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Mar 24 · 76
kenz Mar 24
His one “bad” habit
He doesn’t do school work out of school
yet he has straight A’s
He hates getting out of bed in the morning
yet always makes it on time
But when it comes down to her he tries
He tries to shows her love
Even when she doesn’t want it
He respects her wishes
Even if it hurts his own feelings
He prays that she comes around
So his heart won't hurt
But she's just as lazy
And doesn’t care about him
And his burning heart
Feb 26 · 36
kenz Feb 26
The one thing to humble him is a…. certain person
Million of girls chasing after him
but this one he choose to be stuck on
She pulls on his heartstrings by ignoring his messages
And dodges him in the halls
Chooses friends over him any day
For everything they may desire
He cherishes the little love he gets
But it's clearly not enough
He write a paragraph as she write a sentence
He buys a gift, she gives a thank you
He waves her down, she turns her back
It’s so one sided yet he won't leave
His eyes swell and his voice cracks
As lies slip from her lips over and over again
He tries to compose himself for me yet I always notice the change
Its small but there, underlining with every word he says
The puffy eyes and breaking voice
The shaking of the camera
Being put on pause for what he thinks is an answer
He asks for this and that to make him feel better
But what he wants is… advice
Advice on what to do, advice on how to make it better
Advice on how to make them stay
But what he doesn’t want to hear is the truth
It’s that he must stray away
Dec 2021 · 23
That Girl
kenz Dec 2021
that girl is..
she never knows how to shut up
she is  trying to hard to hid it but still
shes acts like we are 6th grade
she doesn't know how to stop  
Hi, im kenz and im that girl
Dec 2021 · 41
My Fault
kenz Dec 2021
"your words cut deeper than a knife"
they truly do...
lies slip out of your mouth easier than telling the truth
months of telling you my personal business
all for it to backfire on me
I let my walls down
I guess that is my fault
Dec 2021 · 43
My Current Life...
kenz Dec 2021
Constant thoughts running through my head.
The lost of one friendship spiraled
and now its tons.
one after another
name calling and bullying have become common
when its me its ok
lies after lies have unrevealed  themselves
months upon months of fake friendships
down the drain.
Nov 2021 · 32
The widow
kenz Nov 2021
I stand big and mighty.
Indeed I do,
know I'm just a small little mouse,
in this house for two.
Missing you everyday,
without our kids that are gone to play.
Lonely I am,
and I know you are too.
well see you soon love
I so love you
This is about a widow
Nov 2021 · 38
Hello.... Goodbye
kenz Nov 2021
It's me again
crying and sobbing,
panicking over assignments.
academic validation is what I seek.
crying and sobbing,
panicking over dance
being perfect comes with a price
crying and sobbing
panicking over fitting in
being "normal" is better than not being normal
its better than whatever is hiding within.
cry and sobbing
panicking, just panicking
life of a teen,
well at least me,
Now its time for me to say goodbye
Oct 2021 · 384
kenz Oct 2021
Im OK.

Its raining.

