I'm missing this idea of you
The idea I had a while ago
I never really wanted anything
It was just a crush
A stupid, meaningless crush
But now I'm overthinking
Trapped inside dungeon walls
I built just for myself
I'm playing my own game
Unwillingly
Tears barely contained
Behind this messy and unconvincing facade
I wonder if my family is worried
Though I'm mostly worried for myself
Things won't get bad again
I'll sing myself to sleep
And fall in love with dreams
Of being with someone
Lying quietly against their shoulder
Rolling out my legs and
Falling asleep to bad tv

Hideously underwhelming
I think I can see cave lights
Off in the distance
You radiate everything
Bad memories and
A cold, calculated concept
I shiver as you shake me
Slowly out of my corporeal body
Sending me to a new dimension
Surrounded by the light
Of a thousand almost fireflies
But it's a cold light
Nothing friendly or familiar
And ants are crawling
Up and down the bones of my spine
Reminding me
Of crisp October evenings
That find me slowly rotting
Dead with or without your love

I never not ache like this
The back of my mind is
Ringing like a church bell
The somber sound of
A drizzling day's funeral

i look up at the moon
wondering if you're seeing the same
or if you're seeing the sun
but one day
we will see the same
one day
we will be under the same roof
in the same bed
as lovers
who use to see different