I love you .
Yet I don't. Know you .
To love , is to obey ,
Follow your decrees.
To put you first.
To be holy ,
Set apart .
Your will , not mine .
Divine .
To have no evil ,
Yet  I stumble and fall again and again .
A hand up for me being exhausted for being just who I am.
To have a need to follow when all seems hopeless .
A new being , a new creation .
To love other friends who have long since given up the ghost of your friendship .
To love grace and mercy just as if they were my own .

Is the first sip of coffee in the morning
The silence that comes after mourning
Children’s laughter
Beautiful sunsets
Coming to terms with things
Goals accomplished
Affection with no return expected
Living with integrity
Helping humanity
Agreeing to disagree
Breezes on a hot day
Grace is all around us…many blind to it..

Those days, when the ache stuffed away under the laughs and small talk, smiles and cheerful chatter, starts to surface and you beg for it to go away, but that tightening in your throat seems to get stronger..constricting your breathing..sending your mind into a whirlwind and everything around you feels shaky.
Those days..
I know you can relate, if you couldn't, that first paragraph wouldn't have swallowed you whole when you read it.
Your heart feels so worn thin, that any small daily mishap brings you to tears.
Crying it out, until your emptied of the lull of life's pains, letting the salt just pour from your eyes and gush..let it well and burst as many times as need be..fall into the emotion until you force your heart to heal.
Pray...utter those words as if it were your last chance at taking another breath..drown out the forceful negativity that seems to devour you whole..allowing the love to suture you back together again and even though broken, so beautifully stitched and woven from purposeful pain and sleepless nights..paths that seemed to have no end and lives seemingly torn apart.
There's truth to the statement: Time heals all wounds.
After every eruption of the heart and continuous attempts to piece it back together..
The heart is formed again, just taking another shape .

Do it to african musk.
Roll it like finely carved dust.
Hold it like dynamite just.
When angels fall, damage must.
Together bind it with trust.
Yet time goes on without rust.

Peering through crimson curtains,
Into the life of someone new.
Peeling away their layers,
Until all becomes black, just like you.

My impossible dream is to
live in the historical times,
of floating castles,
and flying white pegasus.

To fly above the skies,
and see the city full of,
blooming irises.

To eat bread, cheese & soup,
after a long day's work.
Yeah, a girl dressed as a boy.

To ride a boat,
promising a future,
with my dearly beloved.

To run across the city market,
against a group of armored soldiers,
with their spears held up high.

To save a noble's carriage,
from a midnight's ambush.
To jump above a moving vehicle,
saving young girls enslave.

To hear sonnets,
and watch cultural plays,
of a tyrannic king,
and the hero of the masses.
Where revolution ignite,
without a sword,
without a single enemies' blood.
Just a hero, bringing peace,
to our dear land.

I shall weep for the demise
of my fellow comrades,
and the tragic fates,
of all pure hearts.

In the end,
I will plant a seed,
that can withstand any weather.
Then I shall look up in the sky, saying:

*"I HOPE MY PRAYERS SHALL PASS THROUGH TIME."