I can not find Sye
Does anybody know why?
She has been on my mind
Where can I find...
         Sye.

Come home........

As you travel into life's sunset before me,
walk slowly My Love.  
Wait up My Love.
I am not far behind.
Following in the foot steps
you revealed to me
as you My Love
walked in the path to a new day.
Watch for me. For I am coming.
It won't be long now til
we are hand in hand again.

I am an American.
Proud to be called one.
When the flag goes by
Chills still creep over me.
Even after seventy plus years.

Many have died
Defending her name.
Defending the rights
Given by The Bill of Rights.
Freedom is definitely not free.

I ask my grandson when he was four
"What does that flag
hanging on the wall mean?"
He replied "Freedom".

Many have died
When stupid politicians
Ran the wars against us
Not the Generals who had the knowledge.

Eight years ago I remember clearly
someone we all know say;
"For the first time in my life
I am really proud of my country. "
Very disturbing words
I shall never forget.

Let us honor those who
have gone on before us.
Let us never forget
what we have and still stand for.
Let us stand and be counted.

For Freedom. Liberty. And much more.

My heart is heavy as we sit idlely by
watching all slip down the drain.

So
Went to a rally
And a riot broke out.
Dumb heads against me
Started to holler and shout.

They threw bottles and rocks
Shouted bad words.
"Expressing their humanity"
Like a flock of ***** birds.

Humanity? Oh come on!
Hired punks is what they are
That need a big dose
Of Singapore justice by far.

Would like to dump
A large large dose
Of butyl mercaptan
On them. Oh so close.

They are not protesters
They are **** bags. Skunks!

(Going Home)

Stan is eighty seven      (Stan now is eighty eight)
bound for heaven         ( waiting now at Heaven’s gate)
where his Love
went on before him.

Some day soon
he will join June
Where the light
will never dim.

Time has past
since he hugged her last
now, the pain
unreal at times.

He knows she lives
where God’s Love gives
us Peace and
love so sublime.

And now….

His mission fulfilled
In what God willed
the race will end
never more to roam.

He made the right choice
The Angels rejoice
God’s forever Love with June
Stan will be going home.

Granddaughter Lucy wrote this just before bedtime this evening.
----------------------------
Dear God
Thank you for this day. Make sure that evrybuty is safe and has a good night and try not to let enebody sin. In God name we pray. Amen.
-----------------------
She gave it to me at bed time. She was asleep before I got it typed in. She Is a first grader.

(Heaven and Earth)

June has gone on ahead of me
Looking down with a smile today.
She has been renewed forever
I am getting older by the day.

My body has many cracks,
Crevices and creases.
"chugging along", missing June -
For Love, it never ceases

Resting on a swaying foundation
God has been good to me
I'm "chugging along" waiting my turn
My Glorious June to see.

I've got Memories by the dozen,
Reminiscences by the score…
The day I stop remembering…
is the day I'll close this door.

My World will have ended
Heaven bound I will be.
Where June is ever waiting...
For her Stan she will see.

My World will soon end
Temporary it has been.
God is calling me home
Where Eternity will begin.

(Just Passing Through)
09-08-2005 J.L. Stevens

This jail is not my home,
I ‘m just a passing through.
Since Jesus touched my life,
Lord, What more can I do.
Your love has rescued me,
Gives me peace in my life.
Lord, help me to walk the path,
Free of trouble and strife.
——————————————-
When freedom beckons me
As I walk out through the door.
Lord, guide me on my journey,
I’ll trust you evermore.
May I choose to do Your will,
When temptation comes my way.
Lord, I know You are with me,
As I walk with You this day.
—— (chorus)—————-
When Jesus called my name,
My life was changed that day.
I walk and talk with Him,
I chose to follow and obey.
I am trusting in the Lord,
To open wide the door.
For I don’t feel at home,
In this jail any more.

(c) 03-15-2016
The cold has gone
What once was brown , now green.
The air is cool
Spring in the air can be seen.

Players are gathered
Practice begins
for the games
to see who wins.

The ball is pitched
Ball aloft at last.
Runner touched home
the point is cast.

They finesse the ball
as they throw and trick.
To out wit the opponent
as the endings  does tick.

They win they lose
this season thus far.
Led by great coaches
has been better than par.

