leaves are just fallen
and Spring is so far away
why does the warmth stray?

A happy home
An untroubled life
A port in a storm
Away from strife
A healthy body
An untroubled mind
A touch of skin
A love to find
A friend to trust
A lover who'll give
A moment in time
A Life to Live

maybe? the apple of your eye?
the exhaled breath, you held?
a gratuitous golden sigh?

I could be the paint that dried
that you so intently watched
or the grass that is greener
on the other side
except you never jumped the fence
I'm just a skirt you tossed

I wish I was a lone fish
in the bowl of busy life
except wishes are fishes to you
so industriously multiplying

How about,
*I'm your wife?

Why can't I be as pretty as the little girl
that sits next to me at work, she seems
all long legs and golden skin,
20 long years younger
thin body poured into size 6 jeans

Why can't I be pretty like that?

I wish I was as pretty on the beach
next to the bikini clad lovelies
all long haired and impressive assets
Why can't I be like that?

I wish I was as pretty as my friend
sitting next to her on a barstool
crowded away from her, male backs
facing me, surrounding her, I'm a fool!

I wish I was pretty
or even attractive
or even winsome
or cute
or

or

or

I wish, I wish
Oh, how I wish
I could be an entree
even if I'm not
the main dish

or

or

The fish
caught on the hook
an acceptable catch
not to have the hook
ripped from my flesh
just to be thrown back

I wish I was pretty
I'm positive I was one day
Someone loved me once
and my children say

Mummy, you look so pretty
when I decide to make an effort
but no matter how hard I look
in the mirror
I just can't make their words fit!

I wish I was pretty
a beautiful disguise
I wish I was pretty
in my eyes

so today I said see you later
to a huge piece of my heart
I said talk to you later
and then my world fell apart

I wanted him to be a man
to celebrate the right of passage
instead I texted him within hours
only to receive this message

I am here in Room 203
Tell Chell that I love her please
(because he loves his baby sister
above all things)

and I know I have to let go
of the man that sent me those words
but if anything ever happens to him
they will be the last words I heard

He is my baby boy
a bird, just learning his wings
I'll forever be, Mama bird
wanting to be his *everything

Come unto to us
as you promised
yet you hide

Step up, be a Man
your absence
is damaged pride

Bring forth your rapture
Shower the Earth
in Heavenly Rain

Or else step back
and return to Myth
in disdain

Don't preach to me
in fairy tales
drowning in contradictions

Come unto us

I Wish to God

to be free
of this affliction

Sifting through the confetti
of the nightmare that snowed
me in, looking for the remnants
of my armour that melted
from my skin, I barely breath
through lungs that have been
completely singed by sin
Coffee colored caricatures
laugh softly at an empty
attempt to rearrange scattered
memories, untwisting skeletons
that are bent while crushing dreams
into tin can cymbals arguing
against the tunes that have fled
I deny to partake of the feast
today
I think I'll stay abed

you don't fool all!

you might hide behind
a glass of mesquite
but most people (beings)
read beneath your depth

that may be as shallow as a puddle

but don't we all muddle
through the rain?
and see our feet get wet?

However!?

There are roads that most won't
purposely walk at night
because on such desolate paths
things are wont to cause fright

However

Our Gonzo sits in the middle
of the path
a drink in one hand
and in the other?
Part of an old soul escaped
just looking for the other half
telling jokes about himself
that make others laugh
and he sips their happiness
from a half empty glass

Gonzo is just a paperweight
that sits heavily on a boney frame
John Patrick Robbins is an amazing writer, flesh and blood
A lover, a fighter
that leaves little rays of sunshine
on the path to Insane

face in the crowd
...picture in a cloud
....thought disallowed
.....disgraced head, bowed

free ride
...heart open wide
....holding the lie inside
.....place, nowhere to hide

casual flirtation
...fine temptation
....lost translation
.....unique damnation

pair of eyes open wide
...unfaltering stride
....disgrace that is implied
.....slippy ***** just to slide

it started with the alarm
which I forgot to turn off
because everyday
it's how it usually starts
but not today
I sacrificed some hard earned
hours, for a day, just for me
but forgot the alarm
sigh
So I arise
Turned on my phone
read some poetry
appreciated

every.

single.

response.

to me and my ramblings

Facebooked each piece
of my heart that poked me
while being grateful
they tickle with a finger
and not attack me
at my backbone
with  a serrated knife

thats not nice

Cooked an early dinner
for my family
Because usually dinner time
clashes unusually with drinking time

and quite frankly
today, I just want them to eat heartily
and leave me be...

but one tiptoed through my sadness
because, he seems to be able
to climb any barbed wire fence,
negotiate the most hormonal minefield
see inside my ***** laundry basket
and kiss the hurts I feel

So I'm sitting here wallowing
in just another day
and I hear music from inside
I put my book down and sway

99 Luft Balloons
(in German, not English)
He hates that song with a passion
but he knows I love it.

Lucky Number...
Kate Bush
Fischer Z

Then my most favourite song!

