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 May 2016 hadley
Mike Dela Cruz
There is this pain inside of me
Caused mainly by your apathy
It screams at me with silence
And I cover my ears to no difference

There’s also my anxiety
That chokes my heart without mercy
As all these questions fill my mind
Whose answers I don’t want to find

Will you ever care for me
Will you ever share with me
The love I’ll crave for endlessly
Will this end in futility

All I want is to talk to you
I have this need to know what’s true
Why would you deny me the right
To save myself from my own blight

You were my only thread of hope
Out of this void, my escape rope
As soon as I latched on, you snapped
Now in my own darkness I’m trapped.
I
Oh life, you unfulfilled *******,
All seeing eye of admonition,
You unfair precinct of justice,
You incredulously cruel myth,
Oh, How I hate you
Oh, How I want to leave you
Oh, How I love your counterpart more,
Death.
She seems easy and trouble free.
An impenetrable kingdom of night.
I wish I could fade into oblivion sometimes.


II*
I'm three year strong of my grand depression.
It's not always there now,
but it is.
And so am I.
And so are you.
And so is my lacuna,
my friend,
who invivorogated my sense of purpose,
who gave me a reason to live.
She has been
My net I fall onto everytime
you push me down from the trapeze act of my passions.
The medicine that nurses my wounds when you leave me bleeding.
My ventilator as my soul was dying a slow sad death.
When you **** all my hope away
she plants it back again deep in my heart
impervious to your morbid touch
tightly sealed with her warm kiss.
I am scared to be happy because of you,
because every time I am happy
you decide to give me a new **** reason
to be ineffably sad.
You know where it hurts me the most
which parts of me, is most tender and vulnerable,
you know my weaknesses
you use it against me like an old friend who is now an enemy.
Why can't you just let me be ?
I'm tired, so **** tired.
It's alright.
I have my love,
and I'll make it through the day
and spit in your apathetic face.
I ******* hate you,
though you are beautiful okay.
Life is so much easier when you have someone who is there to bear the cross with you and who makes a heavenly buffet from the **** it throws at you. I'm blessed to have someone like that.
 May 2016 hadley
River
Persevere
 May 2016 hadley
River
Persevere, my dear
For everything you lack
And all the voids unfilled
One day, soon
I promise
You're happiness will overflow

Maybe it will be
The day you die
When you realize
All the ego's lies
Were making you unsatisfied

But I hope today
Is a different day for you
I hope today
You don't make yet another excuse
To self-sabotage and continue on in your abuse
Of your beautiful body and
Your magnificent mind
I truly hope that you decide
To be kind to yourself

Trust me,
I would know
It's not always easy
To feel like you are pleasing
You get addicted to appeasing
Other's egos
But my dear
Wrap yourself within the warmth of your own arms
Because today,
You don't have to feel this way,
You are safe
You don't have to be addicted to your vices
That only bring temporary relief...
No darling,
You can make a change today in your life
And persevere through the trials of transformation
Until one day,
You awaken
To eyes crystal clear
And a heart that can feel again.
 May 2016 hadley
cgembry
A stolen glance a
Playful wink
Love eternal sworn in ink
Teacher confiscates the letters
Forced to read
Out loud
Beautiful sonnets that would
Make Shakespeare proud
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