When the games are done
whether lost or won.
It is all in the fun
As they have a great run.

Practicing songs on my guitar
Before Sunday service strumming away
Getting it on the ole fashioned mode
For the old folks to hear,  to start their day.

Grandson Tony
Arrives with a grin
What now?
Thinking within.

Yellow pad note
Was coming near
Stuck on my forehead.
It was made clear.

Finished the song
The note was so near
Removed from said head
Said **"Bob was here"

You left us my friend in sorrow
To wonder about the tomorrow
Not reading your words of wisdoms gain
Has brought to us a sorrow and pain.

I know you can't answer
But please send some inspiration
It is desperately needed
To improve the lot on Hello Poetry
to show us a path less heeded.

Five years is a long time in the life of a poet
The sad thing is we may not even  know it
We wander around in our ups and downs
and occasionally we can act like clowns.
For you Dear Paddy time is but a blink
To clear our minds and help us think

I know you can't answer
But please send some inspiration
Your inspiration is Urgently needed.

Good night. See you in the morning Paddy.

(c) Dec.2008
I spent my whole life addicted
To the streets
On my knees praying,
“Father help me please.
I can’t hide my disease of using You
All these years of lies, I was abusing You.
Seems any reason I could find wasn’t worth it.
What did my family do to deserve it?”
They shared so much pain and were in fear for me.
So much to lose, nothing to gain shed a tear for me
With thoughts of suicide and fantasies of death.
It was never the streets I was addicted to…
It was ****…

Snowmen - side by side
One sniffs. Says to the other
Do you smell carrots?

Oct 13

A new chapter began in the Life of Tony Boy in October. His Daddy got out of prison after spending over three and a half years away. Tony was 2 months old when it all began. We kept a picture of his Daddy in the living room and talked to Tony when he ask about the picture. His Daddy and I kept in touch by letter, but that is a different story.
A couple a days after Tony’s Daddy, (TD), arrived back in Twin Falls, we met at the City Park. We were on the Court House side and TD was on the other side. We started walking toward each other and when Tony was about 100 feet away from his Daddy, he started to run. Tony ran and jumped into his arms. I never saw any thing like that before and did not imagine that would be their first meeting. I must admit that there were tears in my eyes. It was as if they had been apart for just a few days.
For the next three hours, the two of them ran, jumped, wrestled around, and just had a lot of fun. It was really great to see them going hand in hand around the park. Me… I sat in my chair and took it easy for a change. If you have read some of the other stuff about Tony you know we spent a lot of time at the park. Several times I heard Tony say, “I love you Daddy.” I found out later that TD got rather misty but he kept it inside. I guess that comes from trying to be tough for the last few years. He did get stabbed 5 times in Boise and was moved to Orofino after that. But that is another story.
It was a little awkward for TD the first few times. How do you handle a rambunctious 4 year old when you haven’t had the experience before? TD was a quick learner. He observed how I handled Tony and used the same methods.

So for a month now we get together several times a week. Sunday we went to lunch at Addison West. Tony was wired and wanted to play. A couple sitting in an adjacent booth apparently observed the goings on and had a bit of fun with Tony when they left. The lady started to leave and turned around and said, “You sure are a cute little boy.” Well I can’t argue with that.
I will add more to this as time goes by. Tony is sitting here wanting to go to the park. Soooo,,, a guess it is time to GO TO THE PARK.

I’m back. Did not make it to the park. Low blood sugar hit and I had to cope with that for a while. We did get to the grocery store later. I was thinking about second chances. In conversation with people over the years I have said, “what is done is done and there is not anything you can do to change it. It is what you do with today and the tomorrows…. that will make a difference.” I wrote a piece called “Jail (Redemption)” about the time TD was in jail. Some young folk I have talked to are rather surprised to find old dudes like me can think this way. It all boils down to this. I am just a beggar trying to show another beggar where to find the Bread of Life. I would be in deep yogurt if it were not for redemption.

05-15-2011
Since my grandson was little, he is now 6, and we would read a book or two at bed time, I would kiss him goodnight and say, “Love you forever and always Tony Boy.  See you in the morning.”  Last night when the books were read, the evening was winding down and quietness had settled in… I kissed him and said, “love you forever and always Tony Boy.”   This time Tony for the first time said, “I love it when you say that grandpa.”  It took me back for a moment.

