The metal in this brass knuckle heart
punches my chest from the inside out

The valves, a semiconductor for the static
electricity of your touch

Who ever thought a defibrillator could be so soft?

And in the challenge of this love
I wonder what kind of mettle you're thinking
of now

And I think patience is found
on a molecular level inside the iron
in your blood

And love then, a stone ground down
from your ashes

I mean, pressure and heat are
what diamonds are made from

Tell me again of the struggles you shone through

And through that logic, we are precious stones
but so much softer than that

I want to hold you like the focused light
from a jeweler trying to make a sale
but so much more earnest than that

And what of the contradiction
between hardness
and softness

Because there is you

How can you be so hard
and so full of life?

How can you be so beautiful?

I had you, but I lost you.
I didn't know you, so I lost you.
I got scared, and I lost you.
You're okay, I still lost you..

as i grab the gun
i shake in fear and say to myself
what am i doing
i'm still in love with you
and if i were to do this
i'd be killing you
by breaking your heart
forever wounding you
by our only love
and just the thought of it
makes me restless
knowing that you may die too
all because of me

Know love, know loss
No love, no loss.

I thought I had a thousand words
Folded, like cranes, to gift you
My mouth cannot make their shapes,
They taste of regret, which
Unsettles me, you
Once as familiar to me as
The veins that decorate my
Wrists that I offered you, soft,
Meatless and vulnerable, I
Handed you a cunning blade and
Prayed you would not cut too deeply, or
Too casually, with disregard, I
Took my time in concluding that
A weapon must be passed, with
The blade turned inward, toward
The one who would be wounded most harshly, were they
To stumble and fall upon the cutting edge of trust.

I have evolved

to survive in the blackest depths
where there is no light, no sound.
To survive at the tallest heights
where the air is too thin to breathe.
Yet, I am being crushed by the immense pressure
of the unexplored trenches of my mind.
I am being suffocated by the lack of oxygen
at the sickening peaks of my vacant euphoria.

I have evolved

not to thrive, not to live, but to survive, to exist.
I can't remember the last time I felt human
at the apex or the bottom of my trivial existence.
I don't believe that I ever was, because
humans have evolved to live
on stable grounds below the cliffs.
They have evolved to build the ships
that sail above me while I drift.

I have evolved






                                                   ­                                                     only to exist.

I don't want to be found.
people are hard,
People are hurting.

But I'm a fragile beautiful thing
it's just going to take the right person to see.

just get through today. Just get through today.
there's nothing wrong. You're perfectly OK.

Use people like tissues.
throw them away after one use.
discard your emotions
until you hear further news.

I'm okay with being an acquired taste.
I'll repel the wrong people.
the right people will fall in love with me instantly.

I'm not convenient.
I'm not easy.
I'm fickle.
I'm bored.

love me and leave me like all the others before.