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Jenn Yeo Aug 2013
So here it goes, a message to the lord
A man whom I've talked to few times before
Although I never really believed in him, the thought was quite hysterical
Until the day I needed a miracle

They say you're the man I need to befriend
To change my life and give my torn heart a mend
And so I hear your power Is greater then we can ever know
I challenge you to let your powers be shown

I was in love you see and he was only sixteen
He had a troubled mind and he struggled every night
I told him that I loved him and that this pain wasn't sempiternal
But he did something that was said to be eternal

He took his life, his spirit sent away
To another thought in time and space
This is where you come in; just hear me out
Let me tell you what this really is about

He saved me every night so why couldn't I just this one time
It didn't have to be this way; grant me the grandest favour of giving back his life
I promise to never sin or disobey your words
If you are true, show me my voice is heard

I know there's other in need but lord you don't understand
That boy was the biggest part of me, he made me who I am
Without him I have nothing, he was all I had
Tell me great one, can you bring him back?

It's a lot to ask, I realize this but I'll give you all I have
I'll be what you want me to be, no questions asked
If you're real don't letter me suffer or drown in sin
Bring him back and let him be what he should have been

The choice Is yours but I beg of you, think well and long
I'll be your humble servant if you cant prove this theory wrong
You're all I have to turn to, my last bit of hope
Please don't leave me on this earth rotting alone

If you don't accept my offer I must warn you there will be
Another angel at your gates waiting for you to meet
So it's up to you, but just know if you decline
I'll be joining him, for I promised I'd never leave his side
♥ rest in paradise Martin ♥
Jenn Yeo May 2014
I spilled my heart out on a side street as strangers passed us by tonight
My body couldn't stop shaking but it wasn't from the wind but fear something wouldn't come out right
I can recall every detail but it was a complete blur at the same time
I may have fallen apart right then and there if you didn't hold me so tight
I shared how dumb I was for feeling all these things and for not making up my mind
And you told me then you must be an idiot and I felt so glad to have you by my side
I wish I could make you understand my thoughts but I don't understand them myself
I just know I want you more than anybody else
Jenn Yeo Jan 2014
She watches you with careful eyes, a wicked heart and dreadful lies
Waiting until the moment when you can't bare to breath anymore
She walks in with perfect strides, movements so smooth as if she glides
and she comes to when you are collapsed in a heap on the floor

She tells you dear there is a place, somewhere off in time and space
She'll take you there if you agree, the trip is now and the ticket is free
All the pain will suffice and this she says is no lie
It is a world of no pain nor hurt and where all your thoughts can be heard

Everyone will be happier if you come with me she says; trust me your parents will understand
Think of the adventure, think of the peace, think of the opportunity, don't you trust me?
She pulls you in so close but her hands they feel so awfully cold.
She says I only want the best for you, come with me like I need you to

And so you agree to go because she's advised its best but you get this sinking feeling in your chest
You can tell somethings not right, as you journey father away and emerge in this light
At first you are blinded but all you hear is screams, surrounding you in a place of peace
but you recognize voices and you start to hear weeps; you find out soon it's your family

They know that you've left and you feel like you're going to *****, this was not what she had promised
You realize you need to go back but she ignores your pleas, even when you go down to your knees
You feel so angry, so weak and so torn but you continue to try to beg on the floor
Listen to me you scream but you loose your breath when you realize this woman was in fact death

Death can be beautiful, or so she may seem but inside shes rotten, cold and so mean
Don't do what she asks of you please; she's is all around us and your heart ache she sees
She will feed off of your pain, sorrow and emptiness until she can take one more victim off of her checklist
This is not right but this is the tragic end; remember death is the enemy and not a friend.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2013
I walk the paths you once did
And lay in your spot in my bed
My mind cant help but wonder
if you will return again

Some of my belongings smell of you still
thoughts of you continue to linger in my head
but when will you be back my love
To see I'm alone again

