im not going to let
this go to "yesterday" status
though ill probably write this tomorrow

why would you do that
cut me off of all the terribly wonderful things i have to tell you
this stopped being a poem a stanza ago
i have been working for this
a chatter
failing all the while
with a blessing
never been mine
or yours

ill meet you in the morning
when you are grouchy
bitter
and i
and i am hung WAY the **** over
in fact
i woke up
waiting for you

to be moody
to chance what im getting now
i woke up to
harass you
to make you hate the whole thing
ill stick that badge on my skin
pierced for the first time
ill do it
take me

soon then right?
ill take you with me
again,
where are we going?

The warmth of the hearth,
Invites you to come out of your shell.

Waves sweep over skin tone grains.
Rolled in the current of sweet sweat,
Green seaweed sheets tangle our legs.

White shows,
as shy pearls are exposed.
You wear them the best between coal ribbon.
Caps of a dress
drowning blue bones,
Falls to the shore.

Embrace in her nourishment.
Drag your nails across the valley of pale dirt.
Plant a trail of pink hearts close to hers.
Stain her soil with your blood,
Under the rain of gold.

Lets create colors in oil
On these blank canvas bodies
of earth.

This got old need to feel brand new
Only if you knew too bad I'm out
Your clues are nothing new
Told you once told you twice don't read mind
Not a great combination together
Once mixed but a one time thing
You complain and I'm mean
Make a scene you know my feelings don't mean anything
Want me back there no going back only moving forward
You cross the line that's fine
Back to walking the line no need you told it'd over
You don't want to be mine free from you ill be fine

She loved art
And she breathed
And ate
And slept art
And she radiated art
And art was her life

And we
All loved her
One hundred percent
And every
Girl
Was her
Best friend

And the priest
Doing the funeral
Hadn't met her.
But her parents
Paid him like he had.

And they told the priest
"She loved art
And she breathed
And ate
And slept art.
And she radiated art.
And art was her life."

And so that was what he
Told the
Congregation.


But when
A quiet person like her
Dies
No one ever finds out
That she
Hated art
But
In fact
She loved Forensic Science.

You tell us to
Spread
The
Word
To
End
The
Word

But you mean the word
"*******"

And you think it's mean
Because of
Mental retardation
And how it hurts
Their feelings.


Stop that word.
I won't mind.

Just don't turn around
And call
Him
A
******

You left
For England
Saturday
An it was raining when you left
An when you got back
It rained still.

And you were gone
For one week
Seven days.
Which is five school days
For me to squeeze through geometry
without you
(And
I
Can
Barely
Survive
With
You)

And Sarah asked
For a Union Jack
T-shirt
And told you
Not to forget.

And you brought it
For her
And
Got
Nothing
For
Me

But you told me
"You didn't ask
But if you want something
I'll get it for you
Next time.
I have to go back in
Six to eight weeks"

And I thought
You would have
Bought me something
Not as a
Souvenir
But
As
An
Apology

For leaving my alone
For a week
To live lonely

And yet
You'll go back
To England across the pond
In
Six
To
Eight
Weeks

Sometimes I doubt you're actually going to England.

Sometimes I forget I have a father.

Your car was perfectly warm
with a chill that wouldn't fail.
My hands strong enough to know
not to hold yours frail.
And that bottle of wine haunted us both,
longing for a sip.
Me, like that bottle,
unsafe in your grip.
But anyway,
I drank.
Partially to remind myself of what we'd had before,
but it tasted different,
sipping it became more of a chore.
And you were nervous to be beside me,
I could feel it getting worse,
when you brushed my leg and said sorry
with an uncomfortable amount of force.
It's okay
I remind you
it's just me.
Quick to fill the silence I reached for a CD,
but no track seems to fit the mood.
All of our favorites sounded wrong,
too much tension in every song.
Fumbling through the tracks,
I ignored the breeze
to fill the unending silence,
of friends turned lovers turned enemies.
And before I could muster a new conversation,
a tear hit my lap,
because between me and my best friend,
not even music could fill the hallow gap.

i closed                            my heart                            to lose myself
all the doors                   shut out                             the person
but forgot                       the sound                           i found
to keep                           your mind                          i cracked the lock
the key                           you shared with me         and set us free