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Helen Nov 2013
Big Mistake* can even barely describe how I let you goad me into coming back to your hovel and how you had to clear a path to your bedroom door all the while giving me such a goofy grin. Unfortunately (for me) your flat mate was passed out naked on the sofa with an empty long neck between their legs, snoring a sonata that would have made Frank Sinatra proud, I don't know how to describe the incredible feelings of vile that I experienced. Where do I begin?

I was so pleased to see the mattress on the floor in the corner of your bedroom that I just literally wet myself (don't mistake that for desire) and as you gently lowered me to the floor (honestly, who lives without bed frames) and I felt something crawl across my foot I fervently wished that we were higher. The drugs I took in the club are starting to wear off and I'm even more exacting sober (I wish I hadn't tucked into my handbag an extra pair of ******* and packed some antibacterial wash to take away what would be left over)

"Wait" I cried as your arms seemed to grow 3 extra hands and you tried so hard to get me even more naked than the day I was born. "Protection? Do you have it" and as you looked at me like I was an alien and an extra head I had just spawned, you went out the door on a prophylactic journey that I was sure (looking at your house mate) would last almost till the dawn.

I took the time to glance though your extensive collection of ******* that you didn't seem to feel that you needed to hide and took a chance of learning a thing or two, that you may like, and stacked them in a neat pile to the side. The sheets that floated on your love bed were just a little to crusty for my taste. I don't really want to lay on top of every other lover that you've had in the last year and quickly removed them with some haste (the mattress underneath was another matter) by then I'm starting to think that we should move to the couch and invite naked Mr Longneck to the party just so I don't have to lay down on something so crusty that at the slightest touch would probably shatter.

sigh I'm here now I say to myself 'Take a bow, you've certainly outdone yourself by raising the stakes so high that even a snake crawling on their belly couldn't miss' so I try to make the most of it and remove my shirt (leaving the bra... it's an imagination thing) and try to arrange myself seductively on my coat I laid on the mattress and await for the first heated kiss

You loom in the doorway with a smile that promises that the hunt was a success and lope towards me with a gait of a predator that is ready to eat a succulent meal that your not prepared to undress. One hand reaches out to skim the lace of my bra as your eyes scoot toward the organized pile of magazines in the corner and you spy Miss July on top from afar and in an instant in between a muted groan and a world that is rocked and only occupied by you alone, with just a ***** and one peep I'm left gobsmacked and your fast asleep!

Yes, I left a phone number,
No, it wasn't mine.
Please by all means, use it but try not to tie up LifeLine!
Jan 22
Helen Mar 2012
lost to independence
lost to familiarity

I've lost so many
to a life that
can
      not
            be


lost to distracting influences
lost to argumentative forces

so many of my friends
have been lost to various causes

I've lost friends to love, and hate
lost friends that I can't find
wandering in a field of starkness
I've lost friends to uneven stakes
and friends that have voluntarily
embraced a hug from the darkness

but,
in the end
even when you feel
I'm not your friend
I'll be there forever
because we have
a
   bond...


I'm the anchor, to your ship
even though you drift
I can hold you, to me
because

*we belong
Helen Jun 2015
Sunset in the sky
low lying
Reminds me of a love
thats dying
So I'll leave the Sunset
where it lies
and think of our Love
*as a Sunrise
© Helen Doogan 1990
Helen Oct 2015
heed over heels
*** over ***
I fell for it
Written August 4th 2012
found while scrolling through my Unlisted poems
it made me laugh over 3 years later so I finally made Public :)
(more likely I just forgot it was there) :D
Helen Nov 2016
Oh little love
Hold that head up
He's really not that
into you
Maybe it's because
you called him
Baby (daddy)* or maybe
in that first conversation
you sent a picture
of your *****

He got that cream
from the cow
what do you expect
him to do now?

Of course he's going to
continue to milk
some stupid cow
for free
but trust me
He's not in love with you
He's just *******
on a tree
marking territory

but you ain't the only bush
in the forest, lovely...

