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O mother!
It is I, I your son.
I never did outrun
the death waiting for me.
Destiny, Martyr to be…

O mother!
I thought of you only
when javelins pierced me.
The memory of your eyes.
Had made me smile in disguise.

O mother!
I lay there helplessly.
My friends could not help me.
But your prayer was enough.
It kept helping me stay tough.

O mother!
The blood kept boiling out.
I let out a low shout.
It was your blood after all,
ran off me like waterfall.

O mother!
With final hiccup I
drowned into darkest sky.
Now I’m sure you’re proud of me.
I know I made you happy.

O mother!
Is this not what you want?
Is it not what you crave?
Your martyr is taking your
Guidance with him to his grave.

O mother!
When I was a child, I thought,
Casually, that solitude
Never needed to be sought.
Something everybody had,
Like nakedness, it lay at hand,
Not specially right or specially wrong,
A plentiful and obvious thing
Not at all hard to understand.

Then, after twenty, it became
At once more difficult to get
And more desired - though all the same
More undesirable; for what
You are alone has, to achieve
The rank of fact, to be expressed
In terms of others, or it's just
A compensating make-believe.

Much better stay in company!
To love you must have someone else,
Giving requires a legatee,
Good neighbours need whole parishfuls
Of folk to do it on - in short,
Our virtues are all social; if,
Deprived of solitude, you chafe,
It's clear you're not the virtuous sort.

Viciously, then, I lock my door.
The gas-fire breathes. The wind outside
Ushers in evening rain. Once more
Uncontradicting solitude
Supports me on its giant palm;
And like a sea-anemone
Or simple snail, there cautiously
Unfolds, emerges, what I am.
 Dec 2014 Josh Koepp
PamelaH
By 7pm I will get dressed in my night gown
And leave the window open
Like some corny movie form the 70’s
I will hope you climb through my window and make love to me

By 8:30 I might turn on the news and mute the TV just to pretend I care about the world

At 9 I will turn my phone off, after checking 337 times if you have texted back
When suddenly realizing you have not
I will open the bottle of wine that’s hidden in my closet

By 10:30 I will probably be too drunk to realize I am drunk
So I will turn my phone back on
And realize love life is lacking
Or life at all

By 11 you will have turned your phone off
Probably annoyed at woman who keeps ringing
Me

By 11:15 I will surrender into my room
Probably too drunk to stand on my own
I will turn computer on and begin typing

It’s 12:14 now.


Wondering if sheep count drunk women as they fall asleep
 Dec 2014 Josh Koepp
E
The sinking of the mid-afternoon sun has yet to lose its magic, but our eyes are unable to recognize the beauty of this world in our old (enough) age. Our surroundings have not changed, but they have changed us.

We close our eyes, blinded by the sun's reflection in the shallow pools of water on the side of the road. With each car we pass, we are getting farther away from a place we once called home. Shadows stretch from barren tree branches and highway signs trying to hold onto the last light of day, but coming up short.  We all come up short in this life.

Our efforts are never enough to stop this dying planet from spinning around the sun once more, but we still try to at least slow it down so we can finally exhale and let go of the air we've been holding in our blackened lungs since the day we were born

It all moves too fast. One minute you've got your whole life ahead of you, and the next you've somehow ended up stuck in a failing relationship or working a job you hate. You never thought you'd make it past high school, and now you're on your own wishing you hadn't.

We're all just wanting someone to stay up with us on the nights when sleep is the last thing on our minds, but we always end up alone, watching the horizon fade to black. The night sky is starless and as empty as we are. Nothing has changed, but nothing's the same. We didn't grow up to be what we thought we would. The sun sets, but we cannot. We will still be awake to greet it in the morning of the next day of our never ending, meaningless lives.
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