Inspiration…
It visits me at the most random times,
In many forms

Some days it comes in the form of inner turmoil,
A storm.
Emotions bubble and brew near the brim of my heart,
Begging to be spilled onto a page
And inspiration comes and sets them free

Some days it comes as a thorn on a rose
Sweet memories turned sour,
A painful reminder of what was,
And what could never be, again

Some days it comes as a song,
My mind circling in thought, spinning out the lyrics
Random melodies dancing with my brainwaves
These songs are fleeting, however
They leave quicker than fireflies,
So I must capture them in a jar
In order to remember what my mind sung

Some days, inspiration comes in form of sap dripping from the tree
It moves way too slowly for my liking
Like a snail sluggishly making its way away from the sun
But the struggle feels like a salmon swimming upstream

Inspiration…
When it comes knocking on my door
I let my stories out of the cage that they’re stored

I've never had someone who wanted me around
Past close friends were left to drown
The closest ones brought me to the ground
How much more can I take?

I either dive too deep or the friendship's shallow
My life's too sheltered, been living in a bubble
I feel so ******* replaceable
When will someone choose me?

I just wanna be someone's first choice
But more than anything I wanna be ok
I don't wanna feel like a waste of space
Where is my person?

I don't wanna be played
I don't want anyone else to go away
But I can't force anyone to stay

Seeing my importance fade
As they find someone else to play with
I feel like dying and decaying
How long do I have to spend chasing
Over hearts that will never choose me
When will someone choose me?

How much can I take?
I just wanna be someone's first choice
But more than anything I wanna be ok
Too many friendships left to waste
I don't wanna suffer another heartbreak

Last first days, time ticking
My time at high school falling
I should savor the moment
Live in the present
Before it all turns to dust

But how can I feel okay
When you're weren't here to stay?
You said I'll be fine and that I should be happy

I feel so disconnected
I'm going through the motions
And I don't know where I'm going

All my relationships feel meaningless
Can't compare them to what we had
Everything is changing so fast

Fighting, waves of the past, drowning
Screaming, but no one is listening
The world without you is so, overwhelming

I wish I weren't this complicated
I wish I could just live in the present
But my mind keeps going back to you
Without you nothing makes sense....

Guess I'll just keep feeling disconnected
And going through the motions
And not know where I'm going

Feeling like all my relationships are meaningless
Can't compare them to what we have
And face the fact
That you, and everything is changing too fast

We were so innocent, so pure, our eyes shine like stars
Looking in the mirror, our eyes shine like stars

We loved what we saw from the bottom of our feet to the top
We sparkled with much pride and had hearts that shine like stars

But we heard what we should look like, we saw models
With sparkling gems and gowns that shine like stars

We look at the judgements of others, then at ourselves
With a cruel gleaming glare that shine like stars

But love, you don't need to fit in a box of beauty to be worthy
You have come so far, look at yourself, rekindle that pride, you shine like stars

Was I just a puppet to you?
A simple pawn to your game?
Was my heart just your playground or the targets in your shooter's range?
Were those "dates" just a way to keep me blind from all your *******?
Was I just a simple flask for your little experiment?

You put on quite the show, you were quite the actress
You made "I love you" sound believable
Oh, how sad that this play had to end in a tragedy
Now the curtains close even though I thought the show was going to go on for eternity
I really thought that you were going to choose me
But our love was just a fantasy

I'm still in denial, seems like it's been a while
Even though it's only been 2 days
I'm losing sleep, I'm not eating
My whole body's shaking from this heartbreak

I want to stay but I'm losing faith
From the way you played my heartstrings
The hope that I was the one is gone
I guess I can congratulate you and say "well done"
You stabbed my trust with your thorns
You trampled my roses that I grew for you
I'm walking away, I'm not your toy
Go find someone else, go have fun with your new boy

Different faces, different places
Different stages, different people chased
But it always ends the same old way
Broken glass and broken hearts
Something taken, Something lost
Never to return, forever gone

I build up walls conceal how I feel
Protect my heart with plates of steel
I swear an oath never to succumb to love
To surround myself with ice, to not trust the dove
So that my bleeding heart may heal after what they have done
What they have taken, what they have stole
What they have forsaken, the hurt that they bestowed upon my soul

My warm heart is now a heart of stone
My open doors are now closed
My living blood runs cold in my veins
For I am too tired to play more games