Oh little love
just remember
that **** pic
he sent to you
went through
10 million gigabytes
before it got to you

Little love
I beg of you
of backlit screen
and tattered pride
anonymity
is a great place to hide
even on the darkest night
when your phone screen
is the only source of light
when words are not actions
no real kisses or hugs
The Internet is no place
to find love
Helen Sep 2015
the mirrors reflection
only ever spoke of her
as
weak, alone, a ghost
pitiful, mournful
wonder-less at most


it was her place to hide
but the mirror
LIED

she punched it
with her fist
until it was
shattered
and
broken
bleeding into the cracks
until it became
a
*reflection
                 truly
                          spoken
Helen Sep 2015
Never mistake her silence
as words better left
unsaid

She is merely strategising
with the demons inside
her head
Helen Dec 2013
lɑːˈ(d)ʒɛs/ noun

magnanimity,*
generosity,
liberality,
munificence,
bountifulness,
beneficence,
altruism,
charity,
kindness,
lavishness,
unselfishness


pretium est princeps unde redderent, quia munera(1)

τραγική, η τιμή
Σας έκανε να πληρώσετε
για αυτό
tragikí̱ , i̱ timí̱
Sas ékane na pli̱ró̱sete
gia af̱tó(2)

nu ligga död
botten av gropen(3)

nocht, ach le haghaidh an salachar
Chaith mé a chuirtear air(4)

Take your largesse and squeeze it where the sun never sees(5)

We all laid down
just as well
The master cut
the puppet strings
and we all
                        just
                                ­        *fell....
(1) Latin ~ the price is high, to pay for a gift
(2) Greek ~ grievous price We did pay this
(3) Swedish ~ now lying dead bottom of the pit
(4) Irsh ~ naked, but for the dirt I spent upon it
(5) No translation required
Helen Feb 2014
I stumbled upon a most beautiful poem
It made me cry, and smile and pretend
I don't ever want to have such loss known
I wept all the way, to the very end

then I read it again and again

We have all felt it, tasted its poison
tried to stay tight lipped without drinking
It's bittersweet kiss tends to destroy us
pores contract as it leeches through thinking

I seek surcease as I demand
another shot of being ******


So to the note, left at the end

Let the candy of such sublime memories
melt upon a tongue that never denies
For none of us will ever simply, be free
but we can sweeten our blood
with remembrance to good times

*good times
*like so much of life, it is bittersweet! yet that word is a reminder that it is not our losses, but what we make of our losses, that defines us... and makes our life sweet!* ~ S.E.Reimer
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/turning-pages-6/
Helen Oct 2012
pictures scattered across a coffe table
whispers of me float to the floor
once I lined the hallway in stillness
looking for nothing more
Sublime dictations of poetry
drift from the sheets on the bed
thoughts that are nothing more
than waking dreams in motion
are just what I might have said
I can't once again
connect with this space
anymore
when memories of me
are shattered
and scattered
Upon the floor
Helen Apr 2014
You laughed at me
Just the other day
When I held you tight
And said I’m glad you stayed
You shook your head at me
And said with a smile
Where on earth would I want to be?
I’ll be here a while

But I never thought
It would be like this
As the waves rolled out
To a darkening mist
You promised me
You’d be here a while
Now all that I’m left with
Is the memory of a smile


I promised we would wed
There would be no other
You smiled at me and said
Why would we bother?
It’s a bond of Man
What we have is fate
Let’s seize it now
For we could be too late

But I never thought
It would be like this
As the waves rolled out
To a darkening mist
You promised me
You’d be here a while
Now all that I’m left with
Is the memory of a smile


We faced a lifetime
Hand in Hand
Our life was precious
But we didn’t understand
We lived forever
In a few heartbeats of time
I said goodbye to the waves
Knowing you’ll always be mine

*But I never thought
It would be like this
As the waves rolled out
To a darkening mist
You promised me
You’d  be here a while
Now all that I’m left with
Is the memory of a smile
pre 2009 the only song I have written that I can actually hear the music in my head... shame I haven't got a musical bone in my body to reproduce it ;(
Helen Jan 2016
Neem mijn hand
wieg mijn hart
Geef me leven
Laten wij niet deel
Als wij vallen
Terwijl verdeeld
Wij mogen nooit
worden herenigd

Take my hand
Cradle my heart
Give me life
Do not let us part
If we fall
while divided
we may never
be reunited
5th January 2011 ~ a Facebook Memory
Helen Mar 2016
today I saw one of my original poems
so pleased I was it hit the 19.0K mark