I have been thinking that must be the way it is with our Heavenly Father.  He tells us over and over He loves us “forever and always”.  Some day we will tell Him “I love it when you say that Father.”  It confirms the bond between us and Him.  Unbreakable bond that is forever and always.  There is no greater love.

“See you in the morning” has always had two meanings for me.  For Tony it is 8 to 9 hours later.  For me it is also the New Day, New Morning when we wake up in the presence of Jesus.   Some day Tony will understand the second meaning.  The most important meaning.  That will be a glorious morning indeed.  The bond of love is never broken.  It lasts forever.

©5-24-06

The canvas of a child’s mind
Is blank when he is born.

The mind of a child is like a garden in the spring time
It is planted, watered, and nurtured , and over time grows
into something beautiful.

Many times I just need to stop what I am doing and listen… listen to what the “still small voice” is trying to tell me. Taking time to smell the lilacs, so to speak, to soak in the beauty around us, to reflect that God really is God and not a figment of our imagination, is what life should be about. Turning off the things that interrupt our mind (tv/radio/neighbor/spouse ;-) , etc) and listening and seeing the simple joys in life, gives me peace for today and hope that tomorrow will be even better.

My joy these days is in a 24 pound little boy who entered this world 13+ months ago not under the best of circumstance but loved just the same. I would not trade him for all the money in the world. He is the light of my life. When I come home very tired, it would be easy to do what I want… rest, but the look on his little face when I come into the room somehow sparks a little more energy in me to pick him up. He lays his head on my shoulder, gives a sigh, and all is well with the world. Actually, all is well for both of us. Sort of like laying your head on the Lord’s shoulder.

In the spring time, gardens are planted and begin to grow. For him, (my grandson) his mind is like a garden. The seeds planted in his early life, the time taken to talk and play with him, watered with love and compassion, will grow and develop and hopefully the beauty of his garden will crowd out the **** seeds that the winds of the world blow in from time to time. Love always triumphs over hate if you never give up.

I know many kids never had a chance at an early age to grow and bloom into a beautiful garden. Years later, **** killer (God) was applied, the soil tilled by His hand, revealed the potential of their garden. The gardens they grow are beautiful in the eyes of our Lord and Savior. When someones garden is getting a little dry, we need to help water their garden with love, compassion and understanding from our abundance. The small things that don’t cost much but have a big impact on the growing beauty of a garden are important not only to children but to big people as well.

Is there any better way to spend our time than to nurture a growing garden? I think not. I may not live to see my grandson’s garden bloom and produce great things as he becomes a man but I know God will honor the planting and watering I do beyond the day He takes me home.

7-1-08
Time has passed and my grandson is now three. What an age this is. New learning, every day, is taking place and I am a part of it. It is a great honor to help plant God’s love in this little boy. Now that I am retired we are out and about many days of the week. We are still chasing squirrels, watching for fire engines and high flying jets, and meeting new people in the park. Some of the new people are pretty nice and Tony knows which ones they are.

A reporter followed us around last October during one of our many visits to the City Park in Twin Falls Idaho. She did a great job of writing a story about nothing of importance, but it was and is important to Tony since it was about him.  “Walk in the Park” search in the Times News will get:


http://m.magicvalley.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/taking-a-walk-in-the-park-with-grandpa/articlecef84065-d992-5a06-a1c8-631123517f4e.html?mobiletouch=tr­ue

7-5-08
Well it is the day after turning 65, my feet hurt after a morning of “walking in the park”. Tony rode his trike and I got some needed exercise. Today is a great day. Yesterday I was not feeling all that chipper and may, yes just may, have been a little grouchy. It happens when my glucose level gets too high. I made a comment to one of the family who brought home a burger in a paper sack… “you got any grouch pills in there?” A few minutes later I heard Tony say to someone, “we need to find Grandpa’s grouch pills.” It cracked me up and we did not need to find the “grouch pills”. The little guy has a way of shining a light in the darkness and brightening up the whole room. I imagine God is laughing and I suppose God finds our “grouchiness” to be rather silly. Actually it is rather pointless, non-productive, and self-centered activity that gains nothing… oh where did I leave those grouch pills. Aaah yes, thank you Father. I needed that. When you can’t find your grouch pills just look up and se Jesus.


