People won’t love me unless I’m thin. They say “be happy in your own skin.” But how can I be happy when I’m so fat it’s a crime. I want to be less then a hundred pounds but I know that will take time. It will take time to be beautiful and thin. Then finally I’ll be comfortable in my own skin.
I’m thinking about The what ifs We are friends They say life is About a conversation that never ends So I think about a life spent with a friend How much fun that would be
All these boys confuse me They say one thing and do another In the end I don’t know a thing But with you I know one thing Is that we got friendship
Not too many “stick around long enough” I realize now it’s not all on them Its about me, I don’t make it easy I’m sorry Don’t use this All against me They say I’m closed off But isn’t this me trying…
Let me tell you a story… “A 16-year-old girl falls in love With a boy a million miles away She plans a life with him 3 whole years Invested in him Marriage was even in the works. Their plans start to become blurry And slowly disappear… She grows He fades She wakes up one day He seems like a stranger Was she ever in love? It’s all in a fog From then on Nothing really seems real No boy would come in her way of any dream”.
So now what? I got you You got me Lets all be happy and free I know that’s not even close...
So he wants some words He wants to talk… Where do I start? I can’t even find the beginning or end When did I lose my choice of words? I used to be so out spoken
I’m siting here Thinking of which words to say Which will help Which won’t at all I’m thinking of all the people I’ve hurt It’s starting to weigh me down From words I couldn’t say… Or feelings I couldn’t express… I’m thinking about the person I want to be I’m thinking this is not me Or the person I want to be
How do I go about this? Nothing I can say will change anything I just know I want to make things right Right now The truth only makes things worse The truth just adds to the confusion
The truth is Under my own pressure In the moment I made a decision Not realizing the consequences Doing a human thing I rarely let myself do Because my curse of over thinking **** over me
Forgive me I’ll give you all the time All the time in the world This time, I’m not going anywhere I can’t fix everything But I can try and fix this My fingers can’t keep up with my typing My mind is raising x100 A million ways of how to say sorry I know this is just one of them…
I said I didn't think I would even miss you. But it's been less then twenty-four hours and I have a hole in my stomach. I try to eat and it just wants to come back up. They say wounds heal in time. I leave in 82 days for another time zone. Maybe the hour difference will effect the time and healing process. Until then we'll see how this goes. Maybe this will help me shed those extra pounds I was so worried you'd notice.