Sometimes you cross my mind
And I feel myself release a smile
I get butterflies in my belly
I recall the time when you loved me

Sometimes I think of you
And the naughty things we used to do
I can feel myself tense up
From pondering on your love

Sometimes I reminisce
About your touch and tender kiss
And I must admit
There are times that I miss
You...

I loved and I cared
You gave me grief and despair
I moved on with flair

I craved all of you
But only received a piece
Which is not enough

Like many other women in the world
At some point in my life
A man I loved turned me into a heart broken girl
I went through a phase where I hated men
I didn't want to be bothered with any of them
Didn't even want one as a platonic friend
As time healed my wounds
I began to learn to love again

But this time I learned to love myself first
I stopped wasting my time on random men
And giving in to the thirst
Of men who only came around
Because they wanted to make me burst

I rose my standards when dealing with men
However, I find myself spending more time alone
And that's fine with me because I'd rather be left alone
Than wasting my time on a man that's entirely wrong for me
And that decision wasn't easy
Because I thoroughly enjoy a man's company

I don't want just any man in my life
I want the man who will indeed be
The perfect guy for me
So I'll continue to wait patiently
And in the meantime I'll continue to work on myself
So when he does come I'll be ready

It's easy to see
That I'm a woman
But what you can't see
Is that it won't come easy
For any man learning to keep me pleased

And not because I'll intentionally
Give you a hard time
It's because most men aren't patient enough
To try and understand a woman's mind

Instead of trying to rush and get into my *******
You should take the time to dissect my personality
Take the time to see
If I'm even worth getting to know sexually
Allow yourself to learn if I can stimulate you mentally
And maybe if you take your time you could **** out
If you think I'd be crazy

That will be the label that I receive
Once you see
That I'm like every other woman which is simply
Emotional
I don't understand why men deem this a flaw
Because that's what God intended for women to be

So here's the deal
I'm going to keep it all the way real
And let you know how I feel
Before you try to get into my bed
First, get inside of my head
And really consider if I'm even worth it

There are a lot of things I'm uncertain of
And I never pretend to know
There are a lot of things that I'm scared of
But I never allow my fear to show

There are times when I want to break down
But who's going to lift me up?
There are times I want to confide in someone
But who is there to trust?

There are times when I want to love
However, I have no one to give my heart to
There are times I don't mind sharing my space
But I rarely follow through

There are times I'm confident in myself
There are times I'm insecure
I have times when I'm content with my life
But most of the time I'm craving for more

Right now I'm feeling that it's time I set all of my fears free
Right now I feel that it's time I truly embrace my destiny
It's time I leave my past behind and go after that more
It's time that I embrace my future, it's time that I explore

Mixed emotions
Unclear notions
I'm in roller coaster mode
Do I hold on?
Or do I simply just let go?
Honestly, I don't know
I'm not 100% sure of who I am
I'm growing, still learning
And constantly yearning
For a deeper understanding
Of this womanhood business
It's a very complicated existence
For instance

Society describes what a woman should be
So faintly
All of the descriptions I hear are nothing at all like me
And since I don't quite understand what I should be
When I make mistakes on my womanhood journey
Society ridicules me
But why? I don't know what I'm doing
And since I don't, shouldn't someone show me?

How should I conduct myself?
Why hasn't anyone prepared me for this womanhood test?
Society shouldn't just expect
That I should already know how to be
Independent, submissive, loyal, loving and trustworthy
Especially if no one took the time out to show me
I only had society to mold me
And clearly
Society doesn't know what a real woman should be
I couldn't learn how from TV
Those people, those images are nothing but deceit

So what's a girl to believe?
Oh, society you don't know either?
Fine, well when you find out
Maybe you should teach me