You left me because I was sad
but I was only sad because you left me
a vicious circle of intense feelings
they never seem to leave

I sigh today for the hundredth time
hopefully things will come together
but until then my love
I''ll have to endure the weather.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2015
I thought I was in love but the only thing I was in was denial.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2013
And as the leaves fall from the trees
I continue to fall apart
And as the weather gets colder
so does my heart
And as the rain pours down
I feel myself sink
I've been left bare
as the trees soon will be
Jenn Yeo Oct 2013
I cut my skin in patterns to feel something again
which some find disgusting and others can't comprehend
but let me tell you this when you ask about my scars again
at least my razor blades know how my day went
Jenn Yeo Apr 2015
I have to wonder if anyone wants to hear a 18 year old girl write about death as if she knows something on the topic.
Well death has touched me, in fact, death has kissed me.
Death wanted to **** me even, no word of a lie.
Death is flirtatious and comes on a little strong. He had his hand down my pants before he knew why he liked me.
He said the scars on my arms were a little too inviting.
His breath on my neck felt sweeter than you'd believe it to be.
I am young, but not naive. I knew he had plans and I knew what he wanted to do with me.
Jenn Yeo Aug 2013
Like a bird swimming in the sea
Or an anchor floating in the sky
I did not belong
I tried to find my place
But each time I felt more lost than before
I did not belong
And so I began to wonder if it was this world we lived in I didn't belong in
Or maybe it was this skin I was trapped in
Perhaps my brain wasn't assembled just right
But one thing was for certain
I did not belong
Then it hit me
My difference could rather help me excel or hold me Down
It was what I choose it to be
I may not belong
But this is me
And I can make this work
If I want to
I am a balloon In a tool shop
An open window in the sea
I do not belong
And that's okay with me
Jenn Yeo Sep 2015
I guess I'm just not who you thought I would be
Because I have a cold heart and I have cold feet
Can you feel them radiating from me?
I don't know why I tried to compete, I always end up in defeat
I truly thought I could be more this time
Of course for you but also for I
I want to be ethereal, I want to be a miracle
I'll never be a thing but used material
should I try to love you or love myself?
I don't know which one would be worse if it didn't work out
It's been so long since I was important to you but I have no doubt
This is what it's always been about
Jenn Yeo Jan 2014
If I could go back one year today
I wouldn't have watched as you walked away
I would have followed you down that hall and kissed you goodbye one last time

If I could go back one year today
I would tell you what was wrong when you asked
I'd tell you how something didn't feel right; that you needed to stay home

If I cold go back one year today
I would have replied each text faster
I would have told you all the things I needed to before it was to late

If I could go back one year today
I would have stopped you
through the wind and rain I would have found you
and never let you go

If i could go back one year today maybe I'd still have you, maybe things wouldn't be this way

But I can't go back;
I can only go forward
*without you
Jenn Yeo Jun 2015
And if I were to die, what would it mean?
If I crashed in a car or was carried out to sea
I know others who've passed and I wish I was in their place
Because they are the ones needed to stay
So if I was to die, what would it mean?
If I laid on the traintracks or was left to bleed
I know others who struggle but let me go first
If you were die the pain would be worse
What if I was to die, what would it mean?
If I swallowed pills or didn't wake up from my dreams
I know others who grieve but with me its be relief
So what would it mean if it would mean anything
Jenn Yeo Feb 2015
I don't think there will ever be a day when you call my name and I don't run
My eyes burn red and it hurts my head because you are who you swore you'd never become
Every night I dream of you, do you hear my screams?
Every night I pray for you, do you hear my pleas?

