and suddenly
everything i wanted for you
comes true
but in the process
i gave up me
and now you have you
so there you are
you're happy, strong, independent.
but who am i now
after giving it all up for you

I’m sick of myself
Disgusted
Feels like the floors slanted
My heads light
Symptoms of what I assume
proceed passing out
I wish I would pass out
A brief break from my own suffering
Self created of course
Is there any other kind?
So I feel more sick
cause not only am I self deprecating.
I know I am self deprecating.
Isn’t this the definition of stupid
Or insane?
Or something that I should change immediately.
What do you call lessons that go unlearned?
Mistakes? Regrets?
Cause I have a lot.
Yet to know they hold the value of lessons
Lessons I thought I learned
Yet I still look back on them
with a shame so thick
I leave a trail wherever I go
So everyone points and says
“She did it”
Cause how could I not
Surely the snail left the trail
Yet I have no home on my back
Snail shells are beautiful
But without them we’re just slugs

we break our hearts
at the possibility of our hearts breaking

they say true love is unconditional.
so who's lying
them or you?

Isn't this strange?
Two strangers touching strangers skin
Your fingers glide over my expansive flesh
Raising goosebumps where they left

Doesn't this feel good? You say,
Two strangers touching strangers skin
Yes it does, I whisper
As we try to wrap our bodies closer

You cling to me
Two strangers touching strangers skin
We breathe together, gazes locked
I love yous should be on our lips

But we only just met
Two strangers touching strangers skin
Perhaps we simulate the stranger,
The one we wish we were really with

Your skin is a glow in warm yellow light
Two strangers touching strangers skin
Careful of the romantics of your body in candlight
After all, we were strangers at the beginning of the night.

all this time i've been looking to be whole,
instead of being one with my emptiness

kiss away my loneliness
**** on my sadness with your lips
use your hands to stroke my desperation
and don't leave me till the sun comes up

when I can see everything
and see it's not so bad
but when the cold winter night falls
and loneliness creeps in with the chills

come to me
come in me
make me feel like i'm bigger than the minuscule
ant i am

make me feel warmer by breathing your light into me
make me forget that the dark has its secrets, just
until the bed is white washed in a frost bitten morning