I'm not a writer nor a literary genius
but this one was written from the heart

It holds all my fears, all my failures,
all my dreams and encapsulates
everything, in a few short verses
all that my life, that's not mine, entails

So thank you for the reads
and the love and the hope
that someone out there
is strengthened
by something I wrote

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/156490/i-am-your-tomorrow/
Thank you all, I can't describe how much this poem means to me and how much I hope it means to those who have read it.
Helen Jun 2014
my 10 year old daughter Chelsea started rapping at me and I was put on the spot, this came off the top my head... I'm not a huge fan of rap! She came back with the second half!
Feel free to add in the comments, she would love it! I'll edit it all together for her :)

Helen
Only once I wanted to be a mime
So I stopped talking af_ter a time
In a while I wasn't heard at all
Wonder if its because this stupid wall


Chelsea
*My name is Nancy
and I'm so fancy
Good and bad don't hafta rhyme
and now it's time to be a Mime
once I saw a pug in a mug
so I just shrugged
and chugged that mug
Word? lol!
Helen Sep 2013
You came to me
at an impressionable time
I was young and heart weary
some would have called it leary
of a kind face and a gentle word
I was not pretty or experienced
my facade a concrete palace
my body scarred with malice
No, I wasn't pretty, I never looked
to be sure
but told enough times,
so I heard
You rolled the dice
and came up with snake eyes
I wasn't surprised
I got lost in the world
but I never saw myself
You came to me
in my dreams, in my fantasies
reflected in the rain
on my window
and in tears of pain
collected in jars labeled Sorrow
you continually asked me
how I saw myself?
Truth denied, I just hide
I have never  seen myself so
how could I know?
All mirrors I have looked into
are just sheets of glass
showing me faces, staring at me
pointing and laughing and joking
and never once with any hint
of emotion
Like Love or Sincerity
or Acceptance
I just continually tend to expect
Less, you know?
because I've never seen how people
see me...
I've no reflection of me
just opinions, you see?
The ones that stand on the other side
of the glass and judge me
are my own eyes looking
straight through me
Then you came to me
standing in the bathroom
head down, pretending
the faces behind the glass
weren't mocking me for once
and you stood behind me
with a hand beneath my chin
and raised my face to the glass
and asked
Tell me what you see?
I saw your face, all angled grace
with glittering eyes
and winsome smile
and an expression that begged of me
to see what you see
then I looked into the mirror
and replied with aching truth
Between the furrowed lines
and scars of time
I see people laughing
taunting that you couldn't
possibly want me
I see...
Me
Everyday since I've held my head high
and looked at that sheet of glass
waiting to see your reflection behind me
and I ask myself
How could I see your eyes
looking at me, glittering
but when I search for my own
I only ever see
faces in glass, jeering me
but I never, ever ask the glass
Why I'm alone
Helen May 2015
When she sat there
on the broken chair
all faded in her glory
You just saw the broken
in that moment
missing the complete story

Sitting where you remain
staring at broken frames
photographic graveyard
tracing the scratches
of memories interred
Hurt never hurt so hard

Memories play on repeat
as you lay at their feet
nighmares are a comfort
these moments raged
inside a locked cage
the moment is upon us

Let the empty broken chair
remind us of 'nobody there'
Let the moment
as it comes upon us
be the moment
that doesn't own us

Broken chair, Photographic lies
Empty Nightmares, Open Eyes


We get caught in moments
that chain us to our demise
Then the moment we are free
We are chained again, by Lies
Helen Feb 2012
there are no rules

        love

                           we should not be fools
Helen Jun 2013
I waited under under a waning moon
for a night that did not start
Beneath the pale
of exacting twilight
I ripped open my chest
and held out my heart

The darkness surrounding
consuming its light
drumming of heartbeats

an encrypted call to a lover,
a predator
no one at all

But you called to me

You asked me to answer your prayers
and in the coming night
I wait for you
under the pale moon light

a silvery silence which sounds
of a hopeful despair
Which now knows of the who
but not the where

Silvery is the moon
the silence I can not bear
am I to be frowned upon
even as I am aware
I am here
You are there

the weighted distance counts
the miles aloud...
I'm not allowed to seek you out,
must stay suspended in my lunar shroud

I felt your every heart beat
Like footsteps upon the floor
I even felt the finality
when you decided to close the door
The moon was shielded by
clouds that night

She, like me, couldn't bear to see
the agony of your fight, your flight
Torn between survival
and what could never be
breathing just for revival
you can't know who is he or me but Joel and I, we have this understanding... it takes soul to write, and one to other well... he is my Moonlight :-)
Helen Sep 2014
I'm so sorry guys, it seems this is never ending.