I don't think there will never be a day my heart won't break
it's been seven years, hundreds of wounds and new hands to shake
*I scream until there's nothing left, am I in your dreams?
I plea for you to hang around, but do you pray for me?
Jenn Yeo Aug 2015
I will never be mysterious and ****
Charming or beautiful
Talented, unattainable
With a smooth voices and a soft chuckle
I will always laugh too loud
Talk too long with a choppy voice
Have frizzy hair and a crooked smile
Awkward and accident prone, boring
I'll never be my ideal thought of beauty
Will I ever be okay with that?
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
Believe me when I say I'm not pleased with myself that I've ruined your favourite lyrics, songs and hell maybe even your favourite albums.
That you can't eat or sleep without thinking of me.
or you hate morning, noon and night because you've seen me at all three.
There's no where you can go to escape the thoughts, I've been everywhere and said everything and I remind you of all you lost.
I don't smile at the thought that I'm engraved in your head and your skin and anything else I've ever touched
or that you can't feel anything at all or you feel way too much
I'm not happy that if it doesn't have anything to me you wish that it did
That when you think I've left you here I come again
I'm sorry I've poisoned your veins, I'm sorry I'm in your brain, I'm sorry you can't forget about me.
I wish I could forget me too.
I wish I was dead for me and for you.
Jenn Yeo Jul 2015
I saw a photo of you
and all I could think about was dying
so I cut myself with my mom's new knife set
and I cried in the shower for hours
I have no one to ******* talk to
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
I am screaming
Screaming so hard my throat is raw and throbbing
That my lips are dry, cracked and bleeding
Screaming filled with such agony within me
So loud my lungs will collapse any moment  
Screaming with such force my eyes begin to burn
That my body is left shaking and sore
Here I am screaming and you sit beside me
And all you hear is silence
This isn't poetry, this is just the truth.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
I wish the wind would pick me up like dead leaves and throw me across a busy street
As painful as my death would be for you is as painful as living is for me
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
In the end what it comes down to
is all those who said they'd be there aren't
and all those who said they care don't
and all those who said they promised broke it like it was never made
Because as humans we don't care about anything
Not our earth, not ourselves and certainly not eachother
tonight I needed you, I needed ******* someone
and you weren't here and maybe you just never were
Who are you anymore because it feels like I never knew you at all
Jenn Yeo Nov 2014
A perk of winter I've found is having to wear long sleeves
Because no one would think to ask what's underneath
Jenn Yeo May 2015
I hate seeing how long your hair has grown
It makes me realize how long it's been since we last talked
Jenn Yeo Nov 2014
I never know when it'll happen

