How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in,
With gently smiling jaws!

Between you and me,
I kiss your photograph
when I pass,
the one on my phone
or the ones in frames
or  behind glass.

I do it secretly
so no one else
can see,
just between
you and me.

Sometimes
I blow a kiss
from my palm,
hoping it
will reach you
wherever you are,
a mere spiritual
world away
or maybe so
not quite far.

Some days,
I hold things
which were yours,
try and sense
the feel of you,
the scent of you
within the cloth
or book or other things,
holding tight to see
what comes or what
you may bring.

There is a part of me
that's forever lost,
part of me
that has a hole,
a scar, a wounded
heart and mind;
but also there are
parts of you which
none can take,
the link of memories,
the genetic hold
within me still,
your sound of voice,
the way you were
and stood, joked,
laughed or looked,
that picture of you
within my mind,
which none can see.

I kiss your picture
when I pass, secretly,
between you and me.

So much depends upon
The strength of that boy
That gangling brown haired boy
Who may be skin and bone
But somehow manages
To carry around the weight of loving me
Every day
And to have my burdens and baggage
On his back
But I'm scared that someday
His strength will fail him
And he'll be crushed
And I'll have been the undoing
Of the one person
I never wanted to see hurt

So much depends upon
The patience of that boy
That boy who is usually go go go
But for some reason slows down
And waits for me to catch up
And can always tell when something's wrong
And always cares
And listens to me complain
But I'm scared that someday
His patience will have run dry
And he'll take off running on his own
Because I held him back

So much depends upon
The blindness of that boy
Who is the smartest person I know
But was stupid enough
To fall in love with me
And I know it's selfish of me
But I wouldn't mind
If his love was unending
But I'm scared that someday
His blindness will dissolve
And he'll realize he deserves better
And the only person holding me together
Will hate me
As much as I hate myself

After we spoke and
I told you we were done,
I ran to my mistress.
She's a beauty dressed in blue
who makes my stomach ache.
Her name is Skyy and
she helps me to beat myself up.
You see, I'm a
slight *******.
I'm working on that..
I hate *****.

I thought maybe if
I let you go
a burden would be lifted
off my shoulders.
Not that you were the weight,
rather that I knew
what was coming and
the thought of leaving it to
the last minute
was eating me alive.
I had to weigh my options
and decided;
if I left it until the day
I am to leave this island,
it would hurt more
with no opportunity to see you again-
to maintain friendship,
to cope with our loss.
If I waited,
I might have changed my mind
and stayed.
What a mess that
would have been.
I wont let anything
keep me here.
Not even the people I love.

I said I didn't think
I would even miss you.
But it's been less then
twenty-four hours and
I have a hole in my stomach.
I try to eat and it just
wants to come back up.
They say wounds heal in time.
I leave in 82 days for
another time zone.
Maybe the hour difference
will effect the time and
healing process.
Until then we'll see how this goes.
Maybe this will help me
shed those extra pounds
I was so worried
you'd notice.