Here is where I've found new stolen poems

http://www.experienceproject.com/

The user is http://www.experienceproject.com/about/marklovescoffe
(you may need to create a free account to check his posts)

and he's posted

Flying Fingers ~ Pamela Rae under I Wonder Who Reads My Stories with no link
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Wonder-Who-Reads-My-Stories/4785328

Know the Beauty of a Woman ~ Cataleya with no link and not only that, in the comments when he was congratulated for a great write he said 'Thanks mate'
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Know-The-Beauty-Of-A-Woman/4693147

new link 1 Release ~ POETIC T with no link and his comment was it was from his soul
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Love-To-Write/4781292

new link 2 I Am A Writer ~ Madalyn Beck no link
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-A-Writer/4631574

new link 3 A Kiss Upon a Blank Page ~ Kalypso no link, comments claim it as his own
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Kiss-Upon-This-Blank-Page/4577880

new link 4 A Thousand Colours ~ Amrutha no link
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/F-I-Could/4534117

As you can see, I could sit here all night and point out the stolen poems however, I will now just encourage everyone to visit this link
http://www.experienceproject.com/about/marklovescoffe
join the site (it's free) go to the left hand side menu and click on Stories and see if you recognize your work (you will know the instant you start reading the post!) Then give it to him with both barrels! Like I said in my notes, I'm almost certain they are a member here!

Please share!

**i have edited the links in here because he has changed his user name if you are looking for it, he dropped an e off the end... because we are sooo stupid....
anyone listed above that does not want to confront this person, I have created an account and will be happy to post on your behalf pointing out each instance he has breached copyright. I believe he is a member here as he's reposting Daily Poems... also, I haven't said a word yet in the comments to him so go get him if he has stolen from you, otherwise I will ;)
Helen Mar 2014
it's dark
I whisper
from the middle
of the bed

You said

nothing

as from across
the room
I smell
the sweet perfume
of your musky scent

I hear you
prowling
pacing
growling

then your lips
kiss my fingertips
my body
in my mind
you've licked
my soul
and as your lips
meet mine
I taste

whole

my hands are immobile
by the silken ties
that you have me bound

so I don't have sight
or touch
only three sense
have left me tense

Don't take away
anymore
I love to smell
you tasting me
I love every sound
Helen May 2014
My only being
Other than just me
Ticked upon a clock
Heard by the second
Every other thought stopped
Remarkably I shook

Being the centre
Less the universe
Every little thing
Solidified each corner
So proud of my Son/Daughter
Enchanting my life
Down to the last quarter

Being the centre of a tiny life
Enriches more than fantasy

Another day, another's breath
Narrows the arrows of what may be

Another holds your heart in hands
Noting that no one stands in stone
Guess I always wanted a
Eulogy that would make
Little footsteps not walk alone

While others keep on trying
In indelible artifice
Trying hard to hold onto things
Hiding their tears in pillows
Only to have their diamonds
Uncut their bleeding fist
Tightly grasped, un thrown

We give birth, we give life
In eternal gratitude
Never do we ask
Give us back what we give you
Should you never feel you could
just a deposit, a keepsake, for me and for my children to read, one day
Helen May 2013
It is so different for everyone...

Some wake up to breakfast in bed and others make breakfast for all.

Some get expensive gifts from their husbands and some open $5 presents that were lovingly chosen from a school Mothers Day stall.

Some mourn for a Mum who is no longer here
but honor her anyway with a thought and a tear.

Others wonder where their mothers are,
do they care about their children or
did she wake this morning knowing they are not far...
just so far away...