But it'll hit me

like a wave
like a wall
like pavement
You could have stood up any time
And I wonder how you couldn't have thought of your friends
or your family
or me
and rose off your knees to continue to breathe
You could have stood up anytime
I wonder if you knew that I'd never hear a guitar the same
once I knew how tightly the string was wrapped around you
as if it was a snake and you were its prey
you could have stood up anytime
I wonder if you knew that every time we pass train tracks in the car
I have to lift up my feet
and I think about how no matter which one I cross
it'll lead me to where you were that night
You could have stood up anytime
I wonder if you knew what would happen to me
that'd I'd spend time in the hospital
get voices in my head
blame myself, blame everyone else
You could have stood up anytime
I wonder if you knew that I would think
day after day
sometimes on purpose, other times not
that you could have stood up anytime
*But you didn't.
Jenn Yeo May 2014
He was a boy who I knew was special but I couldn't exactly pinpoint why at first
After talking to him I noticed I had started to gather pieces of him in the cracks of my skin and under my nails that I desperately tried to scrub off
I could not and would not allow myself to get attached and let him inside of me
But then it got worse because he spread to my head and in my heart in such large quantities I couldn't filter him out if I tried
And most of me no longer wanted to
Quickly he flooded my entire body and being
And the worst and best possible thing happened; it was love
Something I couldn't verbally admit but I felt it down to my core
He was so ******* handsome in the simplest ways
I fell in love with the corners of his mouth and how they'd lifted when he smiled and the dimples that were exposed
Or his eyes that could never lie to you because they always held so much raw emotion
It wasn't even his looks but his heart and his mind
I loved all the things about him he despised
I fell in love with the way he spoke up when he heard someone talking about something he was passionate about
and I fell in love with when he didn't speak at all and he'd look up from this trance he was in and he looked so lost and alone
When I looked in his eyes the world blurred out and grew quiet like it was only him and I
It may have lasted a few seconds but it was hours in my head
But it was even more special when I looked into his eyes the darkness in my body seeped out of my pours and the demons within me kept quiet
And maybe no being can cure what is inside someones head
etched into their bones
and sewn into their spirit
no being can battle others demons
but if you can make the noise in your head that been there for so long you can't count the years on one hand disintegrate
vanish into thin air
then my god, that it love
I'll be honest I'm terrified
Terrified to love someone as much as I love you
Because it's the big things, the little things, the things that are here and the unknown
It is everything about you that I love and it's hard to keep ignoring
I cannot imagine how awful it would feel to have my heart broken by you
Or to be the one to break yours
We are both fragile being one drop away from smashing
But I will keep you safe if you do the same for me
I'll hold onto you with two hands for safety
and if I ever slip I will gather your every piece and glue you together
And maybe it won't last but we could at least try
Love is not an easy thing
Even now I sit rambling over you, spilling these jumbled thoughts and using words that will never be arranged well enough to show how much I love and care for you
But I do it because I am filled with so much love I can't help but spill it out through my fingers out of fear it may fall out of my mouth when I'm not paying attention
This piece started off with a "he" but now if ending with a "you"
Because you are no random being, you are my everything and nothing
and all that lies between
When I look at you now, It's hard to see how you aren't special  
And I hope you look at me and feel the same.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
Sorry for writing so much but I finally had things to say
I bet I had convinced you I was actually okay
Jenn Yeo Oct 2014
And with all the pain that plagues me
All the unfortunate events I've endured
The knives in the back
and those that slide across my body more
With memories filled with heartache
and a mind filled with rage
my life has been a horror novel
I'm afraid to turn the page
With all these things that haunt me
including mistakes that I've made
Nights I've spent alone
or haven't left my bed for days
Made myself sick
