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Cheryl Tan Mar 2015
doorbell, 2a.m.,
she stands there in the cold.
wrapped in a dark grey jacket,
and pain and a dying hope.
he opens up, lets her in.
the fire's warmth feels cold.
she starts crying knowing he'll
never love her again if he knew.

if he knew her darkest secrets
kept vaulted from the world;
all the things that she's ashamed of
that incarcerate her soul.
if he knew she knew she was wrong,
yet in weakness carried on,
how could he love her still?
where would that love come from?

but he opens her heart like a letter,
and reads it inside out.
then, in silent darkness holds her,
until no more tears streak down.
"i've loved you from the beginning,"
he says, and lifts a ***** silver plate.
he wipes it with his white t-shirt,
and with it clean, she sees her face.
"i love everything about you
amidst the mistakes you made
and now i know all that you've done
i love you more, i do," he says.
"i'll wipe all your ***** silver plates;
all the heartbreaks and the shame."
she smiles now, she understands:
she's white as snow, she's not the same.

he sees her to the door now,
as the midnight snow falls down.
he's wiped the darkness off her;
she knows where love comes from.
the snow does not feel cold now;
the cold was from her soul.
"go now," he says, "and when you fall,
you can always
come back
home."

-c.t.
{{as far as the east is from the west}}

thank you.
  Mar 2015 Cheryl Tan
AJ Mayfield
If you should go before me,

I’ll re-read every line you ever wrote to me,

every thought we shared so late at night,

the daily noise of our existence,

condensed into keystrokes by weary fingers

I’ll see, in every moonlit glade,
and every time 
there are no shadows in the trees,
that special light that always made you shine,

like bright little stars suspended in a globe filled with oil,
shimmering with delight and forgiveness,

waiting patiently to climb the wick

and burn my fingers when I strike the match


And I’ll hear your music,
which you never knew I listened to,

not with my ears, but with my heart,

and it will soothe me to dreamless slumber

when tears soak my pillow in endless twilight


I’ll remember every hungered kiss and every time
you found me hiding under our oak and scolded me
for putting off the work I should have been doing

I won’t put it off any longer
There’ll be nothing left for me but work
All the world gone grey, the mists
 of my memories
like a blanket
 smothering my tomorrows

But I won’t leave when you have gone

I will pay the tab for the time you gave,
finish everything we planned that autumn morn,
before I lock the gate behind me,
and follow breadcrumbs scattered on the loam
  Mar 2015 Cheryl Tan
Eunice Amor Oh
i don't want to fall in love
because i'd rather say that
-
love digs its hands deep into the dirt to plant its roots,
to give false hope to the weaklings of mankind that requite is truly attainable
that love lies in the tears of our galvanised hearts, attacking the cracks of our fissured craniums
reminding us of our (now) inexorable incarceration
that love creates waveforms between fragile persons, in its attempt to orchestrate some sort of perfect dissonance
that love declares 'i am in control' (and makes us believe so)
to toy with the pieces left of our already tortured souls.
and that love only breaks us whole,
when our holes were what broke us first
-
than say love was "made" for me and you
;
because to fall in love would mean
falling
(onto your chest to remind me of what we had)
which would be a deathtrap on its own
one i would shamefully not regret
Cheryl Tan Mar 2015
You are
Not defined by a number
On a scale or on a card.
Not the likes on social media,
Nor what the world thinks you are.

You are
The pain in all your teardrops,
The laugh in every smile.
The times you failed but tried again,
The hope in every sigh.
You're found
In people whom you love,
And the ones who love you too.
In memories you hold so close-
In light, in love, and truth.
There's you
In that which you call home,
Where home embraces you;
Where you store your hopes and dreams,
And pain and sorrow too.
There's you
In all that you regret,
In the shame you hide away;
But remember that all that has
Made you who you are today.

I've found
This world has one huge flaw:
It speaks lies, proclaiming truth;
It's poisoned you to think that you
Can be measured, made, and used.

So darling I pray you'll see today:
True beauty lies within.
Don't let yourself define you by
Numbers or cuts on your skin.

You are
More than my words can ever say;
There's so much to a heart
More than the world will understand-
There's more to who
You are.

-c.t.
{i wish you could see how beautiful you are to me}

So smile. Because all that you are is all that's enough.
  Mar 2015 Cheryl Tan
DC raw love
If I talk with the tongues of men and even of angels, but if I do not love people, then I am only like the sound of a big horn or a loud bell.

If I speak words from God, if I can understand all secrets, and know everything, if I can move mountains by believing, but if I do not love people, I am nothing, even though I can do all of these things.

If I give away all I have, and if I give my body to be burned, but if I do not love people, I get nothing out of it.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. Love is not proud and does not boast.

Love does not do things that are not nice. Love does not just think of itself.

Love does not get angry. Love holds no wrong feelings in the heart.

Love is not glad when people do wrong things. But it is always glad when they do right.

Love forgives everything. Love is always trusting, and always hoping, and never gives up.

Love never ends. The gift of speaking words from God will end. The gift of speaking in different tongues or languages will stop. The gift of knowing many things will end.

Now we know only a little, and we can speak only a little of God's words.
But when everything becomes perfect, that part will come to an end.

When I was a child, I talked like a child. I understood like a child. I thought like a child. But when I became a man, I stopped doing things like a child.

Now it is like looking in a looking-glass which does not make things clear.

We cannot see and understand things plainly. But when things become perfect, then we shall fully know and understand everything, just as God knows.

These three things will remain for ever. They are faith, hope, and love. And love is the greatest of them.
1 CORINTHIANS: 13
  Mar 2015 Cheryl Tan
Ethan Titus
Flying through the sky with our wings spread
There is naught that we should dread
Our hearts still pure, how long can we endure?
Remain a child in faith and heart
Growing up brings only pain,
As life goes on our spirits drain
The enemy, is drawing near
Lion a lion, he'll pounce from the rear
He seeks to devour all that he may
With the Lord at your side, speak "Not today."
  Mar 2015 Cheryl Tan
A Love For Hatred
Will you love me when I'm 80
When I walk and talk real slow?
Will you love my wrinkles
If I let them show?
Will you hold me every night
And kiss me in the morning light?
And when I see my last sunrise
Will you hold me when I die?
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