Its cold

People ranting to me

Even when im not OK
I pretend to be...
Oct 2021 · 812
Daddy’s Little Girl
kenz Oct 2021
Fast asleep on my porch
in the middle of the day, dreaming my worries away.
Like how my doll broke and I’m still mourning the loss.
In my sandbox that doesn't have sand,
replaced with my most beloved stuffed animals,
I lay there not knowing what’s happening outside my world.
My mom shakes me awake with worry covering her face.
She screams at my father, how could he forget me here?
More fights.
Dad’s never home.
Never has time for me.
Doesn't talk to mom much.
Red flags, brighter than a firetruck, I didn't see at this young age.
Dad’s moved out.
I have a new sister.
But at least I get a new puppy,
and whatever food and toys I want.
Plus more presents.
Another sister.
This one has a different mom.
The fake mom is mean.
She thinks she's my mom but she's not.
I scream and cry until my dad comes back from the store,
wondering what happened while he was away.
He takes my side of course.
I’ve always been daddy's girl and always will be.
Things are changing a lot.
I don’t like it.
Dad got a house with her,
2 new dogs with her.
Of course my puppy gets neglected.
Favorites are picked and now I'm last.
This fake mom’s gone at work all day
while I look after my real sister and my fake one.
I grab my phone that I use only for emergencies,
and call my mom, my real mom.
“Dad’s sleeping…Fake mom’s at work…My sister’s are crying.”
I stubble over my words, not able to get them out due to panic.
“I'm coming. I promise.”
The fake mom hears it and grabs my phone.
“You can't call your mom while she’s at work. And where did you get this?”
‘Hurry mom.’ ‘My real mom.’
I run away, grab my bag,
make sure my real sister is good, and grab her hand.
It's only real if she has the same mom I thought.
My mom gets here thank god.
Fights with fake mom,
fights with mom,
fights with me.
I hate dad's house.
I was first, now I’m last.
I feel out of place.
July 6th, 2019.
Less than a month after my birthday,
he left.
Left to live with this woman states away.
A woman that probably doesn't care about him.  
I don't talk to my dad,
I guess it works out that way.  
I wanna help, really I do.
P!lls, dr!nk!ng, p@rty!ng.
No job, no phone, no contact.
I just sit and listen to my mom trash talk him.
I know he’s awful, but he’s still my dad.
I try to tune her out, keywords hit my eardrums.  
“Lazy.” “Selfish.” Worthless.”
‘But he's still my dad.’
I wonder what happened to daddy's little girl.
The one that would make him dress up,
or color while sitting on the balcony.
I wonder how it would have been if he stayed.
I have lots of questions to ask but I can’t.
Fear covers my body every time I  try to text or call.
No happy birthday this year because I was too scared to answer.
Christmas coming up and scared to ask for a simple thing:
To be daddy's little girl again.
hehe yea
Oct 2021 · 213
Dark swings
kenz Oct 2021
Darkness and fog appear
They overwhelm the air
The space
The silence
It consumes the distance
Its closing in
And closer
It comes
Reaching to each object
Pulling and pushing itself in all directions
Here and there
Darkness and fog
They are here
Hearing is hard seeing is harder
The distance now feels even further than before
kenz Sep 2021
I'm so sorry this is not that poem
Not that poem with rhymes
Those cute little short ones
But this will be longer
A TW needed
A way to escape from hell
Cut, cut, cut
I cant people will see
Blame it on dance
Bruise after bruise
Injury after injury
But im not cutting
It is not self h@rm if it's not with a kn!fe
But it is
Im hurting my body
Pushing it past its limit
But how could I see that when i'm blinded by the feeling of doing it
Pushing past the pain
YES i did another day
Going to school pretending in fine
YES I did it one more time
Mother asking if I need help
Fooled her again did it
But I know I need help
I want help but can't seem to reach it
I'm sorry that it wasn't that poem….
Self h@rm could be anything and sometimes you don't even recognize it.
Sep 2021 · 216
My Great grandmother's Soup
kenz Sep 2021
Her cracked old hands from years of work
Chop away at these vegetables for a delicious soup
On the granite counter tops
The cream colored kitchen turning as safe as her warm hugs
Into this safe haven, an escape from boredom
“I'm gonna miss this”
“What do you mean it's almost done”
I love creative writing.
Sep 2021 · 417
kenz Sep 2021
Banti (ban-tee)
Such a odd name
But the name I called him
My beloved grandfather
The man who pushed me to do my best but without the pressure
The man who was always there
The man who put family above anything else
The man who was the easiest person to talk to
My grandfather
Leaving behind the people who needed him
Leaving behind his family
Leaving behind the pain that he had to push through
Selfish is what I am
He was in pain and sick
He had  a whistle because he couldn't get up
This whistle is all I have left
He made his mark
A great mark
A mark that will forever stay with everyone that knew him
A mark that left his dog depressed for days without eating
A mark that left many crying for days
Keywords that tell his story in my words.
His story.
My words.
My grandfather…..
“He loved his family above all else.”  (quote from his obituary)
Inspired by my creative writing teacher.
Sep 2021 · 419
Writing is like a bee
kenz Sep 2021
Writing is like a bee.
You never know if the bee is good or bad
If the bee will make you  sad
Or if the bee will sting and make you mad
You never know
You never know if the bee will be so sweet with honey that you feel fuzzy inside
You never know if the bee will make you laugh with a little tickle inside
You never know
You know if the bee will hurt you or land and on you and teach you
a lesson that not all bees are bad
You never know
All bees are different and that’s okay
Some bees hurt,
Some bees just want to bee friends,
Some bees tell a beautiful story that fills you with life,
And some leave a mark that stays with you forever.
You never know
You may have a favorite type of bee
And may hate another
You never know
I wrote this is creative writing and thought I would share.
Aug 2021 · 124
kenz Aug 2021
Shes bleeding...
The knife gets driven in further...
There she is...
she can see me...
Im already dead.
At least she made it.
Aug 2021 · 455
Natures tears
kenz Aug 2021
rain is a form of nature
its carefree and elegant
yet, has words of many
its words dancing has is flows gently down....
down to where the people live, down to where everything bad and good happens, down to where it is needed the most and most of all down to where people are killing the rest of its kind.
May 2021 · 277
kenz May 2021
I slowly turn orange.

The stress taking over my body
and letting it become anxious
once more

the feeling of being burnt out
slowly takes over

It takes all my sense
and adds discomfort to them
making anxiousness grow
once more

Everythings orange.
Inspired by the color burnt orange and the idea of always being burnt out.
Mar 2021 · 146
kenz Mar 2021
why do the best people always die first?
when you pick flowers you pick the best ones meaning they are the first to die
god likes to do the same
remember that next time you go flower picking
Mar 2021 · 78
kenz Mar 2021
trying to fix the past is like
rewatching a movie and expecting a diffent ending
focus on the furture cause that new ending will never come
Mar 2021 · 426
kenz Mar 2021
remember that a glowstick has to
break and be twisted
before it can glow
Mar 2021 · 89
kenz Mar 2021
Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase

Focus on getting a grip on the railing instead of falling
Mar 2021 · 464
The issue
kenz Mar 2021
Hiding feelings has become normal
putting on this mask of a fake smile
crying silently at night into a pillow
always feeling like the issue
Mar 2021 · 388
kenz Mar 2021
White is completely empty
its nothing ...
yet it brightens up all the other colors
its makes a room feel bigger

— The End —