See chameleon
Lying there in the sun
All things to everyone

Run run away

and my heart bursts apart!

It's not just another day
he's trying to make it special
with things to make me smile
bringing music into my life

no, it's not just another day,
it's my birthday
Raising my glass
to Iron Maiden
and Flogging Molly
Metallica and
and Jethro Tull
(the band, not the man)
I'm singing like no ones
listening
I'm dancing like no ones
looking
and I don't care!

It's my birthday
all are welcome
to feel my pleasure
and share!

Jan 28th 2014

down and *****
in an unlit street
her heart beat
once
then
double time
collecting coins
from grasping
fingers
dollar bills
would make her
eager
but her heart beats
once
for just coins

Something to place
over her eyes
when sleep
wants to come calling
So she's not unprepared
when on her knees
she's crawling
in her despair

towards salvation
at the end
of her damnation
she'll take a nation
who never cared
unless her legs
were in the air

I said to you I Love You
As plain as words can be
You whispered back softly
Why do you love me?
Hesitating ever so slightly
How do I form the words?
Expressing a lifetime of happiness
Into just one tiny clause…
To turn the world upside down
With only a small smile
A light inside the darkness
To make it all worthwhile
A laugh to capture the moment
Where happiness is complete
A smile, a shrug, pride in hand
A solid stance against defeat
A tear that’s shed for all that’s lost
A heart with a room for tender
A sigh for all that has gone before
A place of all remembered
You ask me why I Love You
Three words that gave me pause
A secret smile will touch my lips
To utter…
Just Because

~21.07.2010~

I am*
the Turtle
that pulls its head in
just for somewhere to rest

the Ostrich
with head in the sand
at the first sign
of protest

the Sloth
slovenly sitting
unbiasedly
in whatever tree
that holds me

A dolphin, a whale
a rhinoceroses
without fail
disappearing
from those who hunt me

Extinction is a four letter word
but it's inevitable, you see?

Because I'm all them, but not
I occupy the same Universe but
I forgot, there are creatures
less fortunate than me

Often  like them, I'm hunted
for the colour of my skin,
for my difference of opinion
admired to the point of deadliness
But existence is my only sin
It's difficult to be me
Where do I begin?

they say they don't know
where they came from
all covered in mud
the blood and muscle
rotted away when
the ground was dug
and a little blonde corpse
was rolled like dough
into a black hole
then covered in mud
under freshly falling snow

but I know

I know those bones,
they were part of me
fingers and toes
when I was complete

you see...

not my blonde hair,
now just clumps
not my bonny *******,
no more lumps
not the pretty dress
I wore to the dance
not the black patent shoes
there's no chance,
there will be remnants
of soul deep bruises
on my once pretty face
there will never be
any trace
of rough hewn rope
that bound my limbs
just bones left
and a story to begin

don't even know why I wanted
to shape this as a poem
perhaps because Poetry is
the only Love
that ever loved me back
it's all I've ever known
despair lays heavily on a heart
that beat for so many others
now it just beats for one
and even then I wish I could
just stop it, shock it into dying
it beats for no reason, each season
it tick tocks upon the rocks
of where it has been bashed
by another's unsupported anger
unjustifiably angry with no reason
but I don't ******* care anymore!
Used, abused and given little hope
that I made a difference in breathing
just a little same oxygen that you do
it's irrelevant that the eyes are unseeing
the heart is still beating
just don't ******* care!

Do you?

