it’s because it’s pouring
in my heart. If you don’t see
the pain in my eyes it’s because
the shades are drawn. They’ve

had to be to live in my
reality. If you don’t hear a word
from me it’s because my tongue is
tied inside my cheeks. If I don’t reach out

to you it’s because my shoulders
have fallen from the weight I’ve been
carrying along with me. You can take
stabs and guesses but you’ll never know

what it’s like to be me.

Why am I like this?
Constant chaos and pain,
If only I could go back,
There's a lot I would change.

I would never stop dreaming,
Of a brighter and richer life,
I would never stop smiling,
Despite the inevitable strife,

And I swear to ******* god,
Most of this is my fault,
I chose this life for a reason unknown,
With my heart stuck in the vault,

When I feel hurt I hide away,
Caused by my Cancer moon,
Maybe my life would be different,
If trauma wasn't present so soon,

Everything happens for a reason right?
At least that's what I want to believe,
Because I don't know how much more I can take,
Before I set my soul free.