Our love
Is double suicide

My inner self
wears a devilish smirk
mocking my healthy living.

It’s seen this cycle
many times before
life’s not that forgiving.

Smiling because
it knows my truth
whispering in my ear,

your pleasure lies
in pain my friend
this act is insincere.

Get up early
eat an apple
run a mile or two.

Unless you wipe
me off your heart
self-worth will not accrue.

You don’t believe
not yet I know
from here it’s plain to see.

Because I am you
not drugs or *****
you cannot hide from me.

What is it like
to play the last card
Playing with cards
from the shards of your heart
What's it like
to see in the dark
light a little spark
What's it like
to see in black and white
What's it like
to feel a rainbow inside
What's it like
to feel it all together
What's it like
to enjoy
but suffer
Ask me what it feels like
trust me I know
What it's  like to laugh
when you have suicidal thoughts
What it's like
to have tears of joy
While the monsters in your head
play with your heart like a toy
And make you cry
and cry
Cry over and over
When pain is your drug
and you haven't been sober
You always tell yourself
it's gonna be over
But what is it
the joy or the torture
When will you hang
a rope to your collar
And the blood fro your wrists
keeps pouring
over and over
Or maybe one day
your heart won't be polar
and black and white
will burst into the sky
and a rainbow writes
It is finally
Over

And then you remind me of why we left

I still love you
I really really do
And I’m hoping you see this poem
So you read the words I couldn’t say to you
I’m still in love with your hair
And the way you stared
At me
I’m still in love with ur lips
And your smile
With your broken pieces
And ur chips
I’m still in love with the way you comfort me when I’m sad
And the way you held me in your arms
Until my tears stop
They way you kissed me slow
Or when u kissed me fast
The way you kissed my chin
The way you kissed my neck
I miss your body sleeping next to me
I miss when our souls join
I miss you with my all

Look into my eyes
I wanna see
What I look like
Without my scars