I am a pessimist and I’m not proud of that
Whether said to me verbally but mostly my own thoughts.
“You are fat, you are stupid, you are worthless.”
My thoughts whisper in my head,
“All you do is bring problems, your whole existence is a flaw.”
These words are on repeat every minute of every day.
“You are lazy, irresponsible and a hypocrite.”
Voices getting louder in my head,
Engraving words that hurt worse than physical wounds
I would rather cut myself a thousand times
Than hear these words like bullets shot through my heart
“You don’t deserve love, you are nothing but trouble.”
I crumble inside each word like a knife
“You are a quitter not even worth a dime.”
The voices grow louder and louder,
I wrack my brain to make it stop,
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, SHUT. UP!
Insecurities drown me, I can’t breathe
Walls block me from asking help,
Walls I built myself thinking it would protect me,
“You are ugly, you are worthless, you are NOTHING.”
Voices on repeat…