You've asked me how can I see a future when love, in all
Its numinous beauty, is waning?
I reply, the immortal stars still shine above the veil of clouds.
You say, why are the salmon swimming to their pools of origin
Only to die as they spawn?  Only to die?
I tell you their love is unconditional, like mine.
You ask me did the giant sequoia know it was shelter for the burning grasses
When they walked from the seas?  I reply yes they knew.
You question me about the lofty snow cranes that fly over the Himalayas
And I reply by describing
How the priestly flocks, chanting on their mission, honk—
Announcing the mantle steps to the heavens.
You inquire about the elephantine manatees gracing the shallow banks
And wonder if the sea mermaids remember their lives beyond the latitudes
Of capricorn and cancer?
Or you’ve discovered in the wind a new reasoning as to why
The talons of the paired eagles lock in midair as they court?
You want to understand the nimbus garden, ocean slate, of lake Titicaca
Where resides the Andean sea horse gliding above the clouds?
The whales that circle dance in unison collecting krill?
The noetic display of the birds of paradise, the songs of nameless creatures
Playing in the wilderness like a forgotten melody only lovers lips remember?

I want to tell you that true love knows this, that life in its
Prismatic shimmer is all the myriad colours of infinite existence wrapped
In time to the sublime structure of white and bones.  I must tell you
That the flower is mighty in its opening, the humming bird is a sorcerer
Who needles ambrosia with vortex wings weaving his way to the Gods.

But I am nothing beside your disbelief which has arrived, before
I can even imagine the sweet awakening, like doom, my shell is the iridescent
Hollow of the one eyed Abalone, discarded in the deep fathoms
Of the ocean pressures.

I swim the tides as you do, investigating
The endless tendril seas,
And in my chest, during the night, I woke up empty,
The only thing treasured, a golden face
Trapped inside my dreams.

                                                        ­­­          
                                                             ­­                      *— after Neruda

Anonymous camaraderie,
New friends pour from cyberspace.
Tweets flutter rampantly,
In this most ambiguous place.
Strangers in passing,
Or is it kismet?
Can’t you tell what I am saying?
Innuendo among keystrokes.
And you thought I was playing.
LOL

My world is all digital,
Evocatively simple,
Demanding your principle,
Ingrained as symbol,
A**ll in code.

1/6/2016

Words are my release.
Penning poems for recovery.
I write, for I am.

You asked if I was going to stay, I nodded,
but I'm just waiting here until your coffee cools,
until your feet go numb from sitting on them
so you have to switch positions, until the letters
magnetized to your fridge stop twisting themselves
into "sorry." Until I feel better about not calling you later.

Last night you asked if I liked Bon Iver,
I nodded, but I only did that in hopes that I could see
what the rest of your bra looked like, because
the strap was barely falling off your shoulder,
and I know you tried to tuck it neatly
under the straps of your dress, but darling,
I want to love you like a disaster. I want to tear
into your skin like your bones are a present,
it's Christmas morning, and I'm that little kid
sitting on the stairs, peaking. I want to line up
my heart with yours like they are those fridge magnets
with the thinest of barriers between them, your chest
a tiny cage that I have the key to, hidden
underneath my tongue. I want to rock you to that song
your telling me is your favorite that I promise
I'm not going to remember the name of. I want your sheets
curled between your toes as you breathe into my neck,
into my mouth, into my brain. I want to use your ribs
like a guitar, stroke them in a rhythm only I know,
only the two of us can hear the sound.
I want to come this close to falling
for you before I have to break free.

You asked if I really had to go, I nodded,
but in my mind I'm leaving you clues:
footprints on your carpet, my belt on the dresser,
my smile as I watched you through
the crack of light between the bathroom door
try to put your hair up ten different times
before you came to bed, just so you can find
my heart between the pillow cases
as I pull my car out of the driveway.

Smokey Hollow;
It was a just a dead end road.

I fell in love with a girl,
who lived in the only house on the left.

But our love was dead end,
just like her road.

I used to love a girl,
who lived in the only house on the left.

Until our love dead ended,
Just like her road.

Some steps are hard to take
Some people you just can't let go

That first step
When you hold your breath
And tread onto the ice

You pray in your mind
With your hands tightly clenched
That it won't break

That you won't break
Like you have before
So many times

You know it can hold you
But you don't know
If it can bear your scars

You carry them proudly
But not for all to see
A secret burden

They lighten some things
And others they drag down
But will they crack the ice

You reach for the edge
Something to grasp
But just out of reach

Just like your nights
You reach for someone
But they are just out of reach

It's not so much the fact of being alone
Than feeling alone
No one wants that.

Yes, you love your solitude
You crave the dark
Yet you need a friend

You want hands
To reach for you
To catch you

Before your fall
Before the ice cracks
In the moment of opportunity

That is where you find yourself
In that moment
In the moment of opportunity

You are not afraid
You have felt pain before
It still lingers, yet

You are not timid
You have walked this road
Yet it wearies you

You are apprehensive
Of who you are
In the dark

You do not know
If this is your last night
Maybe you wont return to the light

The sun kisses your face
But does not shine in your eyes
Like the light in those around you

The moon, your dark Queen
You bask in her light
And serve her temporal being

A balance you seek
A scale you weigh
Of light and dark

Both a beautiful half
Of a bigger part
The light all the of days

So territorial, you are
Of all you hold dear
Of all that lies

Just out of reach
You wish to hold it
All in your arms

Keep all you love
Safe from harm
But it tears your wounds open

Your scars burn like fire
In gaze of unknown eyes
And you turn to the shadows

But my friend
My dearest friend
I know you

I have walked the halls
Of your sorrowed heart
I know the corridors

The doors you hide behind
And the pain behind your eyes
And still I love you

I would save you from yourself
Never, to destroy again
Battles you would not have to fight

I do not know
How long wars last
One day is enough

Half of your heart
Is cold and dark
But not barren

Half of you heart
Is warm and light
But still not beating

Your mind an expanse
You let me inside
So I would find

A place to hide
A place to know
A place to fight

Gentle songs
Ring from your lips
And bid the demons shrink

Strong words
Of forgotten days
Tremble on the brink

And cascade into victory
A crown of golden stars
To be placed upon your head

A ruler, all her own
A ruler, of her own
A ruler, never alone