All that woke today
know they had a Mother
in some way
It's nice to know,
somewhere* in the world
someone whispered

*Happy Mothers Day
Helen Jan 2012
Is mauve, turquoise, burgundy, teal, lavender,
puce, umber, magenta and chartreuse.
It’s a rainbow of color that climbs after the thunderstorms
that is like a badge on a sky that is so blue

It is deserts and rains and mountains and plains
that stretch as far as the eye can comprehend
It is surrounded by ocean and blessed be
the beauty of it just never ends

It’s half a day trip and a drive up the mountain
to walk the forest trail to see the platypus in their habitat
It’s just a short trip on a hot summer day
to lay on a beach and man… In summer, you can’t beat that

At the same time it’s a winter wonderland of snow falls
upon mountains that are majestically steep
It’s a day trip away from the most magnificent site
Ayers Rock lives in mystery of ancestry so deep

Its glow worms at night alighting so bright
inside their domed cave at Natural Arch
It’s the Great Barrier Reef where the natural order of things
continue to grow, a rainbow of coral on the march

It’s sharing the ancestry of all that live on our land
St Patrick’s Day, Chinese New Year, we accept any invitation
We especially are thrilled when the rest of world joins in
with our love of a good horse race, Melbourne Cup…..
The Race That Stops a Nation

What other land has an entire country stand still
for three and a half minutes, which has never seemed so long
Fortunes are won and lost on this great day
Horses come from afar, we say ‘Bring It On’

There are no concrete jungles, just a huge urban sprawl
where everyone can claim paradise as their own
Its kids in the street playing cricket and football
amongst a community with which they have grown

Born from conviction, but raised by honor
it’s the land that just goes to show
that no matter where you may come from
if you put down roots, from our soil, you will grow

Friendships come easy, mateship is a lifetime gift
If you’re in trouble and the odds against you are stacked
Just give a holler, she’ll be right mate
We like a good fight. We’ve got ya back!
and today we celebrate... Happy Australia Day ;-)
Helen Jun 2015
if wishes were delicious
I'd only want to
eat you
Helen Nov 2014
I didn’t live long
Or so it seemed
I laughed, I cried
I hoped, I dreamed
At Kensington Palace
I had tea with the Queen
And over in Scotland
Nessie and I made a scene
I flew over wild plains
On my way to Timbuktu
I took on Niagara Falls
In a canoe
I played with the bulls
In my time in Spain
And while in Africa
I saw the rain
In San Francisco
I roller bladed the slopes
To the Golden Gate Bridge
Where I swung on the ropes
I built a snowman
That was Himalayan
I slept under the stars
Amongst ruins that were Mayan
In New York to the lovely lady
I sent a smile and a wink
In Rome at the Vatican
It made me think
That while in Ireland
Oh the beauty I found
I never really felt
My feet touch the ground
I never left my hometown
Or so it seems
But I did live it all
In my dreams

05/03/2010
just adding some of my older 'lost' stuff :)
Helen Mar 2015
I sit and wait
patiently
waiting for you
to drink
the words
from me
we have an agreement
you and I
I give you life
You grant immortality
#life #death #immortality #drink
#*******
Helen Jan 2014
Steel bites, nips with pain
Ruby tears spill, painting eyes
silver, like cold rain
Helen Mar 2014
Wafting through my bedroom window
the softly scented jasmine breeze
cools me upon sweat soaked sheets
making a mockery of my beliefs

Of all the questions that remained unanswered
that I added wings to and watched as they soared
inside my mind I became totally blind
to the most important prayer, the one left ignored

One day I decided to no longer pray
to be denied for so long is to forget
that an absentee landlord will never fix up
a house that is riddled with wormholes of regret

I pondered all my long dead prayers
uttered in vain and remaining untrue
So long ago I gave up my right
to believe that I deserved someone, like you

As you reappear through my bedroom door
with movements of grace that are lyrical
I have to remove myself from long held beliefs
to admit I finally received my miracle
Helen May 2015
all the questions
left inside of me
I wondered about
if there was anyone left
to please

all the answers
left inside of you
I wondered about
if there was anyone left
to abuse

and in the skies
the stars start to weep
diamond tears
that fall at your feet


are the answers that
you sought
in my pain

their glittering presence

driving you insane

this is my nightmare

wishing you weren't there
grieving me
with your false tears

you never
understood
with each and every
falsehood
I'd had to bleed,
a slow feed,
each and every year

trying to divine
every single time

I never had
anything
to fear

This is my nightmare
Every time, you aren't there
and I don't care
for you weren't there


When I decided to bleed

This is my nightmare
Every time you aren't there
but I don't care
for you weren't there


**When I decided to leave
Helen Feb 2012
your fingertips trace the curve of my cheeks, across my jaw
to my lips, down my throat and along my shoulder, skimming
my ribs until I shudder, crossing hollows, dipping into silken
valleys of skin only to return to my face to discover the rain
Helen Jul 2014
(just cross out the non applicable)

Helen was
a great chick/a stupid *****/my best friend

Her last words were
**** this ****/is that Saturn?/is this the end?

