Dylan Mcconnell

Jan 2018

honeyed

he grabs my leg and his claws sink into my barely-there thigh
his hand slips in the denim of my jeans
and when he kisses me,
it tastes like venom
i feel his toxin slither through my veins like a serpent
his ardent fangs gleam as he nips my neck,
and i know that he is the true definition of vermin.
my blood, red as cherry currant
crosscurrents with his slimy soul
his talons delineate my jutting ribs,
surely, he craves the control?
i writhe as he caresses the inside of my upper leg
and i realize,
that this will never end

- i've taken some of my personal experiences and channeled a lot of emotion and energy into this. i hope everyone can feel what i'm trying to convey and see the imagery i've tried to implement
- trying out a different format hhaa. i spent a good while on this one, and i'm very proud of this particular poem

#snake #poison #blood #kiss #lust #monster #*** #control #abuse #hell

Dylan Mcconnell Jan 2018

I'm Homeless, And . . .

I'm homeless and I still have a place to call home.
It's called shelter.
It's called briarpatch youth services.
It's called home.
I'm homeless and I still brush my teeth.
I'm grateful enough to have those amenities brought to me at briarpatch.
I'm grateful and cared about just enough to have shampoo, conditioner, and deodorant, along with body wash, toothbrush/toothpaste, and bra's.
I'm homeless and I'm part of the LGBT community.
Meaning I'm the majority of the minority.
I'm part of the 40 percent.
I'm homeless and I have mental health issues.
I'm the majority. (depression, anxiety, PTSD)
I'm going to be okay.

I don't know. Just random rambles brought to you by my head.

Dylan Mcconnell Dec 2017

Lies Teens Tell You To Get By:

"i'm fine"
Oh you're you say?
What happened to those scars on your arms?
What happened to the crying I heard at 3am?
What happened to you?

"no i don't like her, mom"
Why not, she's getting a three point o GPA.
She's in honor's classes...
Lastly, she's humane! She has a life sweetheart. Something I so dearly beg you get one day.

"i can't, i'm busy."
****, I ain't busy.
I ain't doing jack for work.
In fact, I'm sitting home right now.
Watching T.V and eating a carton of ice cream and breaking a bottle of *****.

"i won't give into depression"
Really?
You won't attempt at 3am when the voices tell you you're better off dead.
You won't use when you're too riled up sit straight?
Lastly, you won't cry when you've been sitting up for 3 nights in a row thinking of your ex mother?

"i'm staying at (best friends name's) house tonight"
Hell, I'm not.
I'm actually smoking at -stoner's- house.
I'm going and having *** with literally everyone whose ever loved me.
I'm going to be happy.

Dec 2017

leeannejjang

Mother

I looked at the woman in front of me,
I asked her, "How can you love me so deeply?"
She smiled at me.
A smile much brighter than any pearl I saw.
She answered, "because your from me. inside of me, you lived for 9 months."
And tears suddenly fall from my eyes.

#love #mother #poems

Dylan Mcconnell Nov 2017

10 Things I'd Like To Tell Every Teenage Girl:

One.
If he hits you, he does not love you.
If he lays a hand on you he does not love you.
If he calls you a *****, he sure as hell, does not love you.
Two.
The world does not revolve around you.
I say this because I thought that.
The world just orbits, not around any one person or thing.
Three.
The amount of makeup you wear does not matter.
He won't love you more if you wear concealer.
Mr.Doggett won't give you an A if you spend 20 minutes on your eyeliner.
And you won't love you if all you do is cover it up.
Four.
The only person you need in your life is you.
You are the most precious thing on this planet.
And if anyone tells you otherwise, the do not love you.
Five.
Time solves everything.
Wanting to finish drivers ed?
Time.
Wanting your birthday to come faster?
Time.
Wanting to die?
Mother ******* time.
Six.
A higher power exists, made just for you.
God?
For you.
Buddha?
For you.
Your body?
For you.
Seven.
Cut the negative people out.
You don't have time for this.
You need to focus on you.
You need yourself and a good rosé.
Eight.
Be kind to everyone.
Everyone is fighting their own battle.
Your fighting your own battle
Believe in everyone including yourself.
Nine.
The number on the scale doesn't matter.
If they love you, they'll stick around.
Stick at 200
Or 400
Even 122
Ten.
Other people will hurt you.
People will hit, kick, and punch you.
People will call you a **** and a *****.
And people will pull you close just to throw you away.

Dylan Mcconnell Nov 2017

P.T.S.D

I take medication

Zoloft, Xanax. Paxil, Prozac, Prazocin. I consume them like water; the only thing keeping me alive. The only thing worth living for. The reason I can function the way I do.

I avoid.

I avoid Luke and Dawson (K.C.) Illinois and Green Bay. My mother's threats, and my fathers grasp against my neck. I avoid.

I have flashbacks.

I used to see him, her, and them in my sleep. Her being the evil stepmother. Him being my cousin and classmate. Alas, them being the bullies. I played it out, event by event, play by play.

I self medicate.

Marijuana and nicotine. Cutting and burning. I would to it until I became numb.

Lastly, I have "distorted blaming"

Only blaming myself. For not saying no. Or not grabbing the doorknob. Or only taking my anger out on my mom.