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 Apr 2018 JA S-Mine
Kanak Kashyup
I have become that crippled castle which even after several strive unable to tread towards the shining doom and excepting whole heatedly heartache gloom.
Condition which is out of control.
 Apr 2018 JA S-Mine
laura-jessica
14 year old girls in my high school are out here getting pregnant, mean while i cant even get a boy to text me back?
 Apr 2018 JA S-Mine
laura-jessica
when my poetry draws a picture in your mind,
what do you see?

do you see a scared little girl?
                     or
do you see a strong women?
hm
 Apr 2018 JA S-Mine
laura-jessica
binge,
cry,
get angry,
stick my fingers down my throat,
make myself sick until i ***** blood and bile,
repeat.
 Apr 2018 JA S-Mine
Raven
Me
 Apr 2018 JA S-Mine
Raven
Me
No food
No sleep
I can't let these things reach out and speak sweet lies
I can't let food call my name
I can't let sleep drown my thoughts

I shouldn't eat
I can't sleep

This is me

I am broken girl
Who can't eat
In fear I weigh too much

I am a broken girl who can't sleep
For my thoughts and memories
Haunt me too much

I am a broken girl who answers 'how are you?'
With 'I'm alright' even when I'm not even close
Because I don't want you to worry
I don't want you to fret
Over a broken soul

I am a broken girl who says 'I have been busy'
when someone asks me why I haven't done something
I have been busy just not in the way they think
I have been busy trying not to give into hunger
I have been busy fixating on how I'm broken
I have been busy
But not in the way they think

I am a broken girl who has let her demons
creep up on her too much

I am a broken girl who has surrendered
her soul

I am a broken girl who dates so she feels
worth something because I don't when I'm alone

I date because I need to depend on someone
Because I am not dependable for anyone
Let alone myself

I date so I can hear someone say I love you
So I can hear someone call me beautiful
Cute
Amazing
And so many other things
Even if I don't believe it

I am a broken girl who has lost so many relationships
Five to death
And so many others just because they left
I was no longer good enough
No longer happy enough
No longer
PRETENDING

I am a broken girl who pretends
And when I stop people leave

Because I am too broken

I am too clingy

I am too demanding

I'm just not enough

Or I'm too much

THIS IS ME

But no one sees
Until I let them

And when I do they worry

But please don't worry
Because you didn't when you didn't know
So why worry now?

I'm still the same me
You just couldn't see all the flaws that my eyes do

You don't see the way I do

I see a girl who's eyes are too big

I see a girl who isn't thin enough

I see a girl who's hair doesn't suit her no matter what

I see a girl with too many scars

I see a girl
But I don't

For all I can see now is a walking flaw

And no one knows that
THIS IS ME
April/ 19/ 2018/ 10:19 AM
 Apr 2018 JA S-Mine
Ghenwa
I think I wrote this 30 times not knowing how to explain or shape the sentences but here goes nothing

Pop, one pill in the morning.
This one will make you happy

Pop, one pill at lunch.
This one will make you numb.

Pop, one pill at night.
This one will make you sleep.

Pop, another, whenever.
This one, will calm your heart,
Make you get out of bed in the morning,
Make your work harder,
Make you concentrate,
Make you
Make you
Make you

Alice feels jealous, her pills make her larger or small
But not happy.
But Alice doesn't know,
After every pill,
Headache,
Nausea,
Dizziness,
Fatigue,

Alice feels, but I don't

Three hundred sixty-five days and some other dozen
After pills
Slowly but surely
I started feeling again
Sadness had a taste
And so did food
Laughter had a meaning
and so did tears.

And If you ask me what I remember of that time,
I'll tell you, not much.
It is no way to live, when you live numb
When you should feel things, but you don't.

When the struggle is no longer sadness, but the lack of it
When it is not finding happiness, but not feeling it..

Another three hundred sixty five days and some dozen
I feel things on my own
Get out of bed on my own

After pills,
I pray nothing gets in my way of feeling things on my own.
 Mar 2018 JA S-Mine
Miseria
I met a lady in red with glasses on
She sits near the heavy stone
as i enter the room
she smiles and waved her hand
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