04-03-2021
Time has passed... can you imagine that?... and I’m still here at 77.  Tony is now 16. He has great plans on what he wants to do. May it happen. He will be driving the old man now.

Probably 6 years ago October 31 we were in McDonald’s. Tony and Lucy were dressed for the occasion. The lady behind the counter asked if I was going to dress for Halloween. I told her I was already dressed... that I was going as a grumpy old man.  Been practicing all year. She just laughed.  See what I have to put up with???

Jan 20, 2009
Today I am starting a journal for Tony and his grandfather (me).  We replaced a right head lamp in the LHS this afternoon.  Tony held the socket wrench after I removed the assembly and replaced the bulb. He found a bolt on the left side on which the wrench fit.  When the assembly was in place, Tony got to run the wrench and tighten the bolts.  He came in and said, “I fixed your head light Nennie.” Nennie is his aunt and since she drives the car a lot, the car must be her’s.  He was so proud he could help.  He listened well and followed instruction very well. He got in the drivers seat and turned on the lights. Shifted from lower to upper beam… many times.  It worked!   Did it take longer to get the job done? Yes but the rewards will last for a very long time.

It looks like I have not done very well in keeping up this “journal”.

July 2009.
I was tired this day and my grandson (4) talked me into sitting on the swing while he played in his dirt pile. Dirt is like gold to him. After a while he said, “Grandpa. Can we go to the park today?” I told him I would think about it. A few minutes later he asked, “Have you thought about it Grandpa?” I answered, “Not yet.” His reply was, “Let me do the thinking for you Grandpa.” At this time he put his hand on his face, got a little concerned look and muttered “think,,, think.” Then he said, “I have thought about it Grandpa and we are going to the park.” I got up from the swing and went in and told his Grandma what he said. Then we went to the park.

Some time earlier in the year we went to Arctic Circle, one of our usual places to eat and play. There were a couple of ladies sitting at the table next to us and Tony recognized one of them from the play group. After a time I noticed one little girl had stripped off her top clothing. I was talking to the mother next to me when I saw this. I said to her, “Tony is going to go home and tell his Grandmother that I took him to a ******* restaurant.”

Paddy Martin
Jan 26, 2011
An Australian Summer Sonnet.
I pray thee sun thou should set,
or take thy leave better yet,
wouldst at last my thirst be gone,
But alas thee linger, and linger on.

There be no flower not yet dead,
no water flows in yonder river bed.
'Tis a heat where nought doth grow,
nor doth thee ever mercy show.

Dry of skin and parch of throat,
a man doth need no overcoat.
Thy rays doth burn mine eyes,
they do not hear mine mercy cries.

If there be a place where chill be found,
'Tis there it be that I be bound,
A place where there be no burning sun,
show it to me, so to it I shall run.

(c) 26th January 2010
with apoligies to all you Shakespeare freaks
I was thinking how Will would have handled our Oz summer heat.

Discovered I forgot to post this on HP

Mar 25. 2010

Tony Boy – Chapter 2
A few weeks ago Tony was standing in the door way and said, “Grandpa?: Yes. “Grandpas need grandkids so they won’t get bored.” He is correct in that assumption since there is not a day that some surprise doesn’t pop up. I won’t be dying from boredom any time soon. I have been retired three years now and boredom is not a problem.

We were checking out at Target the other day and the checker and Tony was having a great conversation. As we were leaving, he turned around and said to the checker, “You are missing a tooth. You know that if you put it under your pillow, you can get some money for it from the tooth fairy.” The checker and the people in line were having a chuckle. Me, I laughed all the way to the car. When we got in the car he was questioning me as to why I was laughing. Oh, I just saw something funny.

Today (03/17/2010) we were in Costco foraging about 2:30. It is a great way to pass some time together. The food tables were set up and we had hit the ravioli stuff a couple of times already. The lady running it said one time she had noticed us coming in since he was in a stroller. Anyway, Tony headed back to get another sample and she was talking to a friend. As I rounded the corner Tony was talking to the friend. She was asking him how old he was. “Four.” At which she said, “You are smarter than my 15 year old.”