but couldn't clean up the mess
So much in the head
but empty in the chest
close my eyes and wish
but nothing ever comes true
open my eyes and see
that no one ever follows through
cried for help
to have the door slammed in my face
offer up my affection
to just be turned away
the only words I hear from others
are lies they wished I'd tell myself
No one wants to deal
with a girl who needs help
Some nights I scream
but every night I cry
Here I stand still
No one appreciates I'm alive
thanks.
Jenn Yeo Jun 2015
I felt insignificant
small, unimportant
until I was the reason for scars
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
The sad truth is I would have done anything to be yours
and I still catch the heartache dripping through my pours
covering me in a layer of disgust until I can scrape it off again
but I notice myself thinking what we could have been
and maybe when all my skins cells replace each other once again
I'll live in a body that you haven't yet met
a body that won't beg to be yours
because it's never felt your soothing touch or heard your kind words
Jenn Yeo Aug 2015
Maybe I feel such hate for myself
because I've given all my love away to everyone else
And there's no love left for me
Jenn Yeo Dec 2013
I recall one night when we trespassed onto church property
To kiss on the wet grass until time got blurry
Or that hot summer day when we kissed on every surface of your home
All day long because we were all alone
Or when we'd go for walks and talk about wherever our mouths lead us
And our hands held without realizing and love seemed so effortless
A time when you were excited for me to meet your friends
You were not ashamed of my loose odds or ends
When you were the one who begged me to stay and promise things would work
But in the end it seemed although I was the only one hurt
Do you ever think of these memories too
Or am I still caught hopelessly fallen for you
Jenn Yeo Jan 2014
I know I spend too much time too late in the night thinking of all the things I said and what I did wrong
And I see that when I look in the mirror I think of what'd you'd say to me today if you would say anything at all
I find myself rehearsing lines that I'll never speak because I don't have the guts to do so
Running through moments in my head that will remain there because I know they'll never happen
I think of all the places you've touched me and they feel so different then the rest of me
When I close my eyes I can almost see it all so clearly
But here I am alone in bed writing words you'll never read, spilling feelings you'll never know and shattering my heart that was never whole.
Jenn Yeo Nov 2013
I want is to die.
And not like I failed my math test or my boyfriend broke up with me die.
Or not even die when you feel the blood rush to your cheeks because you'd never been more embarrassed.
But die as in I no longer want to live and no longer feel guilt because of it.
Because this earth has nothing for me left and nothing it can say to keep me.
I want to feel my last breath burn my lungs as it slips through my lips and into the earths air never to be found again.
I want to feel my heart beat slow and forever stop cold and empty in my chest.
Humans are born with this fear of death etched into their bones but I don't think I was born with such a gift because I honestly can't think of a beautiful thought than to die.
Its not because I refuse to see the beautiful, little things in life because I've been surrounded by beautiful bright lights at night, even experienced love with the kindest of souls.
But even that sometimes is not enough.
People have told be its selfish to end my life but I think its just as selfish to keep someone here when they don't wish to be.
And people have told me its cowardly to **** myself but sending yourself to an unknown place with unknown consiquences seems pretty brave to me.
And so we get back to there's nothing you can do or say to save me.
Well I never asked to be saved and I see no reason to be.
I welcome death.
Jenn Yeo Aug 2013
It seems although every rotten thing has something beautiful ****** inside waiting to be discovered. I am terrified that if one day I fight my way through the darkness I won't have that, in fact I'll have nothing at all.
You see I am not an autumn day or a flower in the desert; there is nothing special about me. Nothing immaculate has ever flowed through my veins.
Maybe if I sink back into that pain so I will never have to face that day.
I am what depression has molded me to be and without it I am nothing but my bones and blood.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
In that moment my heart stopped and the world stopped along with it
