on a scale of 1-10
I am terrified
terrified of putting myself out there just for it to be ignored
or even worse
unnoticed
yes I like you
do you like me?
is there anything I can do to help?
please just give it a chance
it won’t hurt to try
i’ll be here
waiting

The back of my throat is covered in the hieroglyphics of all the words I'll never say to you

When you walk like you have 12 gage shotguns for lungs,
Your very breath is a weapon.

When you walk like you have pistols for hands,
Your very touch is deadly.

We did not ask for such a violent biology.
But we were born in the tide of oppression and forged in discrimination.
We did not ask for this.
This skin is a painting we do not get to wash away.
This story does not end when we wake up.

We live with the audacity to think we belong, knowing.
This was never out fate

For a minute
I actually thought I was okay
And then
I heard that song
The one we danced to
In the moonlight
Under the stars
At midnight

You love the roses - so do I. I wish
The sky would rain down roses, as they rain
From off the shaken bush. Why will it not?
Then all the valley would be pink and white
And soft to tread on. They would fall as light
As feathers, smelling sweet; and it would be
Like sleeping and like waking, all at once!

But if you only knew what's always on my mind,
maybe you'd understand why I am smiling all the time