I genuinely hate this situation
I put myself in isolation
To honestly see what I am to everyone
As I thought before I am no one
Days of silence could turn to weeks
Yet no so called "friend" speaks
I am lost within my own contradictions
As were my initial predictions
So here I sit ****** up off something
Knowing all I'll ever be is nothing
I can barely see what I'm writing
With my blurry vision and this dim lighting
But it'll all be over soon I hope
I'm so far past trying to cope

So close to falling off the face of the planet
I wouldn't ever expect you to understand it
I'm in my soul's embrace with eyes closed
I'm entrapped in these beautiful prose
I am safe here in this bliss
Where I can't remember what I miss
No I'm not jaded I'm fully aware
How long will I be gone before someone cares?

I would love hear what you think it looks like to care
Because I think we have very different definitions
Can we have a show 'n' tell, could you possibly share?
My hope is a target and your words are ammunition
And you spray the whole ******* thing
But trust me I'm not bulletproof
No matter what song I seem to sing
You always seem to see right through
How could you possibly know me so well?
Yet be so absolutely unaware
Feelings haven't changed there are no secrets to tell
I just don't think you care

I can't feel my face
Do I know this place?
I've been here before
I can't take any more
I'll fall off the ******* map
Pick up and go and never look back
Afraid to say most wouldn't notice
It took awhile but trust me I know this
Everyone wants you to try so **** hard
But God forbid you expect an inch when you give a yard
Than again how much could I possibly comprehend?
I'm just slouched at the keys, sketched out, at wit's end
This is just a poor excuse for a freestyle
Stream of consciousness once in awhile
I'm so close to ending my effort to care about others
I've had family had friends had lovers
But never found my mutual muse
So I'm stuck with these things I abuse
Mary Jane and John Jameson are good company
Though they tend to lead to a different me
I've come to be scared of my mirrors
No matter how I stare I can't see clear

Do you hate me?
Because I know I would
Of all the things I see
I never do I what I should
Drunk at the keys
Going absolutely crazy
Writing whatever I please
While the record plays me
Drives my inspirations
I'm sorry but I'm not
All these crazy sensations
Cause me to give everything a second thought
Double takes and instant replays
Slow motion to analyze every motion
But it only leaves me in a daze
Stuck on your love, my drug, my potion

Call up the doc
Time for new meds
Stuck on the cell block
Feeding my simple head
Solitary confinement is so loud
At least until they bring me pills
I can't say that I'm proud
Of all these cheap thrills
Of all the things I abuse
At least they're always there
Something I can constantly use
To cover up the fact no one cares

I wish you would've just set me on fire
It probably would've hurt way less
Better than knowing you're a liar
Then again I'm just a ******* mess
Just an obsessive addict
Looking for the next best fix
You were just another drug I picked
Was it all just for kicks?
That's how it all feels
You caught me up in your eyes
Persuaded a heart you could steal
And now I wish I'd died