Printed a couple of poems
onto crisp white pages
My daughter coloured pictures
around words that took ages
Hole punched the left hand side
with Pink wool it is tied

Written and illustrated
by Helen and Chelsea

It's my greatest achievement to date
(beside my daughter, you see)

just a blessing in a sneeze
just a cracked sidewalk
treaded endlessly with no talk
just an empty cereal box
just an unanswered knock
just an endless dial tone
because there's nobody to phone
just a wasted space
just another face
just another place
that kisses our mistakes
just like leaves in the breeze
nobody believes
we can touch another
and not leave a mark

As sure as I am that I'd need several paragraphs to dance across the page it simply occurs to me that I'm not only a single player upon the stage but one of many that dance within this troupe and if I had to say something I'd have to step outside the group and pronounce soliloquy except that's not what this is about because I'm not the star upon this stage and I've never really studied the page but in this single sentence I've bought about a truly remarkable find insofar as I find it's easy to write a single sentence and make it work almost as easily as Miley Cyrus can twerk except it's December you see and at the end of the ignorance and loneliness it's just me.

breathe it like a talisman
experience it like a ghost
hang it around your neck
on leather, or fly it
on a summers breeze,
a flag upon a post
shout it on a Spring day
when joy is at it's norm
or whisper it on a Winters morn
to keep to you nice and warm

just speak my name

even if it's at the start of an email
I've been looking forward to
or in the context of relating
forging memories of me and you

just speak my name

for we are the same

The same people in a life
that is so far from perfect
The same people in the dark
who know where to reach

You once said to me

Never know a stranger when you speak my name

Those words are forever my truth
and I ask the same

*just speak my name

don't you ever try to peg me
into your narrow little view
I'll change shapes, so as not to fit
and lay back, just to watch you
scream and shout,
foam at the mouth,
let expletives fly
just to leave me lie
discarded,
unworthy of a place
an unwanted puzzle piece
manufactured to take up space

don't you ever try to label me
I'm not a 99 cent basement bargain
my million dollar price tag got lost
inside your uninteresting jargon

don't you try to pin me
as a monument to your prowess
this butterfly has learnt how to lie
becoming a dragonfly under duress

don't you ever try to change me
I'm resistant to heat and *******
I'm resistant to your loquaciousness
a never ending river of it

don't you ever pigeonhole
the gregarious of my effervescence
nor tunnel upon my vision
because when you understand it
we'll both just be stuck
*inside the same prison

he said
I'm sorry
she said
I'm fine
both knew
each other
were
*lying

Heaven sent
Tamed by Earth
So many things
She hasn’t learnt
Her angel thoughts
Hidden by disguise
Her angel wings
Hidden from his eyes
Her halo has slipped
Trying to live the dream
But all is reality
Or so it seems
It appears there is a reason
To hold on, to pray
That even knowing now
There won’t be another day
He knows that Heaven sends
And Heaven takes
He’ll hold onto all
Until his grip breaks
It’s too late for him now
What is there is not sane
A shell of a man
Nothing left to remain
He understands she’s not real
But he’s ready to take a bow
As he touches his lips to hers
His thoughts are
**** me now
He’s tasted heaven
And his heart sings
He’d rather be buried by earth
Than let his angel loose her wings

01/08/2010

My mother always said
when you hand over a knife
you should always hold it
toward someone, with the blade
in your hand
but it's a little hard
when the blade is slippery
with my blood
and I had to use the handle
to pull it from my back

lah de dah de dah de dum
lah de dum de dum de dah
lah de dah de dah de dum
la dah dum de lah de dah

they called it a stroke
even then, I understood
but I never got the answer

You never spoke again
so I interpreted for you

*My journey has just begun
I travel, but not far
My journey has just begun
You must stay where you are

When you are sitting at the bar
4 hours past midnight
It's not a pretty sight
Where nothing little nobody's
predicted in their field of pleasure
and the acres of green grass
chose at their own leisure
Goats and sheep for upkeep
like raiding a tomb for treasure
Sitting at the end of the bar
watching the byplay like ESPN
voicing Hits and Misses
and deep end missed plays
it's easier to stay disconnected
when you're just calling the game
except, at Last Call,
when all the goats and sheep
found someone to meet
to take home to make hay
and your just sitting,
sipping your tonic and gin
all you hear is
Hey! Last Call!
you can't stay, for another day
you go home alone
goats and sheep aren't your thing
but you think it's amazing
that you heard the bells
Last Call
you missed the play

Many moons ago
In a simpler time
They danced in this ballroom
To music sublime
Stepping out in their finest
Dipping and swaying
Longing and touching to
The sweetest music playing
Lost in each others eyes
As they moved as one
Two halves of one soul
Since time had begun
But now the music is fading
And she’s turning to mist
Time is returning
This dance was on his list
Alone in the ballroom
Lost in the romance
The lonely old widower
Has his last dance

