountains that stand before me,
over which I achingly long to soar.

Home has beccome my sanctuary,
imprisoning me in my shell.
Alone I find my inner peace,
alone I find my inner hell.

This duality is laughable,
paradoxically holding me in stasis.
I have the ability to act
but my potential is simply wasted.

At their mere thought of people,
I sweat profusely, my heart pounds
and no matter what I do
I cannot seem to calm myself down.

What am I supposed to do?
How do I change what I feel?
How can I convince myself
that the fears I have are not real?

i could scream for hours on end and you still wouldn't look at me.
even in a room full of people, all corners of my heart feel empty.
it's gotten almost impossible to feel your words that have so much into them.
for me,
my heart and my soul and my body is tired of fighting.
there's blisters and bruises that cover my body from fighting demons that will always cling to my arms.
at the bottom of this well,
i can't see the sky that's given me hope.
there seems to be no light left and it's moments like these where i regret staying for this long,
it's moments like these where i'm positive that i shouldn't be here.

GOD says to me with a kind
of smile, "Hey how would you like
to be God awhile And steer the world?"
"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.

Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?"

"Gimme back that wheel," says GOD.
"I don't think you're quite ready YET."

Sometimes when I sit in airports
It ignites my passions
It’s like all of the laughs and sorts
Come down crashin

But when I see all the places I could go
I can’t help but excite
I think of all the things I’ll know
I look at the plane and see my light