Sometimes
when you're sleeping and I can't
sleep,
my mind races.
There are things you don't know
about me.

My hand
on your shoulder and traveling
down.
You notice
and turn around and smile
at me.

It's your
half-asleep, eyes-closed smile, those
red
red lips that
will keep me forever
silent.

I am a pit
You left me an emotionless object
All my life
Is gone
All my confidence
Is gone
All of my will
Gone

My reason to smile at little things
The constant subconscious beaming
The sweet smelling secrets
****** out of me
With a vengeful heartless twist
Of the sharpest dagger of all
The words that I swore
Would never be formed from your lips
That once loved me so tenderly
Or so I thought

I find myself driving at night
Fighting a war
But then I realize
I'm a pit

that girl you see? with the big blue eyes?
she's in the middle of a war with herself.
she was known as the girl who went in her car everyday for lunch simply to write.
you see her?
she's the girl who holds a mask in front of her face
and if you were to look behind it
you would be shocked.
that girl, that girl loves .
she L O V E S.
and if she loves you
then ****, you have got to be something special.
that girl is the one with depression and anxiety.
who has dealt with things you wouldn't even imagine.
she's that girl with the love for life
despite the fact that life has tried to turn her dark and grey.
that girl shines
that girl shines colors you've never seen before.
that girl is the one who is messy and unorganized but it's okay with her.
she's the girl with an ordinary face, but an extraordinary heart.
she's that girl that will apologize for the mess after you rip her to shreds.
that girl has a strange love for bears and the outdoors.
and has dreamt of the mountains all of her life.
she's from the small town where she was being swallowed.
and trust?
trust is not something that girl can do easily.
she has walls so strong that you wouldn't believe.
with a never ending for stargazing
because it reminds her each night that there is beauty everywhere
even if it is hidden sometimes.

yeah. that girl.

ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE WHO SHOW-OFF, CAUSING OTHERS PAIN?  DO YOU TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL, CHOOSING TO ACT INSANE?
DO YOU STAND OUT IN THE HALLWAY, IN FRONT OF A LARGE CROWD?  YOU CHOOSE TO PICK ON THE SMALLEST GUY, BELITTLING  HIM, SPEAKING REALLY LOUD?
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO BE HEARD?  YOU SEEM TO GET EXCITEMENT, OUT OF EVERY FILTHY AND HURTING WORD.
DO YOU FIND ENJOYMENT, OUT OF MAKING PEOPLE CRY.  YOU MAKE THEM FEEL SO BAD, THEY WANT TO CURL UP AND DIE.
STOP CAUSING PEOPLE PAIN, THEY ARE HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU.  IF YOU WERE TREATED JUST LIKE THEM, WHAT WOULD BE THE FIRST THING YOU DO?
BY, AUTHOR & POET, SANDRA JUANITA NAILING

Silence is not keeping quiet
because you have nothing
to say...

Silence is having a lot
to say but no desire
to speak...