I never knew silence could be so terrifying
I tried to breathe but oxygen wasn't there
I was empty
When I came back to reality it hit me like crashing wave
It left my head spinning and my mouth dry
I finally understood the words my father had said to me with his voice shaking
I'm so sorry
Tears streamed down my face that burned my skin
I reached out but nothing was there to grab
I felt although I was drowning
How could you **** me like this?
Maybe my problem was I saw beauty in storms
and you were the biggest storm I ever saw
I chased you, I loved you
But you destroyed me
And worse yet your storm never died down completely
I still feel gusts of wind from time to time
I hear you in the rustling of the trees and I still do not hide
I am so terribly broken
So how do you heal when you can't clean up the mess
parts of you dying and parts of you dead
I will not appear strong for I can no longer pretend
*goodbye
Jenn Yeo Dec 2014
I guess I shouldn't be surprised things are ending the way they are
We're a natural disaster, I've known for some time now
You can call us a hurricane or earthquake, it doesn't really matter
We'll still be life altering, faith shattering and pain enduring
At the same time you can't deny how incredible we are
but we always leave nothing left, not even for ourselves.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
Thoughts of death come to overwhelm me similar to how they used to
Except now they're a little less painful and a little more accepted
I can't help but think of everything that's went wrong
And I haven't forgiven anyone, including myself
I'm just filling my body up with guilt to later drain from my veins
My friends go out to drink while I stay home and think
I wonder if anyone can feel that these excuses are fake
That I'm not really sleeping but rather wide awake
I wish people understood that I'm shutting myself away for their own good
So many people want a second change and I don't even want the life I have
I wish I had the courage to leave it all behind, But I fall asleep crying every time.
So next time.
Next time.
Jenn Yeo Aug 2015
Don't fall in love
It'll never work out
Be nothing instead
It lasts forever
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
I only write when I'm falling in love or when I want to die;
Can you guess what's on my mind tonight?
Jenn Yeo Aug 2013
I was told from day one I didn't have to be perfect
I just had to be me
Which was a complete lie
Because I would get scolded and yelled at
Time and time again
For simple mistakes
Or worse
Just being myself
I couldn't even understand what it was I did wrong
And I would apologize
For not being perfect
And they lie to me again
By saying I didnt have to be perfect
Nor did they expect me to be
But everytime something went wrong
The fault was mine
And trust me I would willingly take it if it was
But it wasn't
So again I would apologize for not being perfect
Which made it worse
I guess perfect people aren't supposed to say sorry for not being perfect
Do you see how I'm trapped here?
Expectations so high a space shuttle couldnt get you there
So what was I to do?
Oh right
I was to be perfect
More of an angry rant, sorry
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
I recently lost my voice
Good thing I have nothing left to say
And you can't  force me to speak anymore
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
I'm falling apart faster than I ever have before and the only person who can save me can barely say my name.
I know you'd argue that you offer your help but even then what am I to say?
That I can barely look in the mirror because you can't bare look at me?
That I find it hard to talk because you don't want to hear me speak?
You know that I'm in pain but you have nothing to say?
When I go to touch you, you just pull away?
You don't look in my eyes, you hardly smile anymore
but with anyone else you seem happier than I've seen you before.
So what should I say when you ask me again?
That the person I value most in the world is beginning to put us to an end.
I hate myself so much and I'm sorry I've ruined everything. I don't know what to do anymore.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
I talk to you every night to make sure you're alive
But what if one day I forget?
I wake up in fear that you might not be here
And what if one day I am?
I try to tell you that I love you and I care
But what if you don't believe?
What happens when my everything's gone
and again I'm left to bleed?
Jenn Yeo Aug 2013
"It gets better"
"You'll be fine"
"This too shall pass"
I've heard It all and the list doesn't end, but that they don't tell you is:
it's not true

