In a world full of chaos you find happiness
The happiness you find is in something you've created and nourished for years
You love what you see and you love it with every inch of your mind, soul and, body
The love is reciprocated on many occasion when the suns rays radiate
But on rare occasion, there are clouds that obstruct the beautiful rays of the sun
On those cloudy days, everyone can see that your shimmering aura has been dullened
Is your happiness hurting you?
Is your happiness leaving you?
Dark days lead to dark thoughts
You are not to blame you are human and we all feel the same.
The sun will choose when to shine bright
And those days the sun seems to have failed you
The dark clouds will teach you a new part of yourself
But in the meantime, your happiness will be there waiting for the dark clouds to dissipate
Your happiness will not forget you
the sun will go back to beaming and shedding happiness throughout your life
to reassure you, you will be alright

Every minute spent with you is blissful and filled with peace
your eyes lock me into a paradise that no ones knows about but us
your smile makes all my worries blend into the rest of the problems of the world
you hold me tight enough to make up for all the lost hugs I never got that I needed
you hold my hand with a tight grip that reminds me of your reassured love
our drive home is quiet because we both know we will have to go our separate ways
you obey the speed limits and make complete stops
allowing each car in sight go before us as an excuse to spend a little more time together
our day started carefree and cheerful but we both know its a race against time
my paradise is allusive because it all goes away with one word and a last kiss
silence allows just enough time for thoughts to start building up in our heads
But for me, the only thought that crosses my mind is when will I see you again
and why must I go back to a place that I call home that doesn't feel like it
I get out of the car and look at you wishing I could reverse the clock just to be able to have just one more hour with you
the irony of it all is that I have to leave my home to go to my house
I kiss you and say the one word that creates my paradise allusive

I want to be okay
I want to be perfect
Every day I reiterate the words those with confidence preach
Over the years I've learned to be kind
But I started a war with myself at the age of nine
Every day I would fight my demons
Some days they would win and leave me bleeding
I have won and I have lost
Now I think everything good comes with a cost
I want to love fully and deeply without hesitation
How can I though when I have been let down on so many occasions
I'm scared but I want to love and be loved
Am I ready? Or will I be misjudged
Sometimes I want to scream and shout
I want to give up and ask someone to let me out
I wait for the day that I will not wish to be home while I sit in the place that I call my house
I want to be free and I want to be me
I want to breathe without retrain
I don't want any feelings being retained
I want to fly high
and go beyond the sky
I want to love what I see in my mirror
and to be able to see everything clear
I want to be okay
but I don't want to be perfect
I want to be okay
I want to be happy

Every word you allow escape your lips that you've dedicated to me resonate within
Every glance you take at me burns a new memory of you into my mind
Every delicate touch you give me sends waves of electricity to all the corners of my body

Your love, your love is like no other;
silky, smooth, no bumps nor resistance
I've not only learned to love you yet, the kind of love you give
I have been taught lessons in the form of rituals throughout my whole life but you've taken that and started to teach me discrete ways of thinking and I like it

I like you, I like your eyes, your smell, and your touch.
I like the way you think and the way you talk
The way you effortlessly string your words together and connect your thoughts to those who surround you

Every second we are together I never fail to stop studying you
what is it about you that I love most?
is it your smile or your eyes
is it your laugh or your voice
is it your generosity or empathy
is it your mind or your body
I have come to understand that I will never stop studying you because you are different and ignite new revelations in my mind  
And I think that is why I am in love

I miss when I was 6 and my parents would say let's go on a random adventure
I miss when I was 7 and would say I will one day be an inventor
I miss when I was 8 back when I thought everyone was my friend
I miss when I was 9 and thought the fun could never have an end
age 10 the fun started becoming harder to find
age 11 why did everyone stop being so kind?
age 12 I wanted a break
age 13 my heart started to ache
age 14 I felt invisible and wanted to disappear
age 15 was not my year
age 16 I became friends with different kinds of bottles
age 17 I started comparing myself to models
After 18 years of being alive, I am finally starting to get to know someone I will share an eternal love with
I am me for me and no one else
I love me for me and no one else
I am okay and will always be okay