Why drive out the light
When it helps you see
A traveler from afar
Whose rays brighten you heart
Travelling from distant land
Yet to set foot on
Play the happy note
On the strings of nature
Drowns the gloominess
A signature tune
Is birthed in the spotlight
Celebrating the brightness
And welcoming the light
Feel the spark within
That keeps the love burning

"There is a profound difference between actual, physically manifested problems and problems arising from perception. The two are almost always experienced identically, and oftentimes serve to exacerbate each other."

I  remember the day I lost my soul.
And I wish I could explain it better but how exactly do you explain your dignity being stepped on and your innoncence being ripped to shreds?
The details don't matter because they never do.
I just wanted to go back home.
I just wanted to go back twenty minutes and wait for my friend.
I just wanted to go back an eternity and never take my first breath because how can I still be alive when I feel so dead inside?
And I was just a kid, but I grew up twenty years in the space of twenty seconds.
I didn't cry because I was empty.
I didn't scream because my throat was dry.
I thought about flying and the sound my shoes wouldn't have made on the pavement had I had wings.
Then I thought about this guy who'd made wings out of wax in the legend, and how he'd gotten too close to the sun and died.
And I thought maybe I was already dead.
Because my wings were melted and I was already falling down I
Have drowned in oceans deeper than the universe and
Like a heart lost at sea I am a human lost in the billions of lives walking around me
And joking about **** and not realizing their jokes are not funny
Stripping me down to an skeleton, an object to be played with, a mass of skin and bones, a live doll who couldn't get her voice to be heard by people passing by and turning their heads the other way is not funny.
And I don't want to wish you dead
But I can't bear to see you alive
I have suffered a thousand nights
Your words on my skin like a burning fire
Boiling my blood with the anger a 16 year old should never have to feel
I have been walking the walk of shame
Eversince you spit on the floor where you lay my ruined soul and left me to die And maybe one day I won't wake up with the image of you at my throat but for now you poisonned my past so each night I bleed my ink on paper to forget the weight of your body on top of mine
and I can't trust or smile or live the way I did before and I fall asleep each night feeling your shadow breathing down my neck I
Am no longer a blooming flower but a rotten scent like the perfume you were wearing that night I
Am not dead but I don't wish to feel so I sleep and in my dreams I wash my face with your blood and wipe my tears with my courage so I can clear my eyes and watch you as I blink you away you have not won this battle
In my dreams I am the hero and I don't have bruises and marks imprinted on my body because you do not exist in my dreams
But then I wake up and take twenty shattered breaths on my shaking lips and even as I suffocate in a world that doesn't understand my pain I live each day stronger than the next and let your memory fall down the land of oblivion with the hope one day I'll turn around and you'll be gone.
I have hope.

I was told about Hemingway and writing one true thing. Here's today's.

Change is inevitable. Forgive me for not doing it fast enough.

Trading my *****'s cloth
for the raiment of a pilgrim
was the greatest of gifts
from you.

After wandering for years
living on sorrow
and regret
becoming empty as the desert
it was enough to have met you.

I am afraid that we will never be
that which I so fervently wished
no matter how deep my love
may envelope me.

I won't pretend that this
brings me any sort of joy
but if it's the only way
for me to progress
I accept.

I know where I am going now,
have a destination at last
that may or may not
involve companionship with you.

Some day though,
I will reach the place
out beyond Rumi's field
and in that oasis
I will build my Garden.