When I was 12 years old,
I stood by my bedroom window
and looked at the stars whenever
I was sad.

The way they illuminated
reminded me that even through
the dark times, I'd find a light.


Several years later,
I still looked up at the stars.

Things were different
because I used them to make wishes
on how much I wanted
to make you laugh and smile.

In just a short amount of time,
you became my light.


Now?
I still look up at those stars,
but all I'm reminded of
is that not all wishes come true.

I can't depend on things
that are light years away
like the way I depended on you.

Much like the twinkle of the stars
will dull and fade away,
the twinkle in your eyes when you
see me eventually did the same.


I don't want to look up at the stars anymore.
**(k.p.)

My acts of stubbornness had played
through my mind like an endless
reel.

I let myself believe that I could have
moved on without you, but then I
drowned in the shallow crevices of
my mind, haunted by regret.

In every twist and turn, I saw images
of you and her, happily reuniting, as I
was left in the dust.

Only then did I realize that our lives
were never meant to conform to my
thoughts of a happily ever after.


But if only I had risen above my
pride and anger, would you have
loved me then?

If only I had accepted your apology,
where would we be now?

If only I had been a solid enough part
of your life, you would not have
moved on so easily, right?

If only all my efforts had been a good
enough reason for you to fight for
me, would you have withdrawn your
sword on what could have been?


I had questions, but all the answers
had been embedded into the heart
of somebody else's.
**(k.p.)