It was a lovely frosty morning
especially fine
for November

I can love you & hate you,
All at the very same time,
I can need & yet reject you,
I’m balancing on the borderline.

I can blame you & bad mouth you,
I can make you feel, I don’t care,
If only I could explain to you
How much I need you there.

I’m balancing on the borderline
With no safety net below
I’m like a ticking time bomb
Not knowing when I might blow.

I’m loving & argumentative
I’m cruel & yet I’m kind
I’m childish & mature
I’m balancing on the borderline.

I can chop & change my mind
Quicker than the weather
I’m like a mound of clay
You can mould me into whatever.

Take my life into your hands
I’ll let you create what I should be
I’ll be whatever you want
Just please don’t leave me be.

It's you my soul feels home with
Behind ego's dysfunctional patterns
It's you my heart rests easy with

it's when the sun goes down
and the end of the day approaches
that she wants nothing more
than to be cosy on your couch
tucked up under a blanket
whilst you do your thing
sitting crossed legged on your kitchen counter
chatting breeze whilst you cook onion rings
when you come lay with her on the magic couch
take off happens
she’s transported
exquisite peace and happiness
kitten curled up on the heater with a belly full of cream, utterly safe, utterly content
at peace with the world
no where she'd rather be

sun down, the time now, is when she struggles
her being reaches out into the night for you
despite these feelings rising and falling
she’s digging deep
learning to stay with herself
hold herself
it's not the same
she can't pretend it is

she's aware enough to see the dark gift
she needed to be alone
to learn to not be afraid of the dark
but the truth is
she’s not built for alone
she’s destined to be the kitten who got the cream
curled up beside you on the magic couch
paw to paw
ready for take off