The rain tapping it's fingers at my window,
Wondering if it could sing me to sleep.


Only, I wish that rain was you.

I am a paradox
I love flowers, but I am not the kind of girl that you give them to.
I come alive at night, yet I'm afraid of the dark.
I am a messy person, but I like for things to be clean.
I have much to say, and say nothing at all.
I feel the need to run far, but despise running.
I am easily hurt yet I won't let you close enough to do that.
I have a wild heart trapped in a cage.
I am full of love but I won't give it anymore.
I love blue eyes yet I fell for brown.
I miss you but I don't wish for you.
I prefer being alone yet I hate being lonely.
I am complicated but easy to figure out.
I am neon pink yet prefer navy.
I am full, but I am still not filled.

1.** I have loved you since November, I've tried to stop, I can't.
2. I have never met a person like you, a person that can make me feel in slow motion. A person that can embody art, you are like watercolor sunsets and the smell of daisies.
3. I can't help but blush and smile and act like a bubbly schoolgirl on a Friday.
I can't help but get lost in your clothes, your hair, your laugh, your smile, your smell.
I know, I know it's mad, but I've found that I just get lost in you.
4. I remember when we were talking about you and your life and you asked me about mine. I really wanted to hold your hand, I didn't. I remember when we talked about aesthetics in class and I thought of you, because I find you so lovely. I remember talking about space and feelings and how you felt like an alien; I said I felt the same.
5. I remember seeing you and being immediately captivated, I remember sharing feelings and feeling so understood. I will always remember the comfort I feel when I'm around you. I may be alien, I may be foreign, I may be unidentified, but I have the universe to come home to. I have you to romanticize and use fancy words with, I remember when you said I was out of this world, the illest. I corrected you with, "If I am, then so are you, we're etherealists."

flawed to near insanity
but long as you could hold down a job then its alright
isn't that a wise policy she asked
i'm not so sure
watching the clowns strut their stuff
in the midnight sun
they are reckless to be certain but self aware to a fault
just makes it all the more bizarre
watch em go at it with each other over the simplest thing
its no way to live
you can vouch for the living as long as you haven't died
and this madness is just shy of being in a pine box
so darling lets get outa this crazy place
get away from the thinking
that you gotta be like everybody else
get away from the plastic hippie rat-race
roll down the easy highway
find us some sweet sunshine to breath in
find us a better life to be

I hope
    one day
        you'll see me
              and think
"why did i let her go."