24/07/2010

sometime, last night, I wrapped the sheet that was trapped between our heat, around my slender hips, across my bared chest and I tiptoed across the floor, to the door, that took me down the quiet hall and into the kitchen, where memories of our last fight sat congealing on the bench and on the floor, in between the broken wine bottle and the knife standing on its tip, embedded in the breadboard.
Last night, my love burned to ashes on a pyre of self loathing and bitter sweet regrets as I undressed and laid myself before you like dessert, even though the meal was less fine, and you whispered over and over you're mine and each heartbeat, last night, was for you, each whimper borne from pain, from shame, without a name, last night, it was all for you...
Last night you broke me, last night you spoke to me in ways that will always remain my terror, where you are the demon, ever ruling forever, my secret domain.
Last night, as I ghosted through the door, wrapped in our sweat stained sheet, a whisper beneath my feet and my soul dragging behind me like a long lost sheep...
I entered the kitchen and ignored
the evidence of our last hope and reached out a steady hand toward the breadboard.

This morning, I am a brand new woman

There was less than 5 minutes left.

   She didn’t wake this morning thinking that she had 5 minutes left and what the sudden impact of that moment would have on her.

   She awoke to gentle kisses from her husband as he gently whispered his lips against her eyelids and caressed her face like he was committing her to his memory. It had been their ritual for nearly 2 years now. He was off to save the world, the face of danger just another one in his day and she was there when he got home, to wipe away the horrors that he saw, day in day out. It was her face that helped him get through every day.

   It was only after a solitary breakfast and a sigh, with mundane, routine tasks running though her mind, being mentally checked off her To Do List that she found herself inside the bank just after lunch impatiently shuffling her feet in a line that took even more precious minutes from a life that always expected a tomorrow.

   ‘He doesn’t know!’
She shuffles forward slowly as she unconsciously strokes her flat belly.
‘But he will tonight. Tonight I get to show my total commitment to him by introducing our daughter’
She realizes that she hasn’t moved in line even though there is no longer no one in front of her anymore. For some reason they are all laying on the floor like they’ve turned to jelly and when she is seized roughly from behind she only just notices that she is the chosen one because she remained standing and it’s that defiance that will be punished.

   She is left standing, strapped inside a hideous contraption with a timer that is blinking at her silently, mocking her by quietly saying This Is The Time You Have Left

   And now there is less than 5 minutes left. All the bad men have gone, all except the one or two that bleed silently on the floor. The rest of the bank patrons have been moved out, single file, through the front door and through the floor to ceiling glass windows she can see the crowd gathered, staring at her, standing alone in the middle of the floor, studying her with pity in her eyes and she all of a sudden feels small and so terribly alone.

   Until the cavalry arrive. Overly padded men, moving slowly, encumbered by their protective suits and moving with unhurried movements toward her. She wants to shout at them to hurry but she can’t even move her lips. One breaks away to move slowly towards her until she can see his eyes behind the mask. They look at her with sorrow but they really say ‘I can free you. Feel the confidence in my power. I am here to save the day’

   He bends close to her body to work feverishly at her trappings all the while the timer is shouting You Have Even Less Time To Stay. She doesn’t know why she feels a connection to her savior but she gently lays her hand to his bowed head as if to say

‘I believe in you’

   He turns to the rest of team with a small shake of his head and they instinctively melt back outside the doors like mist on a cloudy day. She understands that all hope is gone and she prepares herself to say goodbye to her only hope and make him understand that she doesn’t blame him and she’s sorry that it will be a bad day for him but surely he also has someone he needs to go home to.

   He removes his helmet and looks down on the face of the only women he has ever loved with a passion that he has never known. He instinctively brushes a gentle hand across her stomach and spreads butterfly kisses across her eyelids and crushes her tightly into an embrace that will commit to his memory a body that was his for a such a short time.

   She didn’t go alone.

Silver linings are just a cover up
Crocodile tears are all you had
Red as the blood I tried to spill
Every time things got too bad
Why did you carve up my heart?

You never thought I would fight back
Outside you're all sunshine and light
Underneath your braggart heart is black

When all that is left
is feeling hurt
When it's the only song
you have ever learned
when it's the only tune
you have ever heard

Can you let it go?

Someone once said to me
Let it go, let them free
but they come back,
can't you see?

Should I let them go?

When I let them go
They still follow me
I tried to free them
but can't you see?

