i am scared to find the
person i'll have to become
when you're not around
any
more

(so
much
of
me
is
you)

Here we are lined up like ******* ants on pavement,
and I've been alienated before, but
never so collectedly. So familiar.
Here we are making small talk and
suddenly I feel useless, or Caucasian, you know;
how you may be something, but certain times
you may inhale too deeply and
feel it. Maybe I felt it earlier...
That type of feeling where, albeit "familiarity",
if I could be in two places at once,
I still wouldn't be here.
Strangers on my welcome mat,
and I just can't close
the ******* door.
It's probably because I don't live here.
Chit-chat and I have nothing to say,
so I'd say anything just to see if you'd
put me on the outside, treat me
like a stranger, or pretend I really
belong here.
The Welcome Party!;
yet I can already tell I don't belong,
I'm unwelcome, I shouldn't be
here.

Wasting space, carbon, and air.
Wanted to tell everyone a story,
but forgot the punchline.
Typically, every story has a punchline,
didn't you know?
Rough crowd or bad joke?
Chest pains, failing organs,
and trying to age "gracefully".
Trying to grow old and die
like a feather gently falling
into a pile of ****;
Swaying in the wind
and wishing for dignity.
We are.
It makes sense, from a distance
in warm light, starlight, bar light.
Pride is really for the young,
but you don't have to be young
to lose your pride. Doesn't matter.
Failing organs and personalities.
**** do we deserve this.
I don't have much faith in my neighbors,
and they probably think I'm a sociopath.
We're all part of a species
that commits genocide and
calls it war.
Wasting space, carbon, and air.

Do not fall in love with me
I will turn every empty second into a overanalyzed thought
I will fill the spaces between our heartbeats with lovesongs emitted from my fingertips
I will make your words into poetry
Recite them over and over until they are tattooed on your skin
I will make your lips a sacred temple and send my prayers through kisses
Your body will become my garden where i will plant myself roots up
Intertwine my vines with yours
I will call you the sun
Your breath will become my air and I will use you to photosynthesize
I will forget that I am not a tree
And you are not my forest
I will forget that we are only human
So do not fall in love with me
Unless you are willing
To love the details.

Glaring vacantly into the ceiling, I am wondering what's true,
I need to stop reliving my past to settle a life without you.

It's not easy to forget all and take a new start,
With all those memories I planted in the soil of my heart.

I had painted a whole life with you under my eyelid,
And it's just as if I am leaving a storybook in the mid.

You have become another shard in my brain that aches me,
I was a blind fool misled by your simpler of gestures but now I can see.

Forsaken nature, effigy of happiness
Radiate in sunlight
Totem to the angel of Thanatos
We, entrenched
Bespoke emotions motivate
Harbinger of stupor
Potions point skyward
Circle of sticks
Drunk with madness, archaic/futurist
A belief in life
Moving in all directions, we breathe
Levitate tables
Combed, picked and sedated
Suppress with cotton
Impress the forgotten, bathed in meat
Drowning, trickled lists, dictate infinite
Omnipotent
Radical analysts
Broken adequate
Sirens to soothe sanctum
Toothless, pews and bare footed priests
Clogged with irreverence
Confusion of the afterlife
The one with bleach stained hands
On one knee, counterpart, gone, integral
Ghost babel, patriot of purpose
Purgatory swine
A costume to cleanse Virgil
Telescopes & ritual apathy
Broken bones, oxycodones
Entrance to ozone
Deficit sadly, intrinsic in photo
Delicate, diphenhydramine dreams
Pearlescent  head
Ballooned shadows of paranoia
Fingers full of glue
Toxic shock
Risen thought, gaining pace
Emerging victorious
Whisped in black smoke
Mortal & pestle
White pills, insomnia
Perfect ratio
Golden and numeric
Pleasant, unintentional hero
White matter of fact
Carcass of industry
Severed cerebellum dotted in sentence
Coalition of morbid interest
Cryptozoology, mermaids and taxidermy
Not one leg to stand on
Held in high regard
Tranquil morals