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342 · Mar 2016
Horror
John Reilly Mar 2016
I cannot read
your mind
And anyways
I'm not a fan
Of Horror stories
340 · Aug 2017
Why
John Reilly Aug 2017
Why
What am I doing
How did I get here
Why bother going on
In your mind
Out of it
A troubled past
Or a bleak future
Yet I am
Present
I didn't see the point
Yet something pointed me here
I thought i can't go on
Yet now I'm writing poetry
I thought I needed solitude
I found solidarity
I thought that I was weak
Asking for help is strong
I've edited this, switching the second part to  "I". Originally they were "you" because I wrote this poem  while in the hospital and wanted to help;My wife (a much better poet!) pointed out that person change and how it's much harder to write from first person....which was part of the reason I was in the hospital in the first place, I needed to learn you gotta put your own oxygen mask on before you try and help others.  I did leave  hand written copies of the original around the ward when I left.   Now I'm not saying I did do it, I'm not saying I didn't do it, I'm just gonna say the coyote outside didn't move in his own!
334 · Jan 2017
Or not
John Reilly Jan 2017
Who are you really?
Hazy collection of cherry picked memories
Sort them as you will
Arrange them to your liking
Till you see what you want to see
Parallax  personality
Expectations supplant reality
Composite sketch puzzle
So many years
So many pieces
So many
you
Missing pieces
Filled in at your discretion
Until redirection
All the world is but a stage
But this is not a solo show
You Strut upon
Well Practiced lines
Their delivery
Outlines
The picture you want us to see
The person you want
To be
But you are no magician
And no acting
Can completely conceal
How you act
The reveal
Your true self
Spilling out
Of your ill fitting
People suit
For the missing pieces
Belong to us
And we shall see you
As we see fit
331 · Feb 2016
Present
John Reilly Feb 2016
They say
Your  life
Flashes before your eyes
In the moments before death
Your mind
Slowing the perception
Of time
Struggling to piece together
How your entire history
Led you to this
I look back
Wistfully
On a youth wasted
Looking forward
Wishfully
How did I miss
Their junction?
I think
Death will be
A moment in time
For which I will be
Present
And accounted for
330 · Mar 2016
Apathy
John Reilly Mar 2016
When did you
Become me?
Or did I
become you?
Is apathy
Your analgesic?
Stranger  
In a strange body
Did you run away
To leave me frozen here ?
#apathy #sick  #doubt
330 · Mar 2019
Dragon
John Reilly Mar 2019
1:11 AM
Hiding in
A cake
Riding out
The terror
Basking in this light
Blind me to it all
Capture all my fears
Envelope me
My temerity  
Save what’s left
The few words
That struggle
To be free
Of the
Terror
That is
Me
330 · Aug 2017
Words
John Reilly Aug 2017
Words
Are powerful
They teach us
Yes
And no
Love
And hate
They shape us
From the outside
With what we say
And from the inside
With what we think
They can erode us away
And build us up
Bind
Or break
Us
A beginning
Or an end
Ultimately
Starts with
U
329 · Mar 2016
I forget
John Reilly Mar 2016
I should write this down
Before I forget
Because I know I will
Forget
And you will
forget
And
it
I
You
will be
Forgotten
Unless I nail it down
Here
Now
Forever
329 · Nov 2016
Sentencing
John Reilly Nov 2016
My Body
Is evidently
damning
I plead for
Clemency
I do not
Wish to leave
Not my time
I do not
Want to serve
My changed mind
An Unspeakable
Sentence
An inescapable
Outcome
Fugitive
In
A fuge state
Pardon me
321 · Nov 2016
Glimpse
John Reilly Nov 2016
Dusk and
Dawn
The fleetingest
Of Moments
When
The world
Pauses
Then
Pivots
And reveals
A brief glimpse
The enormity
Of Everything
A story
Told in hues
So that
you may
Understand
312 · Nov 2016
Ok
John Reilly Nov 2016
Ok
How have you been?