They came back to me

and I can't let them go

Oh no,
Oh no!

I won't let them go

Oh no

I won't

Let them go, let them go

Oh no...

When I'm the only light
they have ever known
The only place
they ever called home
When I'm the one
they miss the most

**I won't let them go

I’ll never love another* he inanely thinks as he flips through 112 channels with a remote that hardly ever leaves his hand and even though each and every program he lands on is a repeat (he never blinks) but he can lose himself inside a world of surreal and not try to face a world that is real. Please he pleads to the TV Just give a something, anything, to be make me free. Show me a world where I can be me He sighs as she walks into the room and sits down next to him and looks like she needs to say something but he doesn’t want her to begin…

I’ll never love another she tearfully thinks as she slips into the room and stands inside the doorway, quietly, watching her beautiful groom, flipping channels almost angrily, like he doesn’t care to watch what’s going on but is searching for frivolity. She sits down next to him and gives him a smile that is much too grim and slips her small delicate hand into his to grasp the remote control and slowly take it away from him so she can turn off the TV and make him face what is in her soul, she needs him to see the ultimate goal. She gently places the remote next to the empty cereal bowl.

Please don’t say it, please don’t please…. Don’t... He is reciting his litany that has been his personal prayer, his own mantra, over and over again because, ever since the cancer, she’s been distant and he doesn’t know how to close the gap. How can you ever get over a life that is cut short? What do you say? Why can’t people look at it differently? How come only one that is loved becomes “That poor sap” What’s up with that? She doesn’t know what he knows. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to hear what she has to say before she goes.

She’s sitting there silently; he’s holding his breath indefinitely. She looks him in the eye with a tear on her cheek, he feels it is now his turn to speak….

Rabbits! He bursts out loud
And she absently rubs her hand across her bald head
Yes she says, mostly embarrassed
I had them tattoo them on to my head
so from afar they look like hares instead…
I’m just so sick of not seeing the fun side of life

He fully sees what it has taken for her to come forward but there is no comforting her when he is stricken with his own strife. It’s time for him to go, she needs someone stronger. Someone who will comfort her in the hours that she needs and can give her some sort of life. She’s thinking that it is time to unburden the only person that ever understood why she chose to live and why it would be inevitable that she very quickly die and if he was anyone else she would not have gone to such lengths to make them understand but she always knew that he would want to know why.

How can she explain to him that no matter how much longer they had left together that it may be short, it may be long but time is irrelevant to a soul mate. It’s as easy for him to explain that there is a perfect reason to try to hide the pain but it seems almost impossible to escape even though there is a reason for haste.

One lets the other go to spare one another, such a waste...

Jan 25

I like to lick the window
he said
Whenever I see somebody
passing by
It's just my way
of saying*  Hi
I'd like to chat to them
but today I'm beat
I can't seem to stay
upon my feet
so I dragged a chair
which was such a feat
from dining room
to bedroom
and I didn't cheat
I actually left the room
for a moment in time
I love the new curtains
by the way
the fabric is sublime
but next time you decide
to rearrange the outside
could you give me a heads up
so I don't run and hide
so I can memorise
the exact amount of steps
I need to take
from bedroom to the out world
so I don't panic
when I try to escape
from the toaster
which asked me
if I was hungry
or the TV that invited me
to sit down and watch
a show or three
I don't like it when they talk to me
I just want to sit by the window
next to the bed
and lick all those people
walking by
**who managed to escape
from their head

when Life gives us lemons
we make lemonade*  (1)
when Life shoots us with arrows
we bleed from the wounds
it made
when Life is just a rainstorm
and we discover
a Rainbow
It's like Life
is trying to tell us
which way we need to go...

It hit muddied from the get go
Life got messy so early
It got ***** and down low
Just hit messier, you know?

It got tangled in briars and thorns
it hit shitastic in a fierce light storm
Life gets messier every forsaken day
This **** is too messed up to stay

It tumbles like weeds on empty streets
and begs like one dollar hookers
or urchins addicted to simple treats
because that's all they get to eat

no one will ignore the lookers

Life got messy at the crack of Dawn
she swallows nails, upon a yawn
she pretends so succinctly, to be the norm

When did this Life become forlorn?

Life got messy when I picked up the knife and turned it back and forth
beneath flickering fluorescent lights and pretended I knew what it's for

Now I'm not so sure

Should I mess up my skin?
Should I mess up my Ex?
Should I carve my initials
into the the tree I thought
we would again meet at next?

