It is so easy
to fall apart within your hands
and there
I leave my soul unfolded
                            uncontrolled
to its side, I place the weight
of dreams imposed
                    upon the heart
hoping you can shape them
make sense of them

I leave half
             of all the restlessness
that makes me brave enough
             to hold you close
                                      and then let go

I never thought I'd believe in fate
     until I met you
I never thought I'd believe in 'happily everafter'
     until I held you
I never thought I'd believe in true love
     until I kissed you
I never thought I'd believe in 'the one'
     until the day you asked me to marry you
I never really thought I'd believe in anything
     **until you

I am a borrower
collecting things that shine
all stashed in cracks and hidey-holes
where the rafters meet the roof
in the basement floorboards
lift one and you'll see
the treasures I've collected
two gorgeous glassy eyes
seven gilded antique buttons
a bouquet of sweetly fragrant lilies
a gleaming jar of pixie dust
three noble barristers
an Irishman netting butterfly dreams
a sorceress of the endless prairie
windmills like soldiers all in a line
the saddest porcelain doll
a small brown bear
trains screaming by on underground rails
a sprinkling of desert blooms
six jack-in-the-boxes so I'm always surprised
the hairless stuffed dog that bit me as a child
a Rickenbacker bass softly riffing the blues
a farmer's Ovation to accompany my woes
seashells that sing the ocean breeze
a merman from the Northern seas
tucked away in every space
packed within each sweet hollow
these simple pleasures I have borrowed

in this quiet room
i can only hear the rain knocking on my window
i can only feel the storm in my head
dark and it's getting darker
light won't ever shine
cold and it's getting colder
it's autumn in my heart
dying with every leaf
i haven't got the will to live
my body aches
millions of needles through my skin
my heart dies little by little
i embrace the pain
i'm holding my breath
i find joy when closer to death
i am drowning in tears
cutting in my flesh
the rain from my veins falling harder and harder
red on my legs
red from my wrists
an ocean of misery i'm falling in
i cannot swim
i'm drowning in a sleep
that i'd like to last forever.