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Alaynah Sep 2018
To the ones who feel
Less than
you’re so much more

To the ones who feel
i’ll remember you

To the ones who feel
you’re worth it

To the ones who feel
like you don’t matter
You do

The world is such a beautiful place
With you in it & it wouldn’t be the same
Without you
  Sep 2018 Alaynah
Eyes are blind,
You look with
the heart, the soul, the mind
  Sep 2018 Alaynah
I want you to love every shattered... jagged... broken... piece of me.
Love my twisted heart and tattered soul...
My restless thrashing mind, bring me peace in time...
I don’t want you to look at my crumbling mountain and flee...
Would you take the time,
To love me for me?
Or would you turn away in disgust, laugh at my weakness?
I wouldn’t blame you, nor would I be shaken...
you wouldn’t be the first to leave me with my heart
But please be the first to hold me in the cold and fill me with warmth...
Unfinished but here's what I have so far...
  Sep 2018 Alaynah
I long to be, the beautiful disaster you see, every time you look at me..
  Sep 2018 Alaynah
You make me feel like I'm floating in the darkness...
When your lips touch mine it's like I can finally breathe...
And when you hold me close, pressed against your firm body, you make me feel safe, and protected...
I hope to be the star in your darkest nights, and the warmth you feel on your lightest days...
  Sep 2018 Alaynah
I didn't mean to, please forgive me?
Alaynah Sep 2018
His eyes are my escape route
They take me anywhere I wanna go
Which always leads right next to him

When he looks at me
I feel my soul become furious
Somebody has me bothered

I crave the scent of his cologne
When the smell of it on my sweatshirt
F A D E S away

The limited-time only reminder
that at one point
He was on top of me
And in that moment
I was all that mattered
to him

The anxiety that lurks through my body
Everytime I think of him
The feeling in my body
Everytime my brain remembers
a happy moment
With him
Or sincere moments
we shared

Two broken people
I broke my own heart
To give him pieces to fix his

My mind and what’s left of
my heart are at war
Because of him

Because of him, his smile
And his quirky laugh
that quench the desire
Of the simplicity of his existence;

My heart won’t let me be at peace
My mind tells me to let go

Reflecting on post trauma
Nothing is better than feeling
Wanted but safe
By the person you want the most

But nothing is worse than feeling
You’re not good enough for the person
You want most

Looking into his eyes again
Constantly searching for reassurance

And then suddenly
the source of happiness vanishes

you were only a distraction
While what was really wanted
Wasn’t accessible

allowing attachment
is unbelievably dangerous
But learning to let go
is worse
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