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  Jan 2015 Heidi Mason
Haylee Dicker
How do you explain anxiety,
With out any profounaties?
Do you start with the intense urge to hide?
The overwhelming nervousness,
Worse yet followed by sickness.
Your throat begins to burn as the bile churns.
You know it's coming,
Uncontrollable,
Gone,
So you're on the floor again but how many times can you pick your self up?

Imagine paranio
Even your mother is against you
No matter what help reaches out
You believe it's all in spite
But spite of what you can not answer
To trust would be a disaster.
Walls so high most people give up,
And they wonder why you say you aren't good enough?

Then there's the depression
It cuddles these two
Like a evil little family
It could destroy you.
Sadness so deep,
It's hard to move on.
Trying to remind yourself you weren't made wrong.
Heidi Mason Jan 2015
you see
men appear to me like
a garden of flowers
and when I saw you
I knew that's the one
I wanted to hold on forever.

you are my favorite flower
and I could just stare at you
because you are beautiful

but im the bee
trying to pick you
when all the other bees
have already used you.
but that will never keep me
from trying
Heidi Mason Jan 2015
they're back
my little friends
they tell me how
im suppose to live.

my whole body
is trembling
scared that my mind
will fall for the
beautiful words
my little friends come up with.

"come on girl."
"you just need that blade"
"run it across a few times"
"no one has to know"

FOR ***** SAKE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
im crying out.
and I want no one
and im scared
to make mistakes
and fall into unhealthy
love for the voices
who tell me
how I need to live.
  Jan 2015 Heidi Mason
Bailee Carter
“What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re dying on the inside on the opposite ends of a telephone call. We act like there is nothing wrong and just hope to God the other doesn’t hear the hurt in our voices.”

B.C.
Heidi Mason Jan 2015
to the one I blame
for the reason I have cuts on my wrists
you never thought you could
hurt me this much
arent you happy?

to the one I blame
for trust issues with relationships
I think the new term
is relationshits
and you dug me
6 feet deep
and kicked me in

to the one i blame
for me falling in love
with the pain
I confused
love with pain
and I'll probably never be the same.

to the one I blame
for putting myself into shame
you were the only one I thought
that would be good for me
and you made me lose myself
and now
im fully gone.
Heidi Mason Jan 2015
hey you
I think you know
how to hurt me
and to creep
in between my skin
and I hate you
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