She always made me
toast for dinner/creeped out/laugh until I peed

She reminded me of
rain showers in sunshine/Chuckys bride/a most persistent ****

She always thought of
others first/her own miserable hide/ Wine

She devoted herself to
Family/Debauchery/Wine

She will know I'm here today because I
had the day off/wanted to make sure she's dead/want to go with her

She will probably be ******* if I
cry/stabbed her again/kissed her

She will know who
laughed at the sad bits/ drank the holy water/climbed into her casket

She will be thrilled if
tissues are unused/no one gropes her Husband/she fits in a Handbasket
at the printers... as we speak :)
Helen Apr 2014
you landed gently
on a breeze
you floated down
amongst the leaves
you ran beneath
the river docks
along the sands
and over rocks
you made it to
the ocean wide
where others dwelt
and joined their side
they took your hand
with a tiny smile
and you weren't lonely
for a while
you had to go
could not stay near
but are you happy now
My single tear?
pre 2009... so long ago
Helen Jan 2016
see me sitting
on the floor
see the cracks
inside the flaws
feel my anger
live my pain
I'll never be
the same again
while I exist
inside life's twister
my anchor will be
*My Sister
I love my Sisters... being one of 5 girls, I'm lucky to have them all in my life, no one knows anybody else quite like a sister knows a sister :)
Helen Feb 2016
Watched me
secretly
Forgot me
purposely

Met me
Harried me
Regretted me
Married me

Made me a Mother
Made me a Wife
Gave over all others
Gave me a life

Loves me in Happiness
Loves me in Anger
Loves me in a dress
Loves me naked, with Hunger

Counts me as a blessing
Counts me as a prize

Relies on me when stressing
Relies on me to tell no lies

Lays his head upon my lap
Lays his demons upon my sword
Lays his dreams upon my alter
Lays his problems outside the door

Sits in Silence at my tears
Sits grinning at my Triumph
Sits still in between the years
Sits complacently inside Love

My Valentine is not a day
not just one inside a year
He's everyday I live and breathe
He's the salt inside each tear
He's the foundation stone
of this Temple I call
My Life
My Valentine is
My Husband
and I am
His Wife
Happy 26th Valentines Day my Husband... Thank you for making the other 364 days of the year just as special :)
Helen Jul 2015
not all nails
seal coffins
some build
shelter
against rain
Helen Sep 2015
do you know how hard it is
to shake yourself
from a near death experience?

it can take a lot of alcohol
and staying up late
just to watch
a loved one breathe
so soft and evenly
in sleep

it's hard to calm hands
that continue to tremble

it's hard to close eyes
that picture them tumble

it's hard to equate
they are lying by your side
when just a small amount
of different circumstances
meant they could have died

I don't understand the universe
or if cosmic chances
are a real thing
all I understand is
the warm body that's lying
next to me tonight
is testament to a life
I'll never take for granted
he's lucky to be alive tonight
I'm lucky he's here beside me
continuing to be
*my everything
true story... I'm very lucky to be lying next to my husband tonight, watching him breathe as he sleeps, he could have died a few days ago... a series of freaky events ensued but he's now breathing quietly next to me...  I don't know if there is a God, I have never believed there was... I don't know if life just has another path for him or Fate was just being kind that day... I don't know, I'm just grateful to be laying next to him tonight as he sleeps easily...
Helen Oct 2020
because we never said goodbye
the end was utterly relentless
*sigh*
Helen Oct 2013
Forget yesterday!