Tony is 5 today (3/24) A lot of people know his name. Me? Oh I am just Tony’s grandpa. A few weeks back we were in Sears to visit one of his many “friends”. Tammie was not available at the moment and we were wandering around looking at TVs. A fellow was down on his knees putting together a new display. Tony walked up to him and ask, “Do you know what you are doing?” The guy looked rather surprised and then the two got into a discussion of what tools to use. Tony told him about all the tools he has and what should be used on the job. Along came the usual question people ask Tony. “How old are you?” “I am four.” I heard the guy telling some of his fellow workers about being ask if he know what he was doing. They all had a good laugh together. We found Tammie and Tony got picked up and a BIG hug. Most of the people working in the electronics and appliance department know all about the little boy named Tony Boy. It is interesting to see their faces light up when Tony comes around the corner.

As I get older
I would rather be
         Independent.
Than in
         Depends
It all Depends
         After all
So far
         Sooooooo good.

No one can live your life

No one can relieve your strife

No one can change your heart

No one can do your part

No one can decide for you

    What you must do

But you

   A great responsibility
   Filled with great rewards.

   Never Give Up.

(c) 10-2014
It has rained
What once was brown , now green.
The air is cool
Fall in the air can be seen.

Boys are gathered
Practice begins
for the games
to see who wins.

The ball is passed
kicked at last.
Through the goal
the point is cast.

They finesse the ball
as they pass and kick.
To out wit the opponent
as the clock does tick.

Winning all they played
this season thus far.
Led by great coaches
has been better than par.

When the games are done
whether lost or won.
It is all in the fun
Played under the sun.

There are days
I try to think
   Of what to write
Then I blink
It starts to sink
Into the drink
No more ink
Flow, just a stink
There is no ink
From word to word
As
I try to think
There are days.

I was asked to talk on hope so… This was presented March 12, 2009 for a  “Celebrate Recovery” session.

===================================================

My­ daughter asked me where I was going this evening. I said I was going to “Celebrate Recover” meeting to give a talk on HOPE.  She asked, “what are you recovering from dad?’  I told her” My name is John and I am a recovering parent.”  She was rather amused.

Hope. When all is going well and the world seems to be heading your direction… you maybe don’t need hope or think about hope very much. If you do it might be rather superficial as in “I hope I get to work on time”. Personally, right now, “I hope I can get through this talk on hope.”

When life puts you through a trial by fire and all seems hopeless in the eyes of man, when all is burned away such as pride, selfishness, lust, ( insert your favorite hang up here)… all that is left is hope and faith. For me pride evaporated. I had and still have a bumper sticker which says “Proud parent of an O’Leary Junior high student.” The bumper sticker has faded into near nothingness now but it is a reminder of what was left for me. Hope and faith were still standing tall. Pride faded into the past and hope refreshes the vision of the future.

Hopes in our past are probably gone or maybe faded like the bumper sticker. We must look for new hope from Jesus’ words and His life. We must base our hope on Him, live in Him, trust in Him and never give up.

Most of my life, I have been the type who could fix things. Then the reality that my youngest daughter was broken and I could not fix her nearly shattered my life. As hard as we may try we can not live the life of someone else for them. Alcohol and drugs had apparently triggered bi-polar tendencies and she went from a straight A student to a total failure in a matter of months. It was very difficult to understand or even accept that this was happening to our family. For some time the guilt factor was rather great. Where did we go wrong? Why is this happening to OUR family?

The next two years spun totally out of control. Counseling and therapy seemed to make the situation worse. I remember saying in one session, “I feel as if she is on the other side of a glass wall. There is a door in the wall but there is no handle on my side to open it. As I pound on the door, she is bleeding to death and she will not or can not open the door and let me in to help her.” I felt helpless and there was little hope. Life as we knew it was slipping away and it would never be the same again.

Skip forward to May 6, 2003. At work, I received a call from a credit card company and they ask, “did you make such and such purchases? No.” They put a stop on all activity on the card. I went home and found my card in my daughter’s room. I told her to get dressed we are going to take a ride. She got some clothes on and we went down to the Sheriff’s office. A couple hours went by as we sat on a bench and waited. Our hearts sank as we watched her taken out of the sheriff’s office in chains to juvenile detention.  

