Once*

you
would have jumped
on my bed
shouting
screaming

"Wake Up! Wake Up!
Sleepy head!"

then scrambled in beside me
kissing my nose, my chin, my lips
until I awoke - smiling
...laughing

Now

you
don't even apologise
for never being
around

I drowned all my memories of you,
and let them drift to the bottom;
sea foam bubbled as you sank, and the thick green froth gurbbled when you plunged-
into the abyss, my cavern of exile.

I had to **** you so I could live;
but the fish, too, became intoxicated,
and so they were gone; crushed coral littered your descent into the black ink, to the places my mind won't reach.

My feet placed firmly, barefoot, caloused, in the chilled sands of time,
watched the water go still, and the sounds of life, birds, and the wind ceased, all the while the salty smell of defeat rest across the monotone blue.

I had to **** you.

I've never liked Valentines Day
Don't think I ever will
Never received a single flower
No bouquet to put on a window sill
No heart box full of chocolates
No card with a cute, witty note
No red balloon or small stuffed animal
No tiny gift wrapped with rope
Single, all alone, that's how its always been
No one to be romantic with
Just me, myself, no men
Some people say it's for the better
Don't have to deal with heartbreaks
Never understood why this is
always assuming I've made too many mistakes
I blame this all on me
Don't try to ask me why
I guess you could say i'm scared of being hurt
So to myself I have to lie
I've never liked Valentines Day
Don't think I ever will
Never received a single flower
No bouquet to put on a window sill.