It's tomorrow
in Australia

*it's another beautiful day
I can personally guarantee it :)
Helen May 2014
how selfish

are you

to remove

that joy

from others?
Helen Feb 2012
uncurling, a yawn
wandering back from the black
unfurled toward dawn

breeze is dependent
on just a single breath drawn
negating oaths sworn

to lie in darkness
yet not let light become us
dark death leaves us torn
to wake each day is not so much of a blessing, not so much of a curse, more, that once awoken you say "Here I am Day! Do your worst!"
Helen Jul 2015
Nightmare creatures don't just live inside our dreams, where they like to feed upon our silent screams.
Nightmare creatures don't just feed upon our silent screams, they continue to form teams, to float boats on the streams of our tears. They waft gently upon our fears and slake their desire upon the funeral pyre of our fantasies. Then break us down with fallacies that families are ecstasy when only should we feel pity. Nightmare creatures that inhabit our dreams scream ecstasy when we deny family but only in a dream, it seems, our nighmare creatures can only get the best of us when we choose to stage a scene.
Helen Jan 2015
The road behind bares us a backdrop, too many nights find us fractured in our thoughts and the dreamers we once were are far from the two people who stand today.

We're broken, mere splinters of our shipwreck past, driftwood on a shore that drowns every time the ocean breathes.
The path is littered with slaughtered dreams that didn't bleed.

As time and tide wait for no man shall we find it a tragic scene?
simply erased with the sunsets demise?
No one gets away without a scar and mine speak a road map to chaos
and a found hello to you.

Mine own scars are fingertips
gouged into the sand and faded
but salted by tears of the ocean, inerasable by the tide.
A soul washed up upon the shore, a road map etched delicately into fine bones.
You can trace where I'd been before. All roads lead to your hello.

In broken lines and have uttered phrases and one too many empty night.
Backdrop of chaos does paint in the darkest colors you could ever imagine .

How does it gets so flawed by our own creations and vices my dear?
Does it still ring ever so true?

The bell rings true whispering distant voices
Empty nights are just bottles lined up as dead soldiers
We contemplated our own truths and fell victim to our own vices
The backdrop is black, no colour beneath skin.
Honestly? Where does our downfall begin?

Two ships underneath the nightscape past the spark once understood the flame and nothing more .
In empty alleys, like cats to prowl, we find our moments, and then bury our thoughts to lay for no others to see.

half written papers and half heard conversation the keys of the piano haunt the silence as myself shadows that still remain.

Nothing is but a thought and those are like dead flowers laid to waste a reflection of far better times

The night crawls to meet the day as it has so many times before.

The thought of the minds bottle lay empty upon the table.
A fond farewell is but a sugar coated goodbye.
And I seldom have minced my words to mask their sting.

The page forever bleeds.

Pages that lay scattered on a ***** floor
Bleeding ink into cracks
that will forever more
hide the spirit of our souls
It has been truly my honor to co write this John : Enjoy
Helen May 2016
at 3am my fingertips
will slowly drift
across your skin
only because
of the incessant need
to know you exist
laying beside me
I want to crawl inside
and simply hide
at 3am, your skin
is my tether to reality
as my nightmares
slowly begin
to descend
upon me
Helen Jan 2012
Here it is in all it’s glory

Arriving here has been nothing
short of gory


I’ve survived the worst
but that is not
what I fear
what worries me the most
is the end is almost near
I wonder what my demise
will be this time
I can compare it
to all the others
that bought me to
Number 9…

The first one was just
a simple mistake
I died for my compassion
I did not listen
to dear old Dad
and attended the ill
which I lived (and died for)
with a passion

Secondly I was burned
at the stake for
revealing a feeling
I had been here before
My one sweet love
who was aghast at my
revelation
branded me
something more
And I still shudder to
think I had been
forsaken

Next my time was ended by
a small gunshot wound
to the chest
by 2 lovers
that dueled for me
I just hope that the winner
was the one
that I loved
the best

Four…
I was run down in a murky street
by a horse and cart
as I tried to escape
Slavery

Five…
I was tossed out
of hearth and home
because my family died
in my absence
while I was off fighting
and was denied
for my
Bravery

Six…
I was just trying to sell Roses
which I picked
with my own hands
until they bled
I was alone
on a cold winters night
a target
but at least I was warm
eventually
though the man
that I followed
didn’t take me
where he said we would go
but I still followed
where he led

Seven
and
Eight…

Well lets just say
that after Six
I hardly even learnt
from my mistakes…

So here I am
at number Nine
When my time comes
please, leave alone the priest!
Why abuse him with the
seriousness of a faith
that I seriously lack
Just hold my hand
And wish me luck
I won’t be back

*I hope ;-)
Helen Oct 2013
Dinner is done but there are still the dishes. Piled high in the empty sink they mock the fact that the meal was delicious but they lay there waiting to be washed. Grace is defiant toward the quietness that surrounds her as she clears the kitchen and all her convictions are squashed.

