In the heartbeat she gave me,
would i give all to thee
once more.

THE PILLS THEY GAVE ME AREN'T MAKING YOU GO AWAY TONIGHT, YOU'RE STILL HERE AND AT TIMES I WONDER IF I ONLY PUT YOU AWAY TO TAKE YOU BACK OUT ON NIGHTS LIKE THESE, I'M SO ******* IN LOVE WITH YOU IT HURTS MY CHEST, EVERYTHING'S BLURRY AND I MISS YOU AND I CAN'T FEEL MY INSIDES, IS THIS WHAT FALLING OUT OF LOVE FEELS LIKE, SOMETIMES I THINK OUR FIRST LOVE STAYS WITH US FOREVER AND WE'RE JUST SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE TO FULFILL THAT SPACE BUT WE'LL NEVER FIND THEM BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST, I FEEL LIKE JUST YESTERDAY I LOST YOU, I LOVED YOU TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY

forgetting you? cannot do it with a sober mind. 
I'd rather fall into a drug induced coma than try to forget you with all my pieces intact, my mind intact, my heart in place. 
I want to feel forgetting as a cathartic emotion than a numbing aid. 
I don't want to feel you. I feel you through the nothingness and it is overwhelming. 
weeping willows weeping willows. weeping in the rain the wind carrying the weeping willows as they sing. my heart weeping for you. my willow you. 
drug induced coma; forgetting her ; without the nothingness..

You’re consumed by attention 

that is not mine. 

You don’t need a bit of me.

I thought

I hated you

then

A day came when

the fear of losing you

made me realize

I did'nt