And maybe Its not true because their pain was different
Or maybe they didn't have pain at all
But for you to look me in the eyes and tell me "Children in dying in Africa" like I don't know that
And for some reason that's supposed to make the pain infused in my veins, pulsing through every inch of me just go away?
Because it didn't.
And does that make me an awful person? To know there are those less fortunate then I but I still continue to rot from the inside?
I may not know their pain but I know what pain feels like.

I come from a broken home, substances being abused.
Angry words thrown around like snow ***** on a cold winter night.
It was like our family was on maximum volume but I couldn't find the mute button.
My personal items were sold for my brothers drug addictions and I was blamed for not hiding it well.enough.
My fathers girlfriend refused to let me see him yet I continued to plaster a smile on my face because it's what you all wanted to see.
Ans then I lost the only thing that made me feel again. My lover committed suicide.
The only parts in me living died and I was lost.

And then I'm forces to go to school with kids who's life ends three times a week.
Because the wrong boy asked them to prom or they didn't get backstage passes to their favourite band.
And still I expected to be happy and I'm selfish if I'm not.
Well then call me selfish.
Because I refuse to lie to myself.
This world Is a **** hole that we all gave into.
We marry to get divorced and we have kids That will ultimately hate us. We buy by things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we dont like and for what?
And understanding this all I'm still expected to smile and accept what has happened.
I don't think we get cancer to learn life lessons
Or that people die young because god needs another angel
Because thats excuses for why our world is a mess
And I wish I could be like you all and follow these excuses aswell but I can't.
I see the truth and that what will **** me.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2014
When I try to speak, the words never come out right
Like I try to say how much you mean to me or my constant fear of being left behind
My mouth spills out words in orders that don't make any sense
So I'll just sit in silence, it's my only option left
I'm sorry.
Jenn Yeo Sep 2015
Why do I bother with love
It only leads to me falling apart
Jenn Yeo Dec 2013
Are you aware of how many times in a day I hear the phrase **** yourself or myself used?
I constantly hear it from my peers, friends, teachers, authority figures, family, and even strangers.
It's used in math class when kids complain about the workload.
And again when the teachers warn us to be safe in gym class.
It's said by my peers to kids over the internet in hopes they'll feel as terrible as they do.
Used when my family tell stories of embarrassment.
One may argue why it's such a big deal and this is what I'll tell you:
Suicide is not a joke; it's not something to casually throw around.
It's someones life forever gone and many life's changed because of it.
That's the big deal.
It's not okay to say "This makes me want to **** myself!"
or "You should just **** yourself!"
nor is it okay to say "Are you trying to **** yourself?"
I refuse to believe it is a part of modern day language.
Currently the Oxford English dictionary has approximately 220,000 words in it.
That means there's no excuse to use those words the way they are currently being used when you have that many options.
And if I have to ask one favour, it's to respect mental illness and the deaths every year that happen because of it.
Nearly 1 million people across the world die by suicide each year. That's 1 death every forty seconds.
All of whom pass away because of this have family and friends grieving.
Saying that is not only offensive but can be triggering to those around you.
It's not okay and there is no longer an excuse.
Take it out of your vocabulary.
More of a rant but I'm tired of hearing this everyday.
Jenn Yeo Aug 2013
At first I tried to blame it
On my broken home
Who left me crying
Night after night
Alone
And then I tried to blame
The bully from school
Who did her best to make me feel
Ugly and uncool
Blaming my friends
That's what I did next
Because they never cared and always left
Told me I was a mess
So then I blamed my boyfriend
Who broke up with me one night
The only thing I had at the time
That made me feel just right
I blamed school
And my failing grades
The disappointment in myself
That would never change
Blaming all the girls in school
Who were prettier than I
And made up rumours about me
That made me want to hide
Blamed the suicide of my soul mate
Because he was all I had
And it killed me to know
He was never coming back
But what I didnt realize
This whole time
that is was I who did this to me
The fault was mine
I let the demons in
I torn myself down
I cut my skin
Although I might be better now
I tied the nooses
I cried myself to sleep
I made impossible expectations
That I possibly couldn't meet
I was to blame
It was me
Im my own worst enemy
I ruined everything
Jenn Yeo Aug 2013
Today I thought of something that would make you smile
To only feel my heart dropped when I realized I never could
Today I stared at the clock and tried to push it back
Maybe I could be with you again if it would
Today I looked at the telephone thinking of a call I should make
But soon realized I never can
Today I stared at my scars
And questioned if you'd still love who I am
Jenn Yeo Jun 2014
There is a hole within me, one I cannot fill
I felt it rip me open one day and it hasn't left me still
It refuses objects, people and substances.
Nothing seems to fit just right, no matter what I offer it
It's as if it's a black hole and carrying these things away
instead of building up my offerings to fill it day by day
I can feel it growing larger while time is growing thin
I'm struggling to find the perfect thing to fill it with
But nothing yet has been the same size or shape
I've become puzzle with pieces that won't participate  
If I do not I'm afraid it'll overtake me and I'll soon become nothing.
When I just wanted to be whole and maybe then be something.
Jenn Yeo May 2015
There were nights we spent together
when you thought I was asleep
but my eyes were just closed
and I was listening to you breathe
and because you thought I wouldn't remember
you moved my hair to kiss my neck
these are the moments
I cant seem to forget
Jenn Yeo May 2014
Every night you walked alone
at 6 pm or 6 am
or anywhere in between
The destination was unknown
but that not what bothered me
It wasn't where, what or who
but mainly why
parts of me believe it was that you were wondering where everything had went wrong
or that you needed something to feel alive
or maybe you were just looking for something
or maybe you were just trying to run away
but those are moments with only you and the world
your feet with the empty street
and breathing in the air
and I am so envious of all the nights you've shared
because it's then you don't hide or pretend like I know you do
The wall is dropped and the truth comes through
One day I'll stay up all night and wait for you to pass me by
And it will just be the world, you and I
And all the secrets you've revealed to the night
I will know too, and invite you inside
Because maybe you won't need to wonder, need, look or run anymore.
Maybe you just needed someone to listen but you only had the sleeping world.
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