I never used to look at my friends like flowers
Never thought they could be plucked out
Before, I danced in my imagination
With the word ‘forever’ sketched into every blade of grass
I used to close my eyes and smile
Because every part of the world I was involved in seemed
Just right
The pieces of my puzzle just fit together
But when you remove a flawed piece
It doesn’t keep it as a whole
But keeps it with a hole instead
You can’t build a brick wall without bricks
Or a chain without links
Air doesn’t act like glue
And the pit in my stomach
Can’t be fixed without you
The thought of you not here
Is like a movie playing in an empty theatre
Shoes hung up on a telephone wire
This is a poem because white noise doesn’t fill
It just leaves a light buzz in your ears
The anticipation of a rock being thrown into water
And waiting
Waiting
Waiting for a noise that won’t come
Waiting for your seat at the back of the class
To be sat in
Waiting for jokes to be funny again
For someone’s hug to feel the same
Waiting for the space made by you
And your absence
To be filled again

He looked at me like my eyes were adventures
Like the stories inside
Were just like the ones he flipped through as a kid
Like my secrets were scripts
I was planned out and he was just along for the ride
for the story
When he looked at me
I could feel him digging
trying to find al the things i was going to hide
remove everything that flawed me
At least that's what he thought

Before him I had no wall
But when he asked me about the scars on my wrist
The wall around me went up
Shutting the door to my eyes
Sewing my mouth back shut
because I knew
for me to explain the truth
He would try to remove it from inside me
My heart in my chest would be torn from its cage
and through my mouth
Taking it as if it was on my sleeve
because he thought this would be the best for me
He would try to wash away my scars
unknowing of the new ones he created inside
I put a wall up because I didn't want him to see me
Or try to
Because when he asked why I didn't like the colour of my hair
The ocean of my eyes
burned like a forest fire
They burned inside of me
to a crisp
As if he wanted a fresh start so he cleared me out
Like I could be removed like his story book
but he left me with ash and ruins instead
Just a shell of what I was
Because when he asked why I didn't like my thighs
I bent my legs
and covered them with my arms
As if he thought talking about it would make me see
"what he saw"
As if I'd forget the feel of them rubbing together
dotted with brown
Like my mind would forget my waist
shoulders
all my imperfections of my reflection

Because when he asked why I smoke
or drink
or any form of drugs
Why I'd stop eating
or would throw up
I just smiled
And words spilled from his mouth about life and death
About lessons and tales people had told him
because he had never experienced them himself
never would
As hard as he tried
we would never see eye to eye
I know if I handed him my pen
He'd rewrite my story
but that's my adventure
and what makes my eyes glow

He looked at me like my eyes were adventures
Like stories he heard as a child
But when he found out was was hidden between the lines
He set those books alight
and tossed my heart in with them too
But I grabbed it before the flames engulfed it completely

Carve your words into the back of my neck
With the breathe of your voice
Feed it through my blood
Sew me back up
Because until then
You haven’t really known me
And I won't believe a word you have said

For all we know, we only have one life to live.
One life to make all of our dreams come true, travel the world and leave no regrets.
Only one life to spend time with the ones you love, do what you want, be who you are.
So why is it that we’re all stuck?
Stuck in these walls of society
Why is it that every time we aspire to be who we are, stand out from the crowd, be a little weird or different; that we can’t.
And why is it that these twisted thoughts are filling our minds about who we “should be” or who we should “want to be?”
When was it decided that being you isn’t always okay?
Our world is full of cookie cutter “perfection”
Full of fake people wandering the streets like robots
Walking around in the same clothes, having the same style, same personality, same ambitions, same dreams… Originality is gone.
What happened to following your dreams?
I’ll tell you what might have happened,
Someone that you once looked up to, an adult in your life told you that the world wasn’t your own playground
And they told you exactly what you have to be like to fit in
And in those seconds, they lit your dreams on fire and made you watch them burn to the ground.
And that one person that you trusted so much flipped the switch that made you into another robot
Just like everyone else
Another cookie cutter
Another cardboard cut out
Just those words changed you into the person you once promised yourself you’d never become.
But I dare to disagree on being “perfect”.
I dare to disagree on society’s creation of what girls and guys should be.
I dare to disagree that being different is bad.
Be true to you; stand out.
Where your rain boots in the sun, dance around and sing as you go.
Because we’ve all created this vision of who we need to be
Even if it doesn’t make us happy
A world where young people walk around school hallways hurting each other
Hurting themselves to fit into the standards of others
Hating everything about them that makes them beautiful.
Makes them special
Wanting to change more than anything
Because, every now and again society flips a switch and the rules change
And you’re never good enough.
From trial and error over and over again most of us have figured out that it’s physically impossible to be perfect.
And why should we ever try to be?
I dare to disagree that you’re not perfect.
Actually, I’m not going to just dare to disagree, I refuse to say that each one of us isn’t perfect in our own way.
Each dorky laugh and snort
Every smile and giggle
And if you ever need motivation that it’s okay to be yourself
Go back to preschool and read Dr. Seuss
Because for most of us
since you were old enough to imagine
He was there telling us that it’s okay to be special and quirky
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
Fill the pages, and
“Today you are you, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive that is youer than you!”
So go out in different coloured socks
Smile a bit
But also think,
It’s not just you
It’s not just you at all
Almost everyone is trying to fit in and find ways to be himself or herself
And be happy
So open up your mind
Accept people for who they are
“We have to dare to be ourselves,
However frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
Don’t listen to mom, dad, teacher, coach, friends about how to live your life
Because that’s the thing
It’s YOUR life
And as a wise poet once said
“Be who you are and say what you feel
Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”