Dissatisfaction is her only distraction. There is no equal ground and the hours outside of his pleasure are hers to squander. The simple notion of a handmaiden that waxes bare and parades in barely there attention is a question that is rarely asked and is next to never pondered and makes a person wonder.

The clock counts down the hours, creeping toward another day but still Grace is defiant toward the odds that she will recover an ounce of self loathing that she has bathed in and she waits, with bated breath until the time she can redeem herself in the eyes of the monster that has molded her actions and created her as a scourge of the Gods

Grace?
Are you coming to bed?
I’ve had a shave.
I’m well feed
I wanting you
here
by my side.
Why do you continue to hide?


She slips into the bathroom to examine her face, her body, her soul, in the mirror she can not hide from the mounting desire, the heady mixture of dominance that has beaten her down but picked her up from the ground to show her there is something higher than laying down

She showers and scrubs her skin with 3 different scents, each to disguise all the previous rules that she has bent and to mask her own unique allure where she stops being Grace and becomes something more pure. Last comes the outfit that makes her more than just Grace.

It’s Lace
His heart will race
She will become more than his disgrace
Helen Oct 2015
She sits in the rocking chair
steadily rocking, to and fro
She peers down into her arms
Knowing she won't ever let go

blowing gentle kisses
from her lips
She trails her hand lightly
over silken blankets
with over bitten fingertips

She dreams of lazy walks
in parks of sunshine
and reading little books
after bath at bedtime

She fantasizes about
golden hair and pretty skirts
about skipping time
and graduation
until it almost hurts

She completely breaks
with reality, testing faith
against mortality

She sits in the rocking chair
steadily rocking, to and fro
She peers down into her empty arms
Knowing she won't ever let go
Helen Oct 2015
I've written over
two and one half
hundred thousand words
some in kindness,
most in blindness
some in anger
some in Love
said with tongue
in cheek

some I wished
came from above
most have come
from below

but just so you know

Each word was wrenched from me
mostly from an open chest
Each syllable that falls from me
lays openly, coming to rest
at your feet, laying on your lap
clinging so hopelessly to your neck
hoping you will never take back
the thought, the sentiment
the words I would use
to describe
the journey that bought you
to Me
on a path I must walk back
*in order to survive
words mean nothing unless the words mean something
Helen Oct 2015
they can peel the same DNA from the bottle that we both drank from,
but no one will care who died first, only the position of our bodies will tell the tale. I'll be laid out beautifully, like a tragedy that failed, you'll be sprawled so eloquently, it will appear so definitely that you killed me but,
no one will care, our positions are neither here or there all that's left
is what they hear on the record player
*playing our song
It's in the music we hear our heartbeats
Helen Dec 2015
no one looks at me
like you do
no one takes my fingertips
and slips them between lips
to lick off my essence

no one knows me
like you do
no one takes me inside them
like a simple hymn
simply undressed

no one touches me
like you do
no one ever wanted to know me
no matter how I sat simply
but you do

no one wanted to know me
until you undressed me
now it simply comes down to
two words
*I Do
It's sometimes impossible to tell someone how you feel about them unless they tell you how they feel about you....
Helen Mar 2015
pulled into the grocery store
turned around and locked the door
started walking the other way
went ten blocks down the steet
simply just following my feet
memories in my mind on replay

got up this morning, made the bed
felt the vessel in my head
Snap! and I started to sway

took over an hour to simply dress
even the mirror screamed at the mess
flipped the image as I do each day

found myself standing in a soup kitchen
everybody lined up, just *******'
shrug my shoulders, had something to eat

locked the house, started the car
I knew I couldn't drive so far
the grocery store was where I was beat


So ten blocks down from my abandoned car
I don't know if I've come too far
to make sure I'm no longer a burden

The ticking time bomb in my brain
finally activated making me insane
Hope I was far enough away to stop myself from hurting them.
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