Your love is there or it isn't,
There is no in between.
I do not no what grey is,
It's all black and white to me.

30 years now I've been here
A drop in the bucket
A lifetime full
Realizing that the majority of my 20's
Have been spent loving and caring
For those who's hands have been helpless
Plans laid out that I drew blueprints for
Coming together in squeeze tights ends
I need to learn to let go
Blowing out candles one by one
Each their own silent wish
A milestone reached
*Happy Birthday to me

We used to celebrate together
The occasion of our close births
Cause to throw one hell of a party
Now I must go alone in our revelry
The edges water colored with wistful wishing
That you were here to help blow out all of these candles
I miss you in every little way
Jeremiah, Happy Birthday

And now the
Sweetest voice
Is a whisper of an echo
Of a memory.
And pictures fade,
Muted colours of shame.
And the mind
Plays ***** tricks.
And the heart
Drowns in silent tears.

Maybe you are broken too
Maybe you aren't okay
But hey, as long as we were together
I knew everything was going to be alright
Now you are gone, and others came alone
And I just sit here, and sing a bad song

I can be quiet, while I scream from inside
So run away *****, you have no where to hide

We were misfits
the neglected *******
of a backwards world
that rejected us
not because we were sick
demented or dangerous
but because we didn't prescribe
to a preconceived notion
of what a functioning citizen was.

Not rotten enough to spoil
behind the bars of a prison
just competent enough
to work menial jobs
and drown our sorrows
at the corner pub.

We swallowed this hard truth
the same way we drank our shots
with no chaser
and at times it burnt
maybe even made us tear up
but we never let it beat us
(too strong for that)

We were beautiful
resilient beasts
that could carry the weight
of the world upon our shoulders
and it was heavy
but we would tell ourselves
"doesn't every world need an atlas?"
so we went on holding up the sky
when no one asked it of us.

I never could save her.
I tried. I swear I tried
But she was just too far gone.
I couldn’t find her
Inside the too twisted depths
Of her lifeless eyes.

They use to be a vibrant green
With passionate oranges rings
Dancing around her pupils.
Now you'd never guess
There was ever anything vibrant
Held within that girl.

-ARI