This was the turning point of hope. It was going to be a promise of new hope or a train wreck. It all depended on the decisions she would make in changing her life style. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and I hoped it was not an oncoming train. After 20 days of detention and another 30 days house detention, we made a trip to the Walker Center where she would spend the next 30 days. It was not an easy 30 days and there were some very tense moments. About 3 weeks into the 30 days, there were three intense days of family sessions. On the second day of the family sessions at the Walker Center, we were on our way home and for the next two hours, I felt compelled to write this piece. I could not stop writing. It just flowed out of the pen from the interaction with parents and our children.

“My Name is __.
I am a Dopeless Hope Addict.”
© (7-25-03) John L. Stevens

Life seemed to ****.
The pain seemed so real.
The drugs seemed so easy
To change what I did feel.

At first it seemed to help
To cover up the pain.
But the ******* sound I heard
Was my life, down the drain.

The hole I found myself in
Got deeper by the day.
Hope seemed to fade from me
That help was on the way.

The help I sought and found
Was the “friends” who got me here.
Those who had the ***, the ****,
The drugs and the beer.

The family I once had loved,
Seemed distant from me now.
My love had turned to hate
By the love of drugs somehow.

The hole caved in on me
From a distance I could hear.
“We loved her, Oh so very much”
“We failed her. Somehow my Dear.”

They pulled me from the darkest hole
I, myself, had dug.
And took me into their arms
To rescue me from drug.

The days turned into many weeks.
My head began to clear,
To see the ones who really love me.
My hate was not so near.

A cloud of doubt and guilt rained down
For the things I had done.
Soon love returned to fill my heart
Where once the drugs had won.

Forgiveness came from those who loved,
To me, for the many years.
For the pain and sorrow I had caused
To them, through many tears.

A group of families gathered ’round
With love so great for me.
I soon discovered through the tears
Their abundant love was free.

I felt the love of those who care.
I learned to love again.
To care once more for what I’d lost.
To trust and live within.

When temptation comes to my door
To offer me a high.
Let Love instead answer the knock
And with Serenity say – goodbye!
——————————————-

This story has not ended. It will continue for a life time. Life is about choices we make on a daily basis. It dictates what we will possibly do tomorrow based on what we do today. Life is built on choices. The end of the story will be written when we meet the One who loves us unconditionally. The One who died on the Cross for us.

Love triumphs over adversity when God is in it. In the vernacular of Lola of “Charley and Lola “Never, never, never, ever give up” must be the words to live by. Progress is made even when there are two steps forward and one step back. Thank God for the progress. Hope lives on in the hearts of those who trust Him.
======================================================

A strange feeling set in during the time she was in detention and a ward of the court. We could sleep at night. We knew she was in a safe place and not running in the drug culture. It meant we would not get a call in the middle of the night to identify her body. It was the first time in a long time we could breathe.

On Father’s Day that year, my daughter wrote me a two page letter, a beautiful letter saying she understood why we did what we did. I treasure this letter. Tough love does not get any tougher. It was very tough on us. Most every night the last few years when I go to bed and she is awake, I hear this little voice as I pass her bed room, “Goodnight Daddy, I love you.” “I love you too, Sweetheart.” It melts my heart every time.

As I lay my head on the pillow my thoughts most every night are, “thank you Father for this day. Thank you for my daughter, thank you for letting us be her parents.” And with that, all is well in the world.


Faith, hope and love. The greatest of these is love. Without love there would in all likelihood not be very much faith and hope hanging around. God’s love for us is so great, how can we not give our love to our children and each other, unconditionally, as an extension of His love for us? The story of the prodigal son was ever on my mind. A story of never ending love and hope on the part of the Father.

My hope is in the eternal Jesus who has promised to never leave me or forsake me.

I can not imagine living my life without hope. I can not imagine living without the love of God.

Spring of 2002 unraveled for a friend of mine. His wife got sick, his mother came out to help them and she had heart failure and died in the hospital one floor below where his wife was located. A month later his wife died, he lost his job, a vertebrae in his neck deteriorated, his insurance evaporated. It was Job all over again. We spent many hours of many days trying to make sense of his situation. It seemed pointless. Absolutely hopeless. I can remember a cold fear pouring over me. There was nothing I could do to help him.

I wrote a piece called “Hope for Tomorrow” a couple months later that reflected his loss and my loss when my mother died 1991. Writing is therapy for me. Writing puts on paper a reminder of where I am at that time. The words of this piece points to the loss of a loved one but the thoughts can translate to any loss.