Sorry it's been awhile
Since I've written
I guess things are ok
Haven't much to write about
It's not fair
I know
That I only write
Of Sorrow and
In desperation
One might think
That's all
I have left
unspoken
I just wanted to say
It's ok
300 · Mar 2016
Space
John Reilly Mar 2016
I never could
Read between
The lines
All I see
Is
The space
That
Separates
You
From
Me
292 · Aug 2017
Centered
John Reilly Aug 2017
The road itself
Had not changed
But the median
That devided  it
Had shifted
And what had once
Been the center
Brightly defined
Is now
A pair
Of black
Parallel lines
Reflective
Visible
a strange
Redaction
Why was I drawn
to this
I circled around
Ride back
Try to guide the bike
Between the lines
And picture
Quite literally
What it means
This new
absence
A shift of what
Once had been
Taken for granted
Is it just me
My life
Ghost  road
Ghost ride
From allegory
To zeitgeist
I am your
Poster child
A guy with
Parkinson's
Riding
No hands
Trying to take
A picture
With my iphone
Pondering
meaning
In the middle of
the ******* road
279 · Sep 2016
Conviction
John Reilly Sep 2016
Conviction is
nothing more than
A coping skill
As we cling
to our Gods
And ideology
Our concepts of
Who and why
We are
A flimsy barricade
To protect us
From the unknown
And unknowable
The impossible
And the possibility
That there is
No reason
No purpose
No intent
a million monkeys typing
How many stars were necessary
To create the sonnet
Of you and me
And everything
An event
As inevitable
As every
Ending
Of this much
I am
Convinced
262 · Dec 2017
Mask
John Reilly Dec 2017
withdrawal
is not an easy thing
my affliction
my addiction
how does it fare
for you
locked doors
secure floors
you can be safe
if you could only learn
how not
to be
you
my support
meets retort
access
affection
all denied
Of course I care
we’ve both been there
i empathize
with your view
while mine
goes black
for what I lack
the oxygen
i call
you
260 · Jan 2018
Rabbit
John Reilly Jan 2018
Little rabbit
On the fringe
Do I frighten you
Is it fear
That froze you here
In front of me
Or are you trying
to tell me
Something
I follow your lead
As you hop
Ahead of me
And pause
You turn to see
If I understand
Is this a game
Always just
out of reach
So close
So familiar
Yet you are
Still feral
Unpredictable
And would rather
Run into traffic
Than except
What I offer
234 · Sep 2017
Untitled
John Reilly Sep 2017
I know where I was
somewhere between
precisely where
i did not want to be
to what look liked
a promising path
to where I wanted to
arrive
calculating
my route
I was
distracted
a thought leapt into
being
I should write it down
take the picture
stop and savor this moment
be mindful
of your mindfulness
living in the moment
non judgemental
listening
watching
with intent
means you will not
discriminate
what you keep
from what you lose
that moment
you thought so important
flew off on a cloud
so this sentiment
will have to do
because I haven't a clue
as to what I have let
slip
away
202 · Apr 2019
Poor fit
John Reilly Apr 2019
Words
A thousand of which
Crash
Trying to escape  
from my Jumbled head
Only to be
Trapped
In my mouth
Until pressure
Bursts them to
Spill
Upon the table  
For my epiphany
I hate puzzles
179 · Jun 2020
doubt
John Reilly Jun 2020
warm winds
come and tickle at
my frozen skin
a taste of what
might be
a vision
of salvation
if  they could
only
see
would they not
storm and howl
and lift me
out
help me fly
though all this
doubt
169 · Jun 2020
erasure
John Reilly Jun 2020
I am what was given
and what was taken away
what was joyously received
and unceremoniously  discarded
I am trash
that was once
treasure
I am what needs
forgetting
the regretting
a story
redacted
its final act
retracted
by a kind
stranger
who
saved
me
from
the
brink
165 · Jun 2020
dream
John Reilly Jun 2020
Though we may only meet
in a dream
it is for now
enough it seems
but some day
i  would really like
to touch your skin
in the real life
until that day
does come to be
you’ll be the only
one
for
me
163 · Aug 2021
Love lottery
John Reilly Aug 2021
Houses
Houses Cars Mortgage Kids
All of the Reasonable Things that We did
For security
And for
doing what’s right Be a good
Husband
Be a good
Wife
Defer happiness For another day Hope For good
Luck
Gamble away
When love
Turns to lack
And attack
attack
I must persevere So much on
My back
For me
To stand up
And say
It’s not ok
For you to
Erupt
Ignore
And dismiss
me Away
Would be me being Selfish
So I struggle on It’s not about me This isn’t my song Stay in discord Life is but chore Swallow my pride Learn not to
Cry

I signed up for this So I have to stay
In a home
Without warmth
Joy
Stripped away
Someday luck
Will change
And bestow
Upon me
The happiness
Joy
And love that
I need
Maybe they’ll change Or they could leave me Someday they’ll die Then I’ll be free
To finally collect
The love I deserve
If only I had
Any reserves
You say
I’m too old
To gamble on
Crazy love
Then why do
You do this
I’ll tell you
Because
Your mind knows
You’re trapped
It concocted this plan With you unaware You’re making a stand A light in the dark You shone unto me
Your winning number In the love
Lottery
1-617-852-0041
Call me
Now.
162 · Jun 2020
time bomb
John Reilly Jun 2020
Time bomb
That I am on
It’s all me
I’m a mess
Cannot cope
With all the stress
The drugs
The disease
Or childhood
It’s just me
I am no good
It’s my fault
I am to blame
Playing stupid children’s games
Wishing I could just might
Touch a soul and save a life
So that I may save my own
Duplicity I’ve got two phones
Broken man
Broken home
Broken wife
Cannot do this life stuff right
But I can write a lovely poem
Never leave it well enough alone
129 · Jun 2020
a plan
John Reilly Jun 2020
Traffic is coursing
Thru the central artery
A view that’s sliced off
It’s all that I see
But I know the flow
How it pours
Into town
Filling these buildings
I see all around
Window upon l
Windows
On view here
For me
I see
Pain
I see suffering
humanity
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to stay
I don’t want to hide
Day after day
Shuffling around
Scared to make a sound
Take mirame 3x a day
Watch the boy moved
In some freakish way
Twitching about
Like some clockwork man
And the question
Asked daily is
Do you have a plan

— The End —