The rain tapping it's fingers at my window,
Wondering if it could sing me to sleep.


Only, I wish that rain was you.

I miss you.
I miss your hands being tangled between mine.
Your smile
Your hugs
Your kisses
I miss your voice
I miss when you sang to me
I miss when you teased me
I miss how intimate we used to be.
I miss our five hour long talks about what we liked and what we didn't.
I miss looking into your eyes and seeing how beautiful they are.
I miss making you smile.
I miss you when you would make me smile when I was in the darkest parts of my mind.
I miss hearing the "I love you" whispers when I was 'asleep' when you would stay the night.
I miss wrapping my arms around you so tightly, I felt like you'd break.
I was stupid for pushing you so far away, when all you were doing was trying to get in and help me.
I know you don't want me.
You don't want anyone.
I hope I can make you happy again, someday.
I still love you, no matter what you do.
You'll always have a place in my heart.
-L.G.

Here’s a scream
that I’ve kept hidden inside
drowned down with two aspirin
to sleep through the night.
Little waiting, little wishing,
little ***** me over
while we’re kissing.

Your kisses
felt like spider bites
at the end,
injecting poison
to numb me
from inevitable
pain.

I am nowhere,
Not here,
Not there,
I exist as an object,
defined by my appearance,
My mask,
I drown in my sorrows,
I weep for my fears,
Rains of painful tears,
I am not here,
Nor there.
I am empty.
I am the living dead.
-Lydia Gordon