Hope for Tomorrow
© July 2002 John L. Stevens

My heart was so heavy
With sadness and sorrow.
The day was so dark
I could not see tomorrow.
Hope seemed so dim
Through the tears that I cried.
I could not see You Lord
The day that she died.

I remembered Your promise
To be by my side.
For always You’re with me
In You I abide.
In the midst of the darkness
Your hand touched my soul.
You drew me so close
And made me whole.

There are times that I cry
Alone with just me.
When the silence comes crashing
Like a storm-troubled sea.
There are times that I laugh now
When I remember the years.
That we shared together
Through the good times and tears.

The peace oh Lord
The memories You bring.
Fills my life with hope
Make my heart strings sing.
Draw me close to Your side
And lead me gently on.
Give me hope for tomorrow
Till the dark turns to dawn.
———
Open my heart Lord
Let out the sorrow.
Pour in your spirit
And hope for tomorrow.
I need Your touch Lord
On my heart this hour.
Fill me with Your love
With Your healing power.

===============================

I hope these thoughts I have shared with you have been an encouragement to your heart. I hope you will have a renewed resolve to never give up but keep taking baby steps forward as you make your journey with Jesus through this life. Now from the words and wisdom of Lola, “I will never, never, never, ever give up Charley.”

To those who did not go to sleep, thanks for listening.

The weather is cooling
and this is no fooling.
The Sugar is swinging
alone with no humming.
Soon to be cold weather
They will huddle together
Or go South as a Smart Bird
as in a big bird herd.
     (I know it is a flock)
I will wait sort of patiently
But I want them NOW!
My verse fell apart
oh where did it go?
It went with the birds
Till next Spring
My little birds
I will be ready Hectar.
Please show up.
I need help.

Hummmmmmmm

The Boss came to town one day
Took over the "Swinging" Sugar Shack.
When others came to take a sip
He warned them, "OUT and don't come back."

He buzzed them off so far away
As another came to  sip and rest
Back he came his tail fanned out
Thinking, yes, he was the best.

With space around the Treasury
for more than eight to sip and eat.
But only one can land and sip
when "The Boss" plants his angry feet.

He sits and guards his precious turf
For many minutes at a time.
Driving away the other birds
Who has found the Sugar sublime.

The reason the hummers can only hum
is because they don't know the words.
Or they would scream little bird words
at the other little humming birds.

The hummer most persistent it seems
goes by the name of Hummer Hectar.
You too would be mad and miffed
if someone stole your Sugar and Nectar.

April 24 2010 there was a Boy Scout display in the parking lot North of Mickey Ds and by the Imagination Station. Tony was fascinated by many of the displays. The Sheriff’s Office was well represented with several displays. Tony got to climb up on the rescue boat, the one we see going by our house frequently in the summer to fish someone out of the river. The two Sheriff’s Office Deputies in charge of the boat were really good with the kids. About 15 minutes later Tony bent over the bow of the boat, I was on the good ole solid ground, and said to me, “These guys are really COOL grandpa.” I said, “yup, they are.” and looked over at one of guys. I ask, “Did you hear that?” With a big grin he said, “I sure did.” He had a big grin on his face for a while. Tony debarked and headed to new territory. I have to have speedy shoes on to keep up some days. I wish I could find a pair of those.

Later we were at a different car on display. The people there were young intern or trainee types wearing the Sheriff’’s Office shirt and hardware. Tony had bailed out of the armored car where he had been playing for 20 minutes and was standing next to me watching the young group yucking it up. They were loud and horsing around some… with out the horse. All of a sudden he got a scowl on his face and said in a rather loud voice, “Grandpa, those are NOT real cops. Why are they wearing uniforms? They should not do that.” Well that was hard to explain and I was hoping “they” did not hear what he said. We left rapidly.

I guess he thought they were not acting the way officers should act. At least not like the COOL guys at the boat. I suppose that comes from trying to instill respect in the uniform of peace officers. The lesson is one each of us needs to remember. If we say we are (fill in the blank) then we had better act the part or we can lead an impressionable young mind astray. So lets be COOL.

