oh to long
but long I do

on the cusp
of greatness and not
in superposition existence caught

immobile as dawn breaks
for a day not yours but the world's
as it ends
each eye aches

never out always in
don't use those words
they betray sickness

oh but I am

tales of yore
echoed then
echo now

of your blinding perfection
bone against bone
not one past another

you are what he seeks
but not I
not anymore

weep tears of paint
balanced in your imbalance

in this moment of weakness
I come back to you

have you any clue?

wartorn and moving
I come back to you

trembling roars make timber
shiver by the bank

and Beanpole stands contemplating
he'd be doing the right thing for the wrong reasons

dead vines or maybe dying
no tears no flaccid crying

a ray of sunshine makes them crawl
at first they whimper as if being mauled

color, all bright and sweet
dripped into the linen sheet

coating each thread up and down
ease the fire, **** the frown
but not really

reality slips away
as color shades the grey
in its own image

all while it creases happily.

the sheet then came to realize
it had stuffed its mouth to muffled cries
a mouth it didn't have

what shall the sheet do now?

color, oh so bright and sweet
how can the sheet come to terms?
it must strike a deal with color or find a way otherwise.

I can hear it crying again
why is it always water and bottles spent?

wish it stays away this time for good
not unlike the light in me

at least right now
at least in this moment

cover up, boy!
for it is cold this summer
and shed your dashing coat in time
for the leaves will rise in fall.


a brisk pace is all I need, father.
warmth this summer, breeze in fall.

cover up, child!
Lord!
heed!

keep him safe.

I fear that I'll make old mistakes again,
or maybe new ones that ride the waves of my mind.

That whilst fearing I've already done it.

but it's ok
I'm ok
I am not my thoughts
I am not who I fear to become
and these thoughts are a testament to that.

i rose with dawn
and now plagued by thoughts
usual and unusual

my eyes burn as my mind speaks

fur blocked her view
as she walked past me
to pay her dues

unaware that her muse
painted all 'round
rising hues

writhing colour
becoming in December

crept up to white
pulled back by slumber

Praise be! Wake!
Praise be! Wake!

deep dish, tomato in my mouth
"wouldn't potatoes be nice?"
in a moment, everything went south

God ******!
you ruined the flavor.

red lights
blinding whites

cold as ice
hot food

warm embrace
pretty face

high-speed chase
Hey Jude

wait
do deers eat almonds?

mind, a flipbook
alternating stories

soul, a river,
storm and rage

roar and battle
love and hate

one for me
one for the fake

but it dies down

for moments in time
against a picture for mind
a lake for soul

and they forget.

but only a moment,
the others won't allow

we must roar and battle
for now

Wet string around my neck,
should I let it dry?
Worn it down, past the crest
and felt it against my sighs.

May I take it off?
"No, it's there to help."
But cries won't let it dry.

I must die then.
"No, don't, you're thinking too much."

People confuse me
and it's not about them

It's about me
Is that narcissism?
Is thinking about myself being a narcissist, narcissism?

Make these thoughts stop, please
I can't breathe, it's not about them
or maybe it is
I try my best to listen

"I am who I am and I'll be who I'll be"
Stuck in this prison


People confuse me
and it's not about them

Maybe it is
How do I act?
Should I say this?
Should I say that?
Don't fall into the old patterns idiot, it's not like that
You're not him

"I am who I am
I am beautiful"
Do it alone.

You confuse me
Who seeks the attention?
Should I?
Should you?
Should we?

Our voices melt together
Are there more than two?
I don't know

"Psst, check your phone
Psst, you don't want to be late, do you?
Just a peek, you'll know"

Who's talking?
I don't know

I confuse me
Am I the lie that I told?
A product of my own mistakes

What does it take
to be this lost?
Am I really lost
or is this confusion a lie?

What if people don't confuse me
neither do you
neither do I
what if it's about no one?

Help.