Life just got messier
when I realised my age
my circumstance, my stance

It gets even messier when
you dig to the back of your closet
and find your skinny jeans
you'll never ever fit again
without a Godsend chance

Life *****, Life is Love
Life means nothing but,
is everything
Life blows, Life is messy
I'd give everything
to do it again

We met in high school
(I won't count this as a year
but I fear you didn't
remember me as I did you)

I : (1989)
we met again
when your best friend
engaged to mine
I bought the tequila
you bought the limes

II III IV : (1990 -1993)
we dated
on and off
(even though you asked me
to be your bride
1 week after
our friends
engagement party)

V : (1994)
we moved together
to Mackay, away from
your family, great for you,
for mine, I cried

VI:  (1995)
we married
after our Son was born
perhaps you thought
it was time
(I never understood
the delay, I mourned)

VII : (1996)
we struggled
to be partners
and parents

VIII : (1997)
I birthed another Son
we were so happy
Life had
truly begun

IX : (1998)
Two little boys
so opposite
from their
Father and Mother
we still struggled
(but we had each other)

X:  (1999)
You decided your place
in this world
I surprised you
with a trip to Ireland
(you didn't want
to leave your girl,
but you couldn't wait
to meet family)

XI : (2000)
It all fell apart...
minding your own business
on your motorcycle
some stupid driver
ripped you apart

XII XIII XIV (2001 - 2003)
It was just me
paying bills
with no money
feeding kids
on love and honey
endless appointments
with doctors and shrinks
(did anybody think
I'd need a shrink?)
I never blinked, not once

XV : (2004)
You asked for more
another child you said
as affirmation you are not dead
so I bore you a daughter
at 35 ...
(the same year I took you
to the veterinary clinic
to be fixed, well...
it WAS just like
dropping the dog off)

XVI to Present (2005 to Today)
We still struggle
with day to day trouble
but for every year
we survived
I'll give you another,
and a high five

Oh.....
and a
*I Love You

I don't ******* care
what's out there
Nemo was a stupid fool
that little tool
had it good
being the centre
of someone's world
We are just plankton
waiting to be swallowed
by the yawning maw
of an industrious whale
waiting to be eaten up
laying down tracks
like a laborious snail
just slugs
tresspassing upon gardens
that are richly scented
with heavily perfumed
'a la, smell me please
leave your heart to me
and I'll trample it
to get my feet wet'
Little fish in big ponds
get to hide between
the rocks
They get to frolicking
between frocks
of seaweed and coral
that chokes or
cuts like fine glass
Little fish in Big ponds

tend to outlast ;)

wear that
                  wear this

Smile

don't laugh

don't. even. think

about the                aftermath*

little princess
in your pretty dress

little prisioner
naked beneath satin

little faker
pretending less

little liar
it's not the end

I never really focused
on happiness
Never really thought
I had a reason to smile
Each day can be so harsh
but the in between moments
can make it worthwhile
a quiet walk down an empty street
in the moments between
the dark and the dawn
the breath of fresh air
drawn deep into tired lungs
watching fingers of light yawn
across a beautiful start to the day
Then hearing the children laugh
as they come out to play
Spending time with family
when the working week is done
Happiness is not just about fun
It's a soul deep pleasure
that settle upon bones
that are broken
like a soothing balm
It's often less about the spoken
more about the little joys
that sit gently in your palm
I never really thought about the happy
until it was ****** upon my hand
and I find my fingers, gently curling
to hold it steady
I won't let it fall so readily
look closely, they are not clenched fists
*do you understand?

I am not a sufferer, just the sacrificial lamb, I walk everyday unto the slaughter but, I'm not the one ******. One who lives it every day is curled into a ball, just a tiny speck inside the universe I wish I was able to recall..
I would have the sun set upon your shoulders once again, to fight against the darkness but then, if you never slipped inside this hell and walked upon the path, would you be a better man or simply contine to hide behind your mask. I asked you yesterday, and twice today if tomorrow would be more kind? Your answer was "If the Earth shifted 10 degrees eastward then humanity is as ****** as I" and I sighed, for the question you did not understand. What I was truly asking was if you would come back restored,  as the man I adore, the one who I loved through eternity, but you reminded me you are no longer that man, the universe tilts on a different axis, we live in a parallel mind zone and when the time comes to own what's mine, I'll happily live beside you in your mind.