That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

I think that I shall never see
A leaf as lovely without a tree
When it falls upon the ground
So gently placed to be found.
A child gathers it in her hands
Carefully places it on the sands
Hoping to grow a brand new tree
For all the world new life to see.

Have you ever read
The book: "Saggy Baggy Pants"
By Seamore Butts?  No?

© July 2002 John L. Stevens

My heart was so heavy
With sadness and sorrow.
The day was so dark
I could not see tomorrow.
Hope seemed so dim
Through the tears that I cried.
I could not see You Lord
The day that s(he) died.

I remembered Your promise
To be by my side.
For always You’re with me
In You I abide.
In the midst of the darkness
Your hand touched my soul.
You drew me so close
And made me whole.

There are times that I cry
Alone with just me.
When the silence comes crashing
Like a storm-troubled sea.
There are times that I laugh now
When I remember the years.
That we shared together
Through the good times and tears.

The peace oh Lord
The memories You bring.
Fills my life with hope
Make my heart strings sing.
Draw me close to Your side
And lead me gently on.
Give me hope for tomorrow
Till the dark turns to dawn.
———
Open my heart Lord
Let out the sorrow.
Pour in your spirit
And hope for tomorrow.
I need Your touch Lord
On my heart this hour.
Fill me with Your love
With Your healing power.

The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground.
The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around.
Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do.
Then through the tears, saw grandpa kneeling… Saying, “Grandpa’s here for you.”

Grandpa said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.”
“Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.”
The little girl melted into his arms The sorrow turned to joy.
When grandpa’s near, all is better For grandpa’s little girl.

Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always.
When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze.
When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there.
I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there .

The little girl grew to a fine young woman. The time went by so fast.
She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last.
You could see grandpa and the young girl, Walking side by side through life.
When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife.

Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always.
When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze.
When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there.
I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there .

The young woman cried when grandpa died. As they lowered him in the ground.
Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around.
Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do.
So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandpa’s here for you.”

Your, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always.
When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze.
When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find him waiting here.
He’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here

Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always.
When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze.
When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here.
I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here.

Good night sweet Princess. See you in the morning.
©9-15-06 John Stevens

07-14-2014 For Sye

The cow jumped over the moon.
Udderly de-fence-less..

Went to the word market
looking for bargains.

found some:    cheap PAIN
                          cheap LOVE
                          HURTS galore.

In the fancy alluring boxes
Almost ****** me in.

Rack on rack:  Disobedience
                          Bad Choices
                          PLEASE NO MORE

All went in **** Bags

Box upon box of
A clean looking place
nothing fancy

I saw baskets full
Running over
                          Faith
                          Hope
                          Love.

­                          Redemption
                          Gr­ace
                          Mercy

ALL WERE FREE.

Some of the same words
used differently...
Love was fulfilling
Pain and Hurts were still there
but in the distant memory.

Redemption and Hope were
in strong demand this time of year.

There was "scent of Rose"
lingering in the air.
Memories of love
caressed my spirit.  

The place was not crowded
the people were the best.

Just a story.
When I was a kid... yes there was a time I was a kid, the garden was just South of the house.  Mom and I worked in the garden a lot.  Sometimes when she was not in the garden I would lay between the carrot rows, pull a carrot out of the sandy soil, brush off the sand and have a very fresh yummy carrot.  They were soooo tender they seemed to melt in my mouth.  Anyway, when I was finished eating the carrot I would put the top back into the hole.  No one was the wiser.  No one knew the difference or so I thought.  I did notice the carrot top would wilt which looked a little suspicious but... there was a gopher problem so maybe the gophers ate the carrots.  Sounded like a good story to me.  "Did the gopher eat the carrot mom?" "Yes probably so."

I found out years later.... Mom knew who the gopher was.  BUSTED.

I was telling this story to my grand daughter Lucy after school one day.  Her eyes brightened up and said, "That is a funny story grandpa."  So here it is added to the memories of a grandpa.  Lucy keeps telling people, strangers even, "you should hear this. Grandpa tell them about the carrots."  The story has latched onto her 5 year old brain and won't let go.

So... the next time you are eating a carrot... don't fib to your mom.

Where are my t-shirts?
Lucy wearing them to bed
Life has changed again.

Shy smiles
lite up the sky.
Let go of the past
and said good-bye
Friends pop up
and now say